all my life
has been spent in chains
I have never been happy
always shackled to some dream
that just seems to evade me

it seems this world just weighs
so heavy on my heart
I find it hard to cope
with the way that everything is run
it's wrong
people are wrong
and they know the way they are living is wrong
but still they persevere
they continue in this way
and attempt nothing that could make a change
it kills me
I feel so alone
so isolated
I do not fit in in the town I was born
I am nothing like these people
their meaningless lives bore me
I simply can not fit in because everything just seems so hypocritical
people all just seem so fake
At this stage I do not even wish to be like them
I couldn't even give in if I tried
they physically repulse me
friends lie
foes lie
politicians lie
managers lie
teachers lie
parents lie
siblings lie
men lie
women lie
everywhere you look
there is a veil
everything so clouded in deceit
from lies that parents tell their children to protect them
just another year of innocence
to lies in the form of empty promises some lousy government makes
when really all they are doing is adding buck in to their bank

Human Beings Lie
shamelessly
and without remorse
they lie to further themselves and noone else
greed and power clouds even the most sound of judgement
it is an illness reserved merely to man
do you see such rot in the animal kingdom?
is a dog dishonest?
it is not within their nature
they do not have the chip inside their framework
that human beings have
and throw around so effortlessly

how can people live
with such a sickness underfoot
such a deadly pox
seeping in our souls
societies built
on such shoddy foundations
someday surely must fall?
I'l push
without thought or remorse
let their castles fall
let injustice crumble
like the walls we have built around us
in an attempt to put us on a pedestal
but instead we have just got lost

people are being crushed
from weight they never asked for
being put upon their shoulders
from poverty
from hardship
from pain
years and years of pain
man has inflicted on one another
and continue to inflict each day
read the news
at any time
******
****
poverty
famine
racism
sexism
homophobia
all these civil rights
being trampled in to the ground
being kicked while they sleep
pain pain pain

if human being has the power
to cause so much pain
so much hardship
so much injustice on one another
then it surely has the power
to begin to right these wrongs
to make a difference
it is goal worth fighting for
worth dying for
because deep within my heart of hearts I know
I am not really living as we are

So I thought I would write a poem to tell you how much I miss you
It's a letter from my heart to yours
And I can sense the feeling
Rush from my head to my heart
Through my arm to the pen
To the page
You have not been gone too long
And you won't be gone much longer
But I can't stand a second without you

It's a funny thing you know
To feel the way I do
After all that we have been through
You still mean the world to me
I guess you always did
And you burst inside me
Like a thousand fireworks in my heart
Even after all this time
I reckon you mean more to me now than you did at the start
I still get that bubbling feeling
And your still always on my mind

I may have made a mistake or two
One bigger than them all
And guys really only get one chance with girls like you
And I have been blessed to get a second
But if you never let me go
I swear I will never let you down

Seeing is believing
And you are all I see
And when you begin to see your dreams
You must hold it with all your might

Hipsters really do amuse me
Do they not get
By being all nonconforming
Because they do not like the way the masses conform
They are in fact conforming.
They all dress the same and act the same
They like all the same music and they all grow ridiculous ****** hair
They are the height of hypocrisy
All they have succeeded in doing
Is creating another sect
Of complete and utter zombies
Who all act like they can't think for themselves.
Now tell me
How are hipsters any different?
To the norms they try so desperately hard
To separate themselves from

I have a lot of friends these days
so fed up with life
so ill at the very thought
that they must fit in with everything around
so angered that they strike out
in just about every wrong way
I would like to tell them this is not the answer
there is of course another way
they are so ****** about how
the world has run them in to the ground
when realistically they should count themselves lucky
at all the blessings that they have
this is the first world for Christ's sake
do we really have that many problems?

They think the whole world is out to get them
they are blue with paranoia
they feel that everyone is watching
everyone is judging
and most importantly absolutely everybody
is trying to drag them down
I think they are fools
to be quite honest nobody really gives a ****
how their lives end up
everyone else is too wrapped up in themselves
to really care about anyone else's

And these people that I talk of
they hit out
and they take out
upon the ones they love
and why?
who knows
they put on a merry face
for the outside world
a show
an absolute fraud that only their nearest and dearest can see
its pitiful
its sad

To be honest these people are losers
complete and utter dregs
from the gutter that is this life
teenage angst is one thing
but complete involvement in this grief is too much
can they not see how they are wasting their time?
that if they spent even a tenth of the minutes they spend moping
actually doing something some what constructive
they would feel a whole lot better
a whole lot more accomplished
and they would not end up hating everyone around
and more importantly hating themselves
as a lot of them end up doing

