I woke up wanting...
my cheek against your skin,
listening to the beating of your heart
the air rising in your lungs,
Tracing your clavicle with my nose
Up the side of your neck
Breathing you in deeply
As I softly kiss your cheek
And whisper gently in your ear
"Good morning, papi..."

- Morning would begin like this

Say
y e s...
Effortless.

Like a constant meditation,
in between my daily to-do list,
thoughts of the weather,
what I was going to eat next,
deep inhales,
and seemingly interminable exhales,
he was the mantra my mind would default to.

*~Ohm is where my heart is

I know how you're feeling, yes
I know just what you think
I know he's kinda cute
'specially after a drink
or two you share with him
and almost on a whim
You start to consider the possibility...
....but you don't know him like I do.
(I pray you never do.)

He says all the right things
and talks of pretty rings
and goals and future plans
He takes you by the hand
and looks into your eyes
It takes you by surprise
I know girl, I do, believe me...
...but you don't know him like I do.

Yes, he sounds so sweet
and he will sweep you off your feet
A pretty picture he will paint
then admits he's not a saint
Believe him and what I say
It all just fades away,
It all just fades away...
Changes like night and day.
You don't know him like I do...
I pray for you that you never do.

He said: make war, not love.
So she took out her sword,
named it kindness and killed him with it.

Withered petals remain
on stems that have gone dry
a dusty symbol of the day
someone cared enough to try.

*-I'll buy my own **** roses

There was a certain cadence when he talked.
His head would bop to its own rhythm as he enthusiastically recounted, waxed poetic, or ranted.

Rant or rave,
There was no real in between
As is often the case with passionate people and sharp tongues.

His words cut like razors.
He was more than willing to draw blood and I was more than willing to shed it.

That cute dimple on the right side of his face only revealed itself when he flashed a wide satisfied grin.
Just like that, I melted.
*-My heart is made of Nutella & Chocolate

I do not deal well with death/illness/suffering.
For someone who always seems to know what to say,
when it comes to this,
I am at a loss.

I am certain that is so
because I know all too well
there is nothing to say.

Deafening silence.

There is no right thing.
No words to make you feel better.  
There is no consolation prize.
With sadness in my eyes,
I have nothing else to offer.
Just these two arms and lots of love.

Sometimes (most times) that is not enough.
These two arms can’t take away the pain
and trust, it is not for lack of trying…
I try. sigh I try….

And if I say “I’m sorry” that just might REALLY **** you off.
You think I’m apologizing for your condition,
like it’s my fault or my decision.
I know it’s not, I know.
Truth is, I am sorry...
I’m sorry I could not give you more.

I wish I had more.

All I have is these two arms.
No words.
Lots of Love.

It’s not enough.

I can pinpoint
the exact moment
you cross my mind--
(I mean,
besides all the time.)
That moment I think of the way your mouth presses against my skin,
l involuntarily bite my lip,
remembering the way you kiss.
Enraptured and tangled,
like the secrets of the universe,
the meaning of life,
the cure for cancer,
would be found on your tongue.
It would take every single fiber of my being to will myself away from your embrace.
I still feel the weight on my chest,
as I breathe heavy,
and e x h a l e.

So now,
I think of you,
and bite my lip.

They say the world revolves around ***.
I say LOVE makes the world go round.
Wait...
maybe I meant, money.
I want it to be love.

Many breezy nights spent
wrestling with my bed,
seeking the warmth of his chest,
so I can rest my weary head.
Sheets tangled round my limbs,
seems I always think of him.
A cold pillow cradles all the thoughts I've left unsaid.

I'll tell you a secret...
No one has ever died from a broken heart.
...and you will love again.
I promise. ❤️

Now, I am awake
Chasing daydreams at night
Lucid reveries

After all your lies,
Your wandering eyes,
The incessant tries,
Try,
       Try,
             Try again
To make this work
To understand,
I try to leave and you hold my hand,
Can't you see?
You can't break me.

Do not mistake patience
For stupidity
Do not confuse weakness
With compassion.
Seems I'm always waiting for the passion to come.
Just like I wait for you
To come around.
But you just keep going around
While I keep stickin around
Wounded
But not beaten.
I WON'T be broken.

Not by you,
Not by this,
None have succeeded in the past
You're not the first
(And probably not the last.)
I WON'T BE broken.

Strong, BOLD
Not afraid to be alone
Funny thing, is that its kinda sad,
I was already alone
The whole time I was WITH YOU,
I was WITHOUT YOU.
You're empty.

You think its gonna make a bit of difference to me?
So don't YOU feel sorry for me.
I'm free.
I'm whole.
I'm new.

