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DancingEntWrites Jun 2018
You say you love me
But I still just feel empty
So what do I do?
DancingEntWrites Jun 2018
You love me more when
I'm happy so I'll fake it
Just to see you smile
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
My whole life
I've never met someone who
Can love the way that
He can.
All that searching
Everywhere and
Love found me, unexpectedly.
Thought of this on the car ride home. I like acrostic poems. :)
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
Your breath
Fills my heart
With happiness

I'm just lying here listening
To it enter and leave your chest
Fantasizing about the days we have
The days we have to look forward to
The future that I want to build with you

You inspire me in so many ways
To love you better, harder, fuller
To rise to my potential every day
With every snore my heart flutters

You're a twitcher, too
Which makes me giggle
I often wonder what you're dreaming about
If we are hiking and you have tripped
If Bones has crawled under your legs
If Tucker has jumped on you again
If your brother has tackled you to wrestle
If you just dropped the weights at the gym

And I'm writing this now as you sleep
My arm tingling, about to join you
But I can't snooze
Thinking about the luck I have come upon
To be buried under the weight of your arm
As you're hogging the bed
Not realizing, just trying to get close to me

Lucky to have someone so in love
My arm is legitimately falling asleep. My pinky is tingling.
DancingEntWrites Apr 2018
I don't remember my life before you.
I don't know if I really knew how to breathe
before you walked in and took my breath away.
I don't know if I knew how to walk
before I learned to walk to the beat of your heart.
And it may sound cheesy
yes, it may be cliché
but I don't know if I knew how to talk
without your name being every word that falls from my lips.
Not being able to function without a person
labels another being "dysfunctional"
But, baby, that's how I was before you.
waking up every day
in a fog
you've cleared up.
never knowing where I was going
just through the motions
and now those motions lead me to you
at the end of every day
and I have something to look forward to
that isn't just another way to shut out the world
I have LOVE.
And I don't remember my life before you.
Just thinking this morning..
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
I have been told
"It's not who you think about at 2:00 AM
When you're lonely
It's who you think about at 2:00 PM
When you're busy"
But I think about you constantly
even when you're next to me
and I wonder how it is I got so lucky
for you to be this in love with me
Lucky in love. I'm kind of a sap.
DancingEntWrites Oct 2018
We say that things will change
But with little to no effort
They all remain the same.
You deserve better. I'm sorry. I'm finding it's better to stay quiet so I keep you happy.
Dad
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
Dad
You left before I arrived
So I lay awake at night
Missing a man
I've never met
Daddy issues like everyone else.
DancingEntWrites Dec 2018
You "raise your voice" until I cry
And then a little more
The man i couldnt live without
Has walked right out the door
You've been replaced by a man of hate
And i dont know what to do
To try to feel loved anymore
What am I even doing? It hurts. It hurts so much I cant breathe sometimes. That's why I walk away. I have to calm down, but I also have to breathe.
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
Set the world on fire
So we can build a new one
Together, for us.
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
You rub my feet when I'm sad
To show me you love me
Even though I hate them being touched
And I let you
Because I know what you're doing
And it brings me comfort
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
When she smiles
Everyone around her
Glows a little brighter
This is how I see myself sometimes.
I am the sun, I just need to remember.
DancingEntWrites Apr 2018
He's the one
That kisses my fingers
From base to tip
As if nothing so fine has ever met his lips
He's the one
That holds me at night
While he snores in my ear
And it's the sweetest thing I'll ever hear
He's the one
That stays up late
Talking about his dreams
And it's enough to make me burst at the seams
He's the one
I'll spend every day with
And still find myself missing
All his loving and his kissing
He's the one
I'm going to marry
And we'll spend the rest of our lives
Giggling
Laughing
Loving
Holding
Dreaming
Sighing
Crying
And falling in love all over
He's the One
Future Mrs. Something.
DancingEntWrites Jan 2019
I want to walk along the beach with you
I want to feel the splash of the ocean and look up at you
Sun beaming on your wet skin
And see you smile
I want to know that nobody could hold any more love in a smile than you do for me.

I want to be cuddled in front of a wood stove
In our tiny log cabin a-frame
In the dead of winter, both wearing flannels
With our feet snug in wool socks
Watching the giant snowflakes fall slow,
And be wrapped in your arms
Knowing that's the warmest place to be
And I want to feel that warmth in my heart.