I guess these are first world problems
inflicted on our youth
infected from having too much time on their hands
from having so much given
for never having to work
it really is a pain
these god forsaken creatures
who expect fame and fortune
money and power
the whole wide world
the universe
and everything in between
to be tossed in to their hands
for no other reason
then they feel they are entitled to it

I feel sorry for these people
I swear I really do
For they will never feel content
They will never feel complete
And I worry that their lives will dwindle
that they will waste their youth in fiery rage
consumed within their mind
until nothing but ash remain

Every now and then I feel
I myself am going that way
and when I do feel like this
I sit
and I write
and I take the anger away
I will not let myself become these people
There is too much to have and to hold and to love
I will not waste my days

I'v a sick stomach
Aching through my lungs
There's pain burning within me
I'm always feeling down
Why can't I just feel up
I mean just this once
You are weighing down on me
Tonnes of you are keeping me awake
Your smothering me
A wet blanket in my sleep
You toil deep within me
And I am nothing to you
Only a drop in a sea
You don't even care
Your just in your mind
You just hurtle around me
You just hurt me
Sink within
Slip around
Leave it be
I'm coming apart
Oh god I think I'v lost my mind
One more time
This page is therapy
I'm going to rant it until my fingers fall from me
But the pain just will not leave me
I'm falling apart
I'm losing my mind
I am angry but I just can't channel it
Break me down
I am broken finally

Dusk dawn on me, so cold so cold,
a light sliver from the night I see, unfold,
and the coldest wind it blows on me,
as the sky seeps into black,
and the nervous sick inside of me,
holding itself back,
and I cant see in front of me,
and I cant see behind,
and I don't know where I'm going,
or the things that I will find.

Now let my ceiling turn to sky,
and let it darkened be,
and let the air run through my throat,
and rise me up to sea,
and everything is falling,
and I am losing time,
but the air is holding me,
and keeping me alive,
and as I rise I feel the stars,
start to swallow me,
and in the dark I felt my heart,
struggling to break free.

I think it's really kinda funny you know
the seats by the library window
all through the year they are empty
but just as the exams begin
they suddenly begin to fill up

Not that this is too much of a revelation in itself
you would imagine more people would be going to the library
in the days when exams loom large
like a creature hanging from your neck

No, what I think is funny is this:
there are thousands of seats in the library
and it is rare that they all are full up
so why do people always seem to flock
to the seats by the library window?

Now in my experience
there can be only few reasons for this
either they are really just looking for distraction
and can peer out the glass all day
at what every other week of the year
is quite frankly just **** and mundane

or maybe they just want to pretend that they are hard at work
in order to make themselves feel better
and have everyone see that their studying
they must love the idea of spotlight
to me they just look like a circus animal

All this is much to my amusement
but I must say my favourite thing
about the people who occupy
the seats by the library window is this:
the reaction you get when they emerge
from the cauldron they quite willingly let themselves stew
they always act like they have achieved so much
like their day has been splendidly spent
that they did so much study
that they know the worlds secrets

I just laugh and nod
I know the truth
if they really did know the worlds secrets
or were really quite serious about trying to find them
they would be away in the back in the quiet
with no distractions but their own brain
No, instead they choose
to let themselves rot
in the seats by the library window

So you landed in Thailand a few days ago
It was Thai new year so you were greeted with a water and clay fight
A few days later you went to Cambodia
And saw loads of temples and monks
You told me you had fallen in love with the markets
And its a completely different world where you are

You asked me what have I done
With the last week that you've been away
Well I said I have been to a funeral
The sun shined so I got all my drying done
I spent a few hours trying to study
Some things I could not care less about

You said you were happy to hear it was dry
But now you must head away
Your going to Kuala Lumpur tomorrow
And you could really do with the rest

Jesus I thought to myself
What am I doing with my life
Then I sat on my ***
Cracked open a can
And that was the end of that

Right now I have that feeling
You know the one
The one when your so down low
Your just scraping along the pavement
Oblivious to everything and anything
Just trudging along
Having lost sight of everything that matters
Where your whole world is confined by the depths inside your mind
In which you now find yourself
The feeling of being truly lost and alone
And no matter what anyone says to make you feel better
Your just too embarrassed to let them know
How really terrible it is
So you crawl and tremble
And crash and burn
In the fiery twisted hell
That your mental well-being has now become
A tidal wave of shock and hurt
Envelops your whole meek existence
And all around you the whole world burns
Like the doomsday is upon us
Crimson falling from the sky
And red red terror flaming through the night
But it doesn't seem to hit you
No, you just don't get it
Relationships, jobs,
Friends, family,
Your entire world falling to hell
And your just fixated
Stuck on one star

And it's not even shining.

can you see it now old man
all that you have done
and all that you have become
you have placed yourself upon the pyre
and willingly been set alight
and oh how you now burn
burn like your lust did burn when you looked upon another
was your heart set alight like your marriage has been
I bet it's now stone cold, your heart and your marriage,
and the trust she placed upon you.
The trust they all placed upon you
was seemingly was not enough to contain
your aching, sweating, heaving heart,
you have sold your life out
for simply seconds pleasure,
your lungs will fill and then deflate
but you are not alive any more,
you are but a zombie
mere flesh and guts and rotting luck,
she deserved a lot more
and you now deserve no less.

