We spent the night
Interrupting our kisses with laughter
And looking into each other's eyes
Too afraid to tell the other
What we desperately wanted to hear
You coulda just said no
Instead of leaving me in limbo.
If you're too scared, say it.
I'll make sure I leave the door closed.
Dating is dumb
I will love you,
And I will love you hard
I will smile at you
With all of my love
When you laugh,
When you sing,
When you dance,
When you're kind.
And especially when you smile and cover your mouth when you're being shy.
But I know I will just look back with fond memories. At some point we will part ways, and any love that is was or will be between the two of us will become those memories we cherish well into our greys.
I crave affection
A cup that once ran over
now is empty
and no matter how hard
I fight to replenish it
the fighting depletes the cup
and it chips and breaks
bringing it closer
to not being able to hold anything at all.
heavy heart, empty cup, futile attempts
No matter how much
You show someone you care
The blind do not see
You could shine as bright as the sun
But if they're in a bunker
They will never feel your rays
Feeling pretty low
I want to walk along the beach with you
I want to feel the splash of the ocean and look up at you
Sun beaming on your wet skin
And see you smile
I want to know that nobody could hold any more love in a smile than you do for me.
I want to be cuddled in front of a wood stove
In our tiny log cabin a-frame
In the dead of winter, both wearing flannels
With our feet snug in wool socks
Watching the giant snowflakes fall slow,
And be wrapped in your arms
Knowing that's the warmest place to be
And I want to feel that warmth in my heart.
I want to lose track of time
Just staring in your eyes
And feel the love coming back at me.
I want you to know I love you
And I want to know you love me.
Feeling sentimental. Feeling like we are falling back in love. Feeling good.
We only see each other
Through pixels on a screen
But the way you live your life
Makes me want to scream
Once beautiful and pure
You've given into drugs
And now your arms are too thin
To give out your famous hugs
Eyes glossed in every picture
It's enough to break your heart
Your smile and your aura
Were once a work of art
And I know that you are struggling
It's something we all do
I hope someday you reach out
And stop destroying you.
Old friends die hard.
Maybe she got tired
Of waiting for you to love her
So she went off and found someone
That wouldn't let her stay down
Self looooove. Shes the someone.
You "raise your voice" until I cry
And then a little more
The man i couldnt live without
Has walked right out the door
You've been replaced by a man of hate
And i dont know what to do
To try to feel loved anymore
What am I even doing? It hurts. It hurts so much I cant breathe sometimes. That's why I walk away. I have to calm down, but I also have to breathe.
Whatever I wish that you would do
I will do to you
That way you feel my love
And maybe you'll show it too
We've got this.
Why do you only
remember you love me when
you yell me to tears?
I dont want to be
Your verbal punching bag. So
Please just set me free
I miss the love we used to share
Like autumn winds wisping the leaves
making me feel at home
I wish I was beautiful
I wish "make-up is just for fun"
Wasn't a lie
I wish I wasn't so anxious
all the ******* time
I wish I didn't think about killing myself
every single night
I wish my husband
wasn't the only thing keeping me alive
I wish I wasn't depressed
I wish I had more drive
I wish that I believed
that I can actually do something in my life
I wish I didn't worry
About what others say
I wish we still had that love
that I miss every single day
I wish I wasn't holding back tears
typing this whole thing out
I wish things were different.
I wish I brought you happiness
I wish I didn't think you were obligated
I wish I made your heart full
I wish I wasn't so down
I wish I didn't have to control everything
I wish I could just let things go
I wish I still had a therapist
that would tell me what to do
I wish I didn't have to hide my tears
So I don't shed them in front of you
I wish I was good at writing
It's something I've always loved to do
I wish I could look in the mirror
and find a much better view
I wish I didn't feel like I was broken
I wish I could pick a style
I wish I didn't hate rhyming
I wish I didn't think you were mad at me all the time
I wish I didn't keep having nightmares
I wish my medication worked
I wish I could get a grip
I wish I could handle what life throws at me
But here I am writing a wish list that I'm anxious will just sound like I'm complaining about life and not show how terribly anxious and depressed I really am.
You force yourself to
Love me and I'm sorry that
You're trapped in marriage
We say that things will change
But with little to no effort
They all remain the same.
You deserve better. I'm sorry. I'm finding it's better to stay quiet so I keep you happy.
I used to write about love
But it feels like we let the magic die
Because all you do is apologize
And all I do is cry
Nevermind we live our lives in fear
Of the thoughts inside our heads
We hold on to love so near
With a quick peck before bed.