I want to lose track of time
Just staring in your eyes
And feel the love coming back at me.
I want you to know I love you
And I want to know you love me.
Feeling sentimental. Feeling like we are falling back in love. Feeling good.
DancingEntWrites May 2019
I crave affection
and love
and tenderness
and understanding
and friendship
and compassion

A cup that once ran over
now is empty
and no matter how hard
I fight to replenish it
the fighting depletes the cup
and it chips and breaks
bringing it closer
to not being able to hold anything at all.
heavy heart, empty cup, futile attempts
DancingEntWrites Aug 2018
I am angry
I am hurt
I am sad
I am lost
I am looking
I am hungry
I am annoyed
I am tired
I am crying
I am shouting
I am vulnerable
But most importantly
I am loved
DancingEntWrites Nov 2018
Why do you only
remember you love me when
you yell me to tears?
DancingEntWrites Jun 2018
Is it worth it to
Hurt the one you love so that
Your hurting can stop?
Is it though? Asking for a friend.
DancingEntWrites Jul 2019
I will love you,
And I will love you hard
And deep.
And pure.

I will smile at you
With all of my love
When you laugh,
When you sing,
When you dance,
When you're kind.

And especially when you smile and cover your mouth when you're being shy.
But I know I will just look back with fond memories. At some point we will part ways, and any love that is was or will be between the two of us will become those memories we cherish well into our greys.
DancingEntWrites Jun 2018
I've never acknowledged my depression
And as soon as I do
BOOM
It's here
I want to die
But I dont really
I just want to stop hurting
And sometimes I just want to feel something
And right now it is both
My heart hurts and my body feels numb
Theres a pit in my stomach that cant be filled up
I feel like I'm void
Of everything but sadness
Like I'm a black hole for happiness
I used to be "happy"
But now I know it was just a mask
Because everything was buried
And now it's on the surface
And I just want it gone again
I want to pretend like I dont care that I dont have friends
I want to go back to when nothing phased me
I thrived on stress and I didnt go crazy
I was used to abuse so I was never really me
I had created my own alternate reality
One without **** and drugs and alcoholism
One where I didnt stand up and I just took the hate and criticism
One where I was sad all the time
But I was so busy pretending to be "happy"
That I didn't notice.
I'm grateful to be at a point where I can feel like I'm myself. But I'm also terrified because so many things are coming to the surface and I'm afraid you're going to run and hide. I dont want to lose you but I keep pushing you away and one day you're gonna say "I'm done" and that's it. My biggest fear will be realized ten-fold because I'll be without you and I'll die sad and alone.
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
You used to look at me like that
he whispered, as he stared at her
beaming at her new love
I never looked at you like this
She thought, as she saw him longing for her
Wanting to be embraced by her love again
My ex said I used to look at him the way I look at my boyfriend. But I never used to look at him that way because I've never felt what I feel now.
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
There's a chasm between us
And with every touch
it grows
It's obvious to me
That we are nowhere near
Where we used to be
The future we planned
Will never be our history
We've just grown apart
Separate in what we want
Separate in matters of the heart
You want to hold on
and all I want
is to

      l

e

    t

                g

                             o
Breaking up is hard to do. But remember to put your own happiness first.
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
Begging you, let go
Don't write, don't text, don't call me
I've moved on, happy
I'm sorry you're still in love and I'm sorry that you're hurting. But I have to do what's good for me and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life and I'm not letting go of that feeling, ever.
DancingEntWrites Jun 2018
And it's so hard to
believe him 'cause everyone
Else before him lied
DancingEntWrites May 2018
I make your life so
Much *******. Please just forget
Me, let me go
DancingEntWrites Apr 2018
Writing with my left hand
Because my right arm is asleep
Your head rests on my shoulder
And I lay here while you dream
I cannot make a move to ease
The tingles in my fingertips
So I silently count my blessings
And touch your forehead to my lips
He's asleep on me still and I couldn't be happier or luckier
DancingEntWrites Sep 2018
You tell me you love me
And I want to believe
But how could this be
When everything I do to help you
Seems to punish me?
I'll never be good enough.
I've known this my whole life.
But I thought maybe that changed
The day you made me your wife.
But I'm still alone.
Sitting in an empty house
Waiting for you to come home.
Let's see what we shout about now.

Our love has been broken
And I want to mend it
But every time I try
We just both get defensive.
I'm at a loss
I really don't know what to do.
How can I show you my love
When you don't even want me to?
My heart hurts daily
And I dont share it anymore.
I see the light in your eyes die
As soon as you walk through the door.