Yesterday they had a show on the radio
About how retired sports stars cope with the strain
Of adapting to normal life
After so many years in the spotlight.
I listened to this show
While gruelling away in my stockroom
Locked away at the top of the shop, on my own,
Feeling like Quasimodo or Frankenstein.

They talked of how it such a struggle
To go from everyone knowing their name
And being paid 600,000 a year
Or in a lot of cases a lot more
To suddenly becoming normal
And having to try and find regular work
At a regular plebs regular salary.

Apparently they lose their identity,
Well welcome back to earth I thought
No-one has an identity
Welcome back to the real world
Where everyone is paid reasonable salaries
Everyone works hard
No-one knows your name
And no, you are not special.

I mean really
The nerves of these people
They make more money in a year than most in a life
And then they complain about how they blow it all
Because they can't cope with being riff-raff like the rest of us
Did you know they have psychologists who train these sports stars to cope with mundane living?
They teach them basic tasks like how to tax their car
For Christs sake
I have been taxing my car on my own since I was 17
And now I'm expected to feel bad for poor Mr millionaire sports star
Who is finally getting around to it at a ludicrous 35
Outrageous, the whole charade
These people deserve nothing more than to be thrown out to the lions
The wilderness will teach them hardship
And show them their is more to life
Than their own inflated ego
And the world does not in fact revolve around them.

so it seems to me everyone in this world is chasing money
but it also seems to me that money equals power and/or responsibility
now sure power can be a good thing
but if your power tripping
then surely you will end on the floor.
as for responsibility
not now no thanks
I am only nineteen
I think I would rather wallow a few years longer in semi-poverty
there will be plenty of time for responsibility
when I have someone to be responsible for.

At risk of sounding boring mellow
That girl quite frankly is too yellow
Or maybe lets off orangeish hue
It seems i'v bitten more than I can chew

She may have swooned me with her shape
But there simply is no denying date
And if investigated further
The only way out must be ******

She's thrice the age of me and you
To do it frankly was the fool
But at the time it seemed such fun
To chance my arm with one older than most nuns

Now all of this is most exaggerated
But this situation must be deflated
This woman's years begin with four
And suddenly she's wanting more

An older woman seemed alluring
But now my interest is pooring
It seems I must run for the hills
For soon she will be living off just pills

My glory days were when I was in primary school,
Oh yes,
I was a very large fish in a languished pond.
I really was too big for my own boots,
oozing confidence, borderline arrogant,
occasionally over-stepping that line,
I was usually number one or close enough,
when it came to studies and sports.

But then I grew too big for that teeny weeny pond,
I embarked to unknown territory,
and the terrors of secondary school,
which as it turned out,
was in fact not a pond,
but a very large ocean,
and I soon drowned,
with the faint realisation,
that I was far out of my depth.
Oh yes,
no longer was I mister number one,
at sports or studies,
no,
I was left under no illusion as to how average I was,
and I came to envy and resent those who were no doubt better than I,
but arrogantly forthcoming about the whole affair,
just as irritating as I suspect I was,
when I was the king fish of the pond.

It just goes to show,
life comes in swings and roundabouts,
its up and down and spun all over,
wear modesty like a badge of honour,
you achieved while in duty in a very ****** war,
for modesty will set you apart,
modesty will make you human,
and you never know when you will slip,
from a king on a throne,
to a dog on the stone cold floor.

Grace is wonderful
Grace is kind
Grace lights up the darkness in my mind

Grace has character
Grace has wit
Grace is everything, every little bit

Grace has been there forever
Grace is my best friend
Grace will be with me always 'til the end

Drunken raging, anger fuelled,
Some youths fight in the night.
Scattered brains and dimming sense,
They are long lost since the light.

Pent up hate they keep inside
Bundles out after a drink or eight

Crimson red, one hits his head,
He clatters to the floor.
The stars within his eyes, once shone like the skies,
But they don't shine there any-more.