(Its you, You, YOU!
Underneath your clothes
In between your soul
I know a part of you that no one knows)
You're the one at the end of the day
Who's going to wonder
Why you ****** it all away
Looking for the missing piece
You find and then throw away...
But not me,
Not I.
Look at me.
               Touch me,
                               Feel me...
You didn't break me.
  
I'm alive.
You can break my heart,
But, oh no, not my spirit.
You CAN'T break me.
I WON'T BE BROKEN.

You are Mahogany,
Brown, strong and beautiful.
My eyes are dark but you see the sparks,
Like a promise kindling at your side.
I would like to lay, stay a while,
but I will light your shade.
This fire within me will ignite you--
Until both are consumed.
I am no longer
me and you
are no longer
you.
Embers remain
a smoldering testament to the blaze
that once was me
and you,
like ashes
got a little blown away.

Give me something, feasible, viable....
What is this plan of yours?
Give me something tangible,
something I can hold,
something I can touch
and touches me.

Words remain for a fleeting moment
and are carried away by the wind,
as if the syllables had never been breathed from someone's lips.
A brief mental lapse.
Give me something real
so that I never have any doubt.

And if not,
let this then remain just a secret smile
in the back (or the front) of my mind, depending on the day time and weather.
In my travels,
I'll think of you fondly.
If our paths happen to cross,
I will not disregard you.
I will greet you,
kiss both your cheeks
and, for a moment, remember you
...and us.
And then, I'll smile.

How do I get through to you.
and explain to you,
when you speak Martian
and I speak Venusian?
It's so difficult for me to transliterate
b/c there are no words that translate
directly.....
At least not effectively...
Lest we resort to sign language
and middle fingers never make anything better.

So what do we do?
...Nothing.
Just sit around with an air of misunderstanding.
We missed the point
and we missed understanding...

And then you wonder why my eyes
are glassier than they should be...
and then you ridicule me..
but in Martian that means you don't comprehend
which in Venusian that doesn't translate right.

But, "I love you", does.
And, "I need you", does...
Why don't you just say that?

I do not deal well with death/illness/suffering. For someone who always seems to know what to say,
when it comes to this, I am at a loss.

I am certain this is so
because I know all too well
there is nothing to say.
Deafening silence.
There is no right thing.
No words to make you feel better.  
There is no consolation prize.
With sadness in my eyes,
I have nothing else to offer.
Just these two arms and lots of love.

Sometimes (most times)
that is not enough.
These two arms can't take away the pain
and trust,
it is not for lack of trying....
I try. ::sigh:: I try....

And if I say "I'm sorry"
that just might REALLY **** you off.
You think I'm sorry for your condition,
like it's my fault or my decision.
I know it's not, I know.
Truth is, I'm sorry I could not give you more.

I wish I had more.
All I have is these two arms.
No words.
Lots of Love.

It's not enough.

What's with you?
Have you lost the taste for my hot chocolate?
Un pisquito de miel es mi toque especial,
El que le da el colorsito que te encanta,
Y el sabor caramelito... plus a secret ingredient.
¿Si te acuerdas como te encantaba?

Developed a taste for cafe con leche.
Looks more like leche con cafe.
Bland, Blanched and Baptized,
None of the creaminess you claimed to love
About my hot, hot chocolate.

Ya no te inspiran las ventanas de mi profundo mar,
Mysteriously Deep, Intriguingly Complex,
With so much life calmly swimming underneath
My tormented surface.
Te acuerdas como te mesia dentro de mis olas fria y tibias a la vez,
Y tu feliz de embriagarte de ellas
Ahora nadas dentros de lagos azul verdozos
Aqua seafoam, algae, lagoon
A mi me parecen aguas estancadas,
Y no la calma que vez tu.
Me decias que no te gustaban las piscinas
Falsas,
Chlorinated,
Pero ya no nadas en las ventanas de mi profundo mar.
You stare into the horizon and miss the point completely.

Como es que te gusta tanto algo que es tan diferente a lo que yo te ofreci?
Quizas yo he cambiado mi forma de cocinar,
y tu tus gustos al nadar...
Quizás.

I don't need to be teased.
Giving me just enough to appease.
Just good enough was never good enough for me.
Save it.
Small quantities do not satiate,
they frustrate
me.
Appetizer love leaves me hungry. Wanting more...
Save it.
Little scraps will not calm the beast.
I want to feast.
I want it all.
Anything else is nothing.
Nothing else will do.
Save it.

Let me love you, baby.
I'm not saying it's going to be a walk in the park.
But maybe.... smile
It will be,
Just that simple.
Just to walk with you...
for a little while
or a long while.
It's not a walk down an aisle,
just a path, a journey...
Together if you so desire.
No destination in mind.
Take our time and stroll.
Just explore,
Find out more...
about you, about me.
about ourselves.
Already took the first step
All you gotta do is take the next.
Will you?
Let me love you.