If it's me that's stolen your shine
Please tell me
You are the brightest of all the stars
And no one deserves to take that.
Have I been trying too hard?
And I've just made it worse.
I dont want to watch our love fade
Or roll away in a hearse.
I need us to be us again,
For the sake of being in love.
But how do we do that
When we fight so hard to be unloved?
I'm going through a tough time, emotionally.
DancingEntWrites Apr 2018
You know I've found that mirrors lie
when they tell you bad things
Mine tells me every day
that I'll never amount to anything.
It tells me my nose is too big
to pull of this piercing that I have
My eyes are too close together
And if you split my face in half
there is no better side
because they're equally ugly and flawed
I can picture my mirror telling me this
and leaning back to guffaw

But he's just a liar
and I've come to realize that now
because it's all the good reasons
my face would stand out in a crowd.
DancingEntWrites Nov 2018
I miss the love we used to share
Like autumn winds wisping the leaves
making me feel at home
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
Coming home to you
Does not keep me from missing
You throughout the day
It's seriously getting harder to say goodbye.
DancingEntWrites Jul 2018
In these days of
Feeling like we are wrong..
Wrong for having feelings
Emotions
We are told that we must always

BE HAPPY

Get a good job
Wife
Husband
Life
Kids
House
Car
Truck
And let's not forget all those toys we have to have in our kitchens, living rooms, and attached garages.
The latest game
The biggest TV
And anything that is the latest generation of Samsung or Apple

If you have all of these things, it is guaranteed: you will be happy.

But here is the FLAW.

You aren't happy because you dont have all of the things society says that you should have to be happy.
Once you get these things, society just replaces all of these things with new things.
Newer games
Bigger TV's
And of course!
The latest generation of anything Apple or Samsung
So what is the point of striving for all of these things when it is never going to be enough?
Something will always be better than what you have.

Unless you choose for it not to be.

You have the decision before you to be HAPPY.
Enjoy what you have.
The right game
The right TV
Apples in the fridge and *** is Samsung?

Once you stop worrying about being what society wants to be and be who you want to be

Isn't that happy?
Rantinnnggg
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
You have a decision to make

The voices keep echoing
Nagging
Clawing
Shouting

You have a decision to make

Her voice says it first
Then yours
Then mine

You have a decision to make

But I’ve already made it
I just need to let myself
Know
I was at a point where I had to choose between someone I had loved for years and someone I had loved for minutes. It was stressful, but not hard. Because from the first day I knew what I was going to do, but I hid it from myself. I finally allowed myself to acknowledge my decision, and I've never been so happy.
DancingEntWrites Nov 2018
I wish I was beautiful

I wish "make-up is just for fun"
Wasn't a lie

I wish I wasn't so anxious
all the ******* time

I wish I didn't think about killing myself
every single night

I wish my husband
wasn't the only thing keeping me alive

I wish I wasn't depressed
I wish I had more drive

I wish that I believed
that I can actually do something in my life

I wish I didn't worry
About what others say

I wish we still had that love
that I miss every single day

I wish I wasn't holding back tears
typing this whole thing out

I wish things were different.
I wish I brought you happiness
I wish I didn't think you were obligated
I wish I made your heart full
I wish I wasn't so down
I wish I didn't have to control everything
I wish I could just let things go

I wish I still had a therapist
that would tell me what to do

I wish I didn't have to hide my tears
So I don't shed them in front of you

I wish I was good at writing
It's something I've always loved to do

I wish I could look in the mirror
and find a much better view

I wish I didn't feel like I was broken

I wish I could pick a style

I wish I didn't hate rhyming

I wish I didn't think you were mad at me all the time

I wish I didn't keep having nightmares

I wish my medication worked

I wish I could get a grip

I wish I could handle what life throws at me

But here I am writing a wish list that I'm anxious will just sound like I'm complaining about life and not show how terribly anxious and depressed I really am.
Help.
One
DancingEntWrites Apr 2018
One
They say it's the loneliest number
But how can that be true?
I feel lonely here
And there's 50 other people in the room.
You see there's this monster
and he's got his claws around my head
He doesn't guide me or yell at me
He just tells me I'd be better off dead.
Who would really notice?
Would anyone really care?
Yeah they'd sit around a vigil.
Yeah they'd say a little prayer.
But who would really notice the empty spot
here in the room
When there's 50 other people
and the only one missing is you?
Depression is a *****.
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
I get embarrassed when you read my poems
And you know they're about you.
I get shy and nervous and scared you'll run away.
I don't have the words to say
How much I love you
But I try when I write to you
Things I think you'll never read
And then you see them and my head spins.