I do not really see the point in voting
They are really all the same either way
No matter who we put in
Same outcome
In this country anyway
I can't really speak for others
Like today you know
There is a budget
And the schmoozers in charge
They have been talking their usual **** in the build-up
Like how it is necessary to keep going
And it is for the good of the country
And it really is the peoples moral obligation to take these cuts
In order to get our country out of debt
Now that is all well and good
But these bandits are on hundred thousand salaries
I mean seriously
Its just so arrogant and demeaning
And its not like these people deserve their power
They only get where they are from licking ***
Or having a powerful father
Now that hardly equips you well enough
To lead a ****** country
They are all hypocrites
With nothing in mind except their own personal gain
One of our previous governments had a leader
Who claimed to be an accountant
But yet turned out to have no qualifications
And succeeded in bankrupting our country
We have had multiple forty stone health ministers
And in opposition we have a murderer
In fact a whole party
With links to the provisional IRA
And all this is going on and I'm just sat here thinking
Why would anyone even be bothered
I'd rather register to vote
Just so I could spoil my vote
By drawing a **** on it or something
Rather then give any ****** party the satisfaction
Of a vote in their favour

it comes creeping in
seeping through the night
plunging in a perjury
dimming all the light
deep within the dinge
this dark decrepit pit
clawing at the walls
my eyes they leak my fears
empty minded blathering
a curse upon my ears
a drop of blood that's poison tinged
an ever aching lump
my throat it dries to clay
and breaks away and falls
the night has got a hold on my
it's gripped inside my soul
I clasp my face
my hands they shake
a desperate depressed state
and from the deathly depths of despair
all I can do is wait

I'm so sick of working
It's melting what little brain is left between my ears
From the sheer monotony of lifeless work for 8 hours a day
To being looked cruelly down upon by managers
Who quite frankly have nothing to show that makes them any superior to you
It is quite frankly a gruelling and repetitive task
It really is like a slow hanging
It makes me wonder is it really worth it
The minimum wage I make is surely taxed with my sanity
I'm literally trading my marbles for money
By grinding my will in to the ground
This hell for leather lifestyle is compounded by the simple fact that to make it anywhere
In any aspect of life
Never mind just irksome jobs
Is not by being any good at what you do
No, that is simply half it
You must know the correct words to say
The right way to rub up your superiors
So they feel the need to elevate you a little higher
Off the rock bottom stone cold concrete floor
Of the career ladder you find yourself on
When you embark in to the world of work
My problem is I say No !
No Way in fact !
I will not pretend to like someone
I really am completely indifferent to
In order to make it anywhere
I swear it's just so fake
People should be judged on their ability
In that field of work
And their ability to contribute to productivity
Not judged on how much *** they can kiss
Not by who their father is
Not because they can **** talk
All of this nonsense in the workplace
Being crushed by fake people who think they are powerful
Because they have got to where they are by schmoozing
Has lead me to a complete sense of disillusionment
With the human race
I will not become another rat
Being trampled to death in a never ending race
Where your only respite is your death
Never ! I say Never !
I Refuse oh I Refuse !

I can't sleep at all
There's weight upon my mind
You're a black hawk
Sweeping through the sky
The door won't open
I'm trapped within these walls
You are floating
The motor sticks and stalls
Cut me open
Bleed me dry
Winter wounds pumping
Even the snowmen cry

Are you sleeping?
You should be in my bed
The window's open
Moonlight dances around my head
Have you been thinking
About me
Or are you certain
It isn't meant to be

There is a black hound
Creeping on the street
Panting is it's only sound
Along with heavy feet
My heart is speaking
It's screaming at your gall
Have you no feeling
Or have I given you my all

Chandeliers in my head
Chandeliers crash and hit the floor
Chandeliers that
Have never smashed before
Chandeliers in my head
Chandeliers crashing more and more
Chandeliers smash
Scattering glass across the floor.

I think I'm making things burnout
I think my clocks stopped
I got a round the world ticket but I'm half way there
I can't stop
But I lose control
Every now and then
I think my heart pops
Its an ongoing affliction
Every time it gets close
The needle keeps sticking

I went off the walls tonight
I threw the punch and lost the fight
I don't even think that I knew where I was
I'm drowning
And lack of sleeps holding
Everything I dream
Its not letting me in
Its not letting me out
As I build things up so high in my mind
Just to tear them down
I leave jittery foundations
Like butterfly wings
Just crushed in my hand
Like sand that sticks
And I don't know how far I'l go
But tomorrows another day
Just another to and fro
And I would love to just shut down
Put my brain on snooze
A few days of rest
But too much to lose
No rest for the wicked
This quicksand road that I'm trudging
Is just ******* me up
And spitting me out
This tightrope is killing me
My heart is stealing me
I just got to let go
I just got to learn to let go
Close my eyes and fall

I ran through the wood and the ghostly haze
While the rain billowed down between the trees
You were somewhere in the eerie green maze
With wooden fingers clutched around your knees
I had been alone for many a day
So long I had forgotten how to feel
A heart once smoldering now had turned to clay
Forever in a funeral suit marching to it's death knell
You had fallen from the tallest tree
And landed in the night as a shining star
The light through the dark was staring at me
And I knew that you weren't very far
  I found you amongst the foliage and with a sudden start
  You melted all the clay away and jumped my broken heart

This world is shame
It lurks beneath our bones
Rambling and roaming
Be it from your ex,
Your mother or your father,
Your brother or your lover,
Your friend or foe or other
We are so ashamed.

