I speak words of truth and wisdom
of a love that shall overcome
I look for what is real
behind the lies of all that is fake
to find what is left inside of me
of all you have left of me to take

I write a poet's page
that been played upon this stage
I walk in a dream I make
and remains when I am awake
this is all I can see
and all that I feel
leaving behind what we have made

I look beyond the present and past
through mirrors and stained glass
to see behind your mask you wear
you hide within this masquerade
as you pretend not who you're meant to be

At my heart you try to tear
reflecting through me my rage
like an animal you try to keep me
locked in this cage
but you can never break me
or what I have become
for I am always free
    Spiritwind ©2013

rolling a tulip.
gone.
eyes soft. heads nod.

walls of alabaster layered cave
hazy bodies litter rave.

i am folded: foldin rizla blue
first a pocket by lick the glue.

toast some bensons
add in some resin.

filled and build over tube.
sweet trick, the petal, dude.

small tribe makes the ground
that the tulip travels around

past where ***** lie
beside christian soldier
whose older and bolder
panhandling shames guy.

eyes lift from dirt to seat.
overflow shame is then
crammed in a telecoms pen.
salvations' hat sits complicit

with our gaze raised upto
other responsible 'sort'
whom donations taught
to be our virtue.

molasses with the stink of gangrene
blisters from the wound;
it will not run

foul slow swelling putrescence
of plasma and, past cells
can only be lanced

it will not run.

congealed crust of scab
and keratin strands
is shield for eyes
and, the point.

it will not run.

All was going to be all right
we were fighting all day but
that was over now
I walked you to work
and we both thought that would be a good new tradition
you even offered to buy me chocolate
but the idea of you buying something on the Lord's day was still a bit too much for me
walking back to your house was my first time in your city alone outside
my skirt swirling in the wind
I had promised to marry you and was trying so hard to make myself believe that was the right step
that wasn't fair but I didn't want to

lose you

I came home to find your door locked
the password of your laptop changed
your best friend randomly came by, and it felt like checking
if I obeyed all your rules

I don't want to write down this story
I want to keep believing
our love was good enough
until the end

So close to the end I made small talk with your roommate
I would convince you later that was okay
You shouldn't have been jealous
We ended up bonding
Sharing African music
talked about the books I read
his strange views on religion

It was the one evening
I didn't feel alone
It was the one evening
I could be myself

I thought I could live with you
in the country you hated
in the house that was falling apart
I thought I could fight your anger
Replace it with my love
If I just had one friend

With your roommate, i didn't have to force myself
to not see almost everything
I could finally be myself again
he wasn't forcing me to change me
I liked my own version better

I still don't know
why you left work
was it to check on me?
or should I believe the petty excuse I don't remember
but you were there
an angry monster
my lover gone
the hate had finally taken over
I wonder what you saw
what is this evening like from your perspective?
Were you just as scared when you started to shout to me?
Do you also still feel the grip of your strong hands around my wrist?
Did you sense then, how close we were to domestic violence?
Do you know, that whenever i remember that moment
I'm really scared of you?

I don't remember what you said
you were done
would take me to the airport
but that was it
I wouldn't leave
my return ticket was booked for months from now
after we were supposed to get married
Was I really that young last year?

You told me, that if I didn't leave
you would
that crazy scheme to leave the country illegally we fighted about so often
was still possible
you'd leave me alone in a country so strange to me
I couldn't even catch a bus

Instantly, I knew for sure
your roommate would keep me safe
and I was way to smart to be completely helpless
but I also knew it wouldn't be fair to ask
or to impose

around 4 am
your anger was cooling down
enough to tell me I could stay
but by then
we were waiting for the first bus to the airport
I was finally smart enough to not go back
I was smart enough to leave you

but three airports later
my head got all confused in the skies
My highest phone bill ever
hour long long distance calls
I couldn't leave you yet

You left yourself
your city and your country
fled (again) from your own life
became nothing but a not-working phone number
and an awful lot of unprocessed memories

it wasn't in the middle ages
but in the era of technology
the knight wasn't a knight
but his heart was warm and loyal and honest
and he found a princess he needed to save

the princess lived in a castle
he couldn't get in without a visa
nor pay the money to fly to her tower
but it was the era of technology
princess and knight could meet online

'some day',  the knight thought
'some day, she'll be my princess
but at least today
she'll be the queen of my dreams'

The only reason
your face stays dry
is: pillows can not cry.