Is it too much? Can you love someone too much?
Is my love intimidating? Probably.
There's a lot of it to give.
But if it's intimidating to you then maybe
You don't deserve it.
Maybe

Are you overwhelmed by your love for me, too?
Never have I loved someone with my whole heart before you.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
DancingEntWrites May 2018
You picked up pieces
Everyone else smashed, and you
Filled the gaps with you.
You put all my broken pieces back together and made my heart bigger adding yourself.
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
Pinky-promises
Of forever love are my
Favorite night cap
A haiku from work thoughts today.
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
I read these poems of beauty
of love compared to other things
used in analogies and metaphors
But I can't do that with this love
because it's unlike anything I've ever known.
DancingEntWrites Apr 2018
I don't pray often
But when I do, I thank God
For giving me you
I really don't pray often. I don't know what I believe in. But sometimes, just in case someone is listening, I say a little thank you for putting him in my life.
DancingEntWrites Nov 2018
I dont want to be
Your verbal punching bag. So
Please just set me free
DancingEntWrites Nov 2018
Whatever I wish that you would do
I will do to you
That way you feel my love
And maybe you'll show it too
We've got this.
DancingEntWrites Feb 2018
I hear of the walls
others have built
to keep you out
but you knocked mine d o w n

I'll let you in
and we can build
our own Safe Haven
I push people away a lot. I don't let them in.
Someone special though, has knocked all those walls down
And I couldn't be happier that he did
DancingEntWrites Jul 2019
You coulda just said no
Instead of leaving me in limbo.
If you're too scared, say it.
I'll make sure I leave the door closed.
Dating is dumb
DancingEntWrites Dec 2018
Maybe she got tired
Of waiting for you to love her
So she went off and found someone
That wouldn't let her stay down
Self looooove. Shes the someone.
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
I get sensitive sometimes
and I don't know how to explain it
one interruption can break my heart
and make me not want to speak again
a story of a past love fills me with dread
and I wonder if thoughts of her still dance in your head
I often think, in these sensitive times
that I'm not enough
for you
for work
for school
but most especially for you
and it makes me want to cry
it scares me and has me thinking of my mother
she got like this sometimes too
but she never addressed it and never asked for help
she didn't ask her love for patients
and he left her
so please be patient with me
as I figure out why and how
to deal with all this sensitivity
Please know that I love you and I'm not trying to hurt you
Please know that I'm hurting, myself
and I don't know how to fix it
Please help me find the staples and glue
to put myself back together
so that I can better love you
Sometimes I get really sad for no reason and then take it out on the one person who is always there for me. It isn't fair, I'm aware of that. I don't do it on purpose, or maliciously. It's just what I'm used to and I'm learning to break the cycle.
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
Play with my hair
as I fall asleep in your lap
to the sound of your voice
telling me how great our future will be
Really want this right now
DancingEntWrites Jun 2018
I'm not easy to
have conversations with when
I just want to stop
DancingEntWrites Oct 2018
You force yourself to
Love me and I'm sorry that
You're trapped in marriage
Sorry
DancingEntWrites May 2018
But think about the freedom
You won't have to listen to me bicker
You won't have to deal with me getting upset
about every. tiny. thing.

Sure you might be sad,
but just imagine how much easier life would be
not having to impress me
not having to do things for me
not having to be my only support

Sure you might be sad,
but think about how much lighter
your shoulders will be without my burdens
just feel them all lift, and never return

Sure you might be sad,
but some day you'll realize your life is better
some day you'll move on and you'll forget me
just think about the freedom.
Totally didn't cry while writing this
DancingEntWrites Mar 2018
There's a cat living in my head
and he's redecorating.
Clawing at the sides of my skull,
tearing down the wall paper that was there.
But he doesn't seem fond of putting up something new,
just wants to leave the gouges so the pain can seep through.

He doesn't travel far.
To the back and then the front again,
but he never strays to the left.
He hugs the right wall of my head
like he'll die if he tries to leave
Just digging new trenches as he goes

When he feels really inspired
he gets a hammer and
BANG
BANG
BANG
new places that throb and throb for hours
never leaving me at peace
but he's happy with what he's created

I've been told there's a piece of metal I can get
to lock him out, keep him out, and throw away the key
some people say it worked for them and I'm just hoping
that it also works for me
I get migraines a lot. It *****. I have one right now and I'm also sick with a sinus thing so I'm just miserable
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