I can hardly speak
The words scrawl at my throat
When I see someone I'v loved and lost
Or even worse let go or let down
And it's all around
Didn't do enough,
Didn't try our best,
Left until tomorrow
What should have been done today

We live with so much shame
Lost causes, lost dreams,
Fleeting moments,
Pain and glory,
Every little weakness,
Every little thing our little heart urges us to feel
But we ignore or drown it out
Walls of sound and liquor
Wash over me but do not cleanse
I am a sweating *****
I feel like a pariah

Shame is such a peculiar thing
We carry it each day
Everybody everywhere
Has some amount of shame
I guess the trick to growing older
Or more so growing happier
Is to manage your shame,
Control it,
Not let it get the best of you

I don't really like birthdays
I guess I just don't like the falseness
Like don't get me wrong
Having people you care about
Show they care about you is nice
But it's this Facebook crap I really can't  stand
Like, I get hundreds of happy birthdays
From people I don't even know
From people who don't even know me
But even worse
From people who actually don't like me
They feel the need to put on this face
To pretend they care when they don't
I don't mean to be cynical
It's just my real friends will most likely call me
Or ad least text me personally
No, I have no time for the Facebook brigade
Jumping on a bandwagon
Just because you feel you will be frowned upon if you don't
From now on I'm boycotting birthdays
And removing my date of birth from these sites
Social media has ruined the thrill
Of getting a happy birthday
Off someone you never knew cared enough to remember

Writing is a passion
It fires within my soul
It leaps between my organs
It is what makes me whole

Writing is a maniac
Tearing me apart
Breaking all my boundaries
Screaming from my heart

Writing helps me say
Exactly how I feel
When nobody will listen
When everything's too real

Writing stops the insecurity
Gnawing at my bone
It backs me up an army
When I am all alone

Writing is a lighthouse
Burning in the dark
And when I feel I can't go on
I just look for a spark

You sit grey like an owl
But not near as majestic
Skin white like chalk
But eyes blacker than coal
I want to look away but I can not
Time paints a different picture
And fades throughout each day
The shawl you wear is ripped and torn
This room is dark
The air feels heavy like a funeral
As if a sound is struggling
Yearning to break out
But it can not
So it hangs in lonely disregard
Haunting the room
Engulfing who we are
I look at you
But I do not think you see
It is dark
The moth riddled curtain has not been pulled back in awhile
Are you lost?
In desolate dreams of better times
The clock ticks in a desperate attempt
To break the isolation
But I feel its growing louder by the hour
Looming inevitably
A battle cry
The end is surely nigh
The stomp of the gulf we all know is coming
Yet choose to ignore until the very moment it creeps up on us
And then it is too late
Look at me woman
What have you become?
Each breath is heavy like a smokers cough
This isn't everything you are
You lived and loved one day
I should know
I knew him well
It cuts deep but deeper still for you
Unbearably deep
Like the final fatal turn of the knife
I wish you cried.

If only tears could wash away the years that stain
the blanket of our being.

"hey kid", he said,
"why you so down and out?"
"you should start writing poetry", he said,
"channel your anger, vent your frustration..."
"build something beautiful from something so harsh"

"here", he said,
as he threw a book in my lap.
"read him", he said,
"let that man be your god and let that book be your bible",
"any old fool can write",
"and with enough anger in your pen...", he said,
"you can change the world!"

I looked down at the book,
and the name set in bold.
'Bukowski' it said.
so I took the book home and I read,
and that was the moment
my life changed forever

Just the other day
In the cold canteen
I was drinking black tea
Because the milk was was left out
And had turned to cream
When you arrived crashing through the door
Slamming as you usually do
Shouting around and making a fuss
You didn't seem to notice
You were too caught up in the bustle of the day
And quickly as you came you left
Spritely along your way
About ten minutes later you returned
Pint of milk in hand
Saying it was nothing
You had just noticed my tea was black
And you couldn't leave me like that.
Now such a small gesture may in many go away
Without the slightest recognition
But to me it meant the world
That was probably the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.
The smallest gestures are the best
They help people through the day
And you quite simply made mine.

Today as I sat in a lecture theatre
Gazing into open space
As a lecturer whose name I don't know
Droned on into infinity about a subject I couldn't spell
I really began to question
What lead me to where I am in the first place
It seems I chose this path
For all the wrong reasons
See sense and my own personal interests
Would lead any onlooker to believe
That what I should be studying,
And what I should no doubt be doing with the rest of my life
Is History and English
Yet each and every day I find myself
Drowning in a cesspool of indifference and sheer boredom
That I willingly threw myself into
I am in my second year of Computing
I know, you are wondering what on earth possessed me
To lead my life in such a way
That simply means nothing to me
Today I myself began to question
I guess I feel weighed down
By pressures placed upon me
Burdens I find too heavy
For my creaking shoulders to carry
In the world in which I'm living
Jobs are really scarce
Money is at and all time low
And all I see around
Is how much work there is in I.T.
There is so many jobs in this area
That they are unable to fill them
And so I made the decision
To forsake my own happiness
To pursue a dream I felt obliged to follow
I felt crippled by society
Influenced by what everyone around me thought
And it is only now I realize
What a terrible mistake I have made
To your own self be true
And you should follow your heart
You will spend enough of your days at work
You should do what makes you happy
You shouldn't bury yourself in with misery
Money isn't real
It does not mean a thing
And it can not buy you happiness
Besides
Do you really wish to follow
What those who think themselves better than you
Think you should follow?
Do whatever you see fit to do with your life
Not what anyone else thinks
Consider this, long and hard
Or else you may end up like me
Spending each day trekking to the gallows
I so willingly hung myself up for

I would run away with you
If I thought you would not leave me when we made it through

I would leave it all behind
If I thought you would always be by my side

I would give it all
Every aching drop of blood I'm spilling off my bones
I would take it all
Just to have you melt inside my arms

I'm a dreamer with a nose for nothings
I feel you drifting away

I'm a man with a cross on back
I'm crawling for redemption but its not for me

I'm a ship that's sailed too many seas
And your the waves that are crashing around me

I'm the eyes left in the blind
But your the blinding screaming in my mind

I would run away with you
If I thought you would not leave me when we made it through

I would leave it all behind
If I thought you would always be by my side

Give this seed another chance
Then bury me by that tree
Let the rain wash over me
Someday this dirt will set me free

I would run away with you
If I thought you would not leave me when we made it through

I would leave it all behind
If I thought you would always be by my side

I set out to write the gospel on growing up
But all I ended up doing was writing a testament to being ****** up

Our youth are being forced underground
The world is digging us a hole
And we are expected to simply just lie in it
As authorities fill us in
Today's universities are no-more centres of excellence
They simply over educate young adults
In areas with which they can not possibly hope
To create and flourish
Because there just is no opportunities
The government has hit the social welfare
And cut it down for under 25's
It makes you wonder
Just what choice we have
Other than to up and leave
The papers are full up
With stories of greener grass
In places far from this shore
Just this week the radio told me
Common unskilled labour earns 27 buck an hour in Canada
And in a country where a third level qualification
Far from guarantees you a job
And the government you elected
Cuts what little support you had to get you through
In the hope that in future years there may in fact be a job for you
You really would be mad not to up and leave
The reality of this state is it is very much diseased
The rot is spreading and evolving
And we are being wiped out
The only people who can change it
The young, angry, restless and innovative
Are dropping like flies
Moving away to better things
How can a nation shoulder such a burden
When our future is being burnt out
By old men who have had their hour
And who have quite clearly failed us all
We must give the young a chance
Our future depends on it

From the time you are barely able to walk
They tell you you must go to school
By the time you are done school
They tell you you must go to university
By the time you are done university
They tell you you must get a job
Once you get a job
They tell you you must settle down and have a family
Once you have a family
They tell you you must buy a house and pay a mortgage
Once your family has grown up and your mortgage is nearly paid
They tell you you must retire
But then ad-least by the time you retire
There will probably be no one left to tell you
How you are supposed to wait until you die

In days gone when I was younger
We rode a wave of discontent
Along the rails from Cork to Dublin
Dreaming of big city lights

But now I'm older all I can tell you
Is I feel Dublin is not enough
I want to go much bigger
I want to leave this land behind

At night I dream in winding streets
So vast you don't know where you are
And so many people all around
You can simply just lose who you are

I have been saving this dream away
For a far away day
When moneys not too tight
When I'm not afraid any-more

But until the day that I leave
Move away to bigger things
When I burn this town to ground
I'l leave the cage in which I'm held
And the cage within my mind
No this towns shackles will not hold me any-more

But until that day arrives
I'l just keep riding along that wave
Dreaming of big city lights
And another life that seems so far away

I have an exertion migraine
Its drilling away at my brain
Like a grenade popped behind my left eye
I may as well be going insane

The thing is I can't even *******
Have *** or go for a run
Without half my skull peeling away
Blood vessels blowing out like a gun

I have been in my bed in the dark
The best part of three stinking days
This poem is release it is art
Until I can break through this phase

They give us a study month in college
A free four weeks before exams
In which we are meant to prepare
And fill our reluctant heads with knowledge
So we can make it into the next year

Well this has been my first
And if I am perfectly honest
From what I have experienced so far
They may as-well call it the anti-study month

Or the drinking month
Or the party month
Or something along those lines
Good god !

All that this month has done for me
Is crippled me financially
And physically
You spend three nights a week on the town
And the other four lying in bed !

Then the night before your exams
You sweat away stones in your room
Trying to remember a year
When you can't even remember last night !

I am sat here before they begin
And all I can think to myself
Is how truly goosed I am
And how many exams I might fail !

To be honest the college would be much better
Taking this ******* month away
I'd probably remember a lot more
Because work would still be fresh in my mind

And though I am having a revelation now
I know in twelve months time I'l be back
And I'l spend study month the same
Doing absolutely nothing
Until the night before

I guess I have dug my own grave
I may as-well just lie in it
Fill me in boys
There's a lot to be done if I'm to make an escape

Hey Mister record dealer
Painting stories with your words
Drop some webs into my ears
And catch me in your lines
The hardest thing to do is feel
And you tell it better than I felt it

Run liquid tales in to my core
Watch my bones fill up with blood
Watch my heart swell up with stories
And my mind fill up with love

Hey Mister record dealer
Painting stories with your words
Let me lose my mind to you
And lose myself within your worlds.

The room is huge
It's aching with possibilities
The bathroom door left slightly ajar
Lets off a slit of light
The seems to light a path
From where you are
Straight to me
I can't wait until that door opens
And the light comes flooding out
Streaming through the room
And you fall out too
And tiptoe all the way to me
I feel almost meaningless in a room this size
A piece of furniture
No more alive than the bed I'm clung to
But I'm sure you can bring me to life
We can envelop this room
So why don't you just open that door
And make my anxious expectations
A shining bright reality

I have so much to do the world is catching up with me
Every day there is some new pressure
And nobody is beside me
My future lies within the balance
A ticking clock that sways
Which road will I take
Will I fall or fly
There is a woman in my dreams
She is keeping me alive
If I could only just hold her
Maybe then I can survive
Im struggling with some demons
I think they will eventually smother me
So I plan to work 14 hours a day
Keep myself so busy
My mind will be too tired to move
To think
To let them creep inside
I guess I am always running
Running away from what they want from me
Running away from what I want myself
Running aimlessly, blind
I am running not because I feel this is the correct way to run
It is just every other direction feels too hard
I am sick of being a joke
I want to be taken seriously
I wish to be a man
I need to take the lead

Broken and Unbroken people
should never be together
for the unbroken person
should not waste their time
trying to fix
the broken person
when really they should be looking for
someone who isn't broken at all.

Lonely in London
I feel you afar
A vessel half empty
A door-frame ajar
For a penny, a pound
I'm with you all way
Daylight is breaking
Together we'll stay

I'm falling apart
As you fall in love
Paper thin skin
You unfold in my arms
Left hand on tile
Right hand on spine
Lips upon neck
Your body on mine

We're not in love
We're just alone
Sometimes you need
Someone you know
This is not for forever
This is only tonight
When you're out of sight
You are out of my mind

I think I'm so blindly arrogant
I may just succeed
My anger at the powers that be
Are forcing me to the edge
And over in fact
I'm falling
But I swear this will be the last time I fall for you
If I cut myself on injustice
Then surely you will see
The pain that you are causing
The people you are victimizing
Our world is being rubbled
By bandits fuelled by greed
I say no I say never
Who will stand with me
We are in a choke-hold
A savage gruelling snap
We are being doped up and kept down
We must rage, rage on
Fight them back to the abyss from which they came
Our words will be our weapons
And our cries are growing louder

the girls a diamond
spilling from my veins
and shining through my eyelids
I am so ashamed
if I leave her down
but she doesn't mind messing with my heart

isn't it so strange
we are wearing broken hearts
on torn up sleeves
and I would leave it all behind for you
if you would leave it go for me

now she's crying in my arms
and her tears are dripping
they are crawling through the cracks in my fingers
and I can't stare anywhere
but count the notches on her spine

we are so close
you and me we were meant to be
from day one
and we are so alike
I feel you breathe within me
our pulse is one
and if you ever leave me
it would be like losing half my soul

we are losing time
and we're out of breath
we are smothering
from our expectations
from past pressures
tightening on our thoughts
and poisoning our minds
but that's OK
because I love you dearly
and you wont do this alone

Governments dumb down the nation
By educating in the wrong ways
Occupying our brain so we can not focus on what's actually happening
Where is the insubordination

Universities today
Are the graveyards of the future
For many with a degree that can not guarantee employment
They are a stun grenade to fresh faced passion

They have succeeded in forcing our eyes on the future
So we are blind to the present
A propaganda / distraction method
So they can go about their business

It is a brainwashing technique
They have nearly perfected
While our eyes were on another ball
They stole the one that matters

Future plans all sound quite good
But what about the now?
We could be dead tomorrow
Never mind in ten years time
While the dogs in charge
Are shafting us
And we are simply oblivious

Everyone is too comfortable
Relying on time to make a change
Rather than people
Today's minds are like a sieve
It may be just me but I can't spend
My life waiting to live

Come from a broken home
Love from you is like blood from a stone
Heart attack paste
All flicked at my face
Push the rock harder just to watch it roll

Open up just to see what your like
Risky business your a throw of a dice
Never know where you will land
Head in the sand
Shoot a man dead and they all bleed the same

Quick tongue and a poison stare
Fast trigger and I'm just a hare
Head way too high
Your lost in the sky
I'm just a fox and your a hound in the waiting

Feeling cryptic
Feeling empty
Feeling older
Feeling out of hand

Losing time
Losing face
Losing sleep
Losing my mind

Counting numbers
Counting sheep
Counting hours
Counting pills
Counting down the days

Im in prison
Im in orbit
On a desert
Im in no mans land

Nothing is bright
I see no light
Every day is a rainy day
Im running away
Running nowhere
Running out of time

There is a train on the track
But its not going home
Its going away
Far away
It will be unknown

They're going to get me
Its a matter of time
There is no way out of here

Its a matter of time.

Never trust a woman no,
For they will never trust you so,
As quickly lose an eye at first glance,
From birds of prey, a fickle dance,
And lose your mind in a minefield so vast
You will be torn apart from lack of chance,
And end up wondering where you have been,
And how you got here, and when and why,
This fruitless flower always draws you back.
An awkward match, were sorrows catch,
A ceaseless meaningless to and fro,
Oh never trust a woman no.

There are many people in this world
Who fall victim to their own weakness
It cuts them in the night
A curse that comes from blood
It simply must be within their upbringing
It must be within their nature
For just as their father and his father seemed to crumble and fall
They go and fall the same

Now they condone the actions
They know it is not right
But still when times are at their hardest
And there is nothing to show
But rotten core
Genes they come to light
Just like animals in the wild
When your back's against the wall
It is instinct that takes over

I do feel however
There must be a choice
If you see wrong
And you know wrong
Then you must choose not to act
Upon whatever urge is in your blood
Otherwise you are none better
Then fathers before
You swore to hell

I know many men
Myself included
Who fall victim to the sickness
Placed within their head
From years and years
Of habit
That generations took to brew

I have sworn I will never
Be the way it was
Be the way they say I am
I will be my own man
But still within my head I know their are some knots
You simply can not cut
Some locks
You simply can not burst
And they sit and they wait within you
And just as a dog Is loyal
From years and years of breeding
They will come to the fore

She has raven black hair
and trouble smiling
it falls weirdly on her face
when she poses for a picture
but if you catch her off guard with a joke
I swear it lights up the whole room
I love being around her
Or being her centre of attention
I could waste a life with her
She makes me feel like nothing
Tears me down, abuses me
But I don't care I love it
It just makes me want her more
She loves being in the spotlight
She's just loud and talks so fast
The first conversation we had I knew I loved her
I know her body would fit perfectly in mine
And I just want to hold her
I always have and always will
She has a scent that lingers
And I'm not sure if I like it
But I want it all over me
I think she feels above me
Like she's better
or else she tries to distance herself from me
Because she knows she likes me
and she does not want to get hurt
she wants to be wild and free
and worry about everything else in a few years
she loves to tease me
and when she leaves indefinitely she hugs me
and hugs me again when she returns
the first time I went there she told me she did not want to be a rebound
that I was just using her and she did not want to be used
I wasn't, I just did not know how to react
she makes me nervous and she scares me
and I just feel I'm not enough for her
When I am, I simply am
I just want to be the one to make her happy
to hold her every night
to take her in my arms
I must tell her.

Ashes to ash
We burn the day
The two of us
We run away

Along the ledge
Over the sea
Away away
You and me

Over the land
They will chase
Like ticking sand
We will waste

Under the sun
We cast away
A bleeding run
The clocks they prey

Millions of people in our way
Millions of people every day
We lose ourselves
And run away

I put our thumping hearts away
In a bullet box
They will stay

And there they sit
Pumping together
Side by side
In a metal sweater

Until the day
That we return
I'l place your heart
Back in its urn

And we will stay
As meant to be
Pierced cracks remain
But we are free

Repression breeds resistance
An imperfect insistence
We run away
And on the day that we come back
We'll show the world this aching crack
We run away