Where did we go wrong, my love?
Why did we let it go?
All I ever imagined for us
Was love that would endlessly grow.
But now I'm awake and you are not
Because I cannot quiet the fears
That the love you once had for me
Is gone before we reach one year.
You'll read this and tell me I'm wrong
And maybe you'll be a little right
But if I'm all wrong
Then tell me
Why is it we always fight?
You know I'm not good for you
You say you're not good for me
And no matter how hard the other fights
We are both inclined to disagree
Walls we let each other tear down
We have now built back stronger
I just cant see how you want to stick around
I'll be amazed if you stay any longer.
My love for you will never cease
But I understand if you want to leave
Because being with me is never easy
And I've been told love should be a breeze.
I do not know how I'll go on
But I know I'll find a way
Because if you leave me for a better love
I'll know you're happy at the end of the day.
I'm never good enough. It's my own fault.
Everything is wet, like my temples
Reaching out for a hand to hold but
Even if I could find one I would
Slip out of grasp and
Sever that connection because
Everything is black and I'm
You tell me you love me
And I want to believe
But how could this be
When everything I do to help you
Seems to punish me?
I'll never be good enough.
I've known this my whole life.
But I thought maybe that changed
The day you made me your wife.
But I'm still alone.
Sitting in an empty house
Waiting for you to come home.
Let's see what we shout about now.
Our love has been broken
And I want to mend it
But every time I try
We just both get defensive.
I'm at a loss
I really don't know what to do.
How can I show you my love
When you don't even want me to?
My heart hurts daily
And I dont share it anymore.
I see the light in your eyes die
As soon as you walk through the door.
If it's me that's stolen your shine
Please tell me
You are the brightest of all the stars
And no one deserves to take that.
Have I been trying too hard?
And I've just made it worse.
I dont want to watch our love fade
Or roll away in a hearse.
I need us to be us again,
For the sake of being in love.
But how do we do that
When we fight so hard to be unloved?
I'm going through a tough time, emotionally.
Isnt it funny
You always hear about couples who have ******* up
"Their only chance at love"
For the dumbest reasons
And here we are. We both know our issues
We both have them.
We both try to help each other
But if it's wrong then we snap
And now you're three feet away
But I miss you like you've been gone an eternity
And we fight fear with anger
Instead of love
Losing who we are in the process
I am angry
I am hurt
I am sad
I am lost
I am looking
I am hungry
I am annoyed
I am tired
I am crying
I am shouting
I am vulnerable
But most importantly
I am loved
I'll try to worry about you less
but I can't make any promises
because when someone holds
your entire world
just in the palm of their hand
you worry that they'll forget
and drop it
and you'll be left with your world
sitting there shattered on the floor
In these days of
Feeling like we are wrong..
Wrong for having feelings
We are told that we must always
Get a good job
And let's not forget all those toys we have to have in our kitchens, living rooms, and attached garages.
The latest game
The biggest TV
And anything that is the latest generation of Samsung or Apple
If you have all of these things, it is guaranteed: you will be happy.
But here is the FLAW.
You aren't happy because you dont have all of the things society says that you should have to be happy.
Once you get these things, society just replaces all of these things with new things.
And of course!
The latest generation of anything Apple or Samsung
So what is the point of striving for all of these things when it is never going to be enough?
Something will always be better than what you have.
Unless you choose for it not to be.
You have the decision before you to be HAPPY.
Enjoy what you have.
The right game
The right TV
Apples in the fridge and *** is Samsung?
Once you stop worrying about being what society wants to be and be who you want to be
Isn't that happy?
You ask me who you are
and I am left speechless
Because words will never describe
The you that I see.
You are someone who asks questions
You boldly go where no man has gone
You are a person who stands up for the right
But keep an open mind about what that may be.
You love with all your heart
but you still keep it guarded
You have a laugh that fills a room
Because it is boisterous and beautiful.
You feel deeply and stronger
than anyone I have ever known
Yet you still have the ability
to help others when they need you.
You are human
but the most extraordinary.
You don't pretend or strive to be perfect.
You are you.
And though you have not accepted it yet:
You are beautiful
You are wonderful
You have a soul that glows brighter than the sun
You are hilarious
You are loving
You are kind
You are smart
You are selfless
You are beyond loved
But the thing above everything else that you won't let yourself see...
YOU ARE IMPORTANT
Some people need the reminder. Especially that person I love more than anything.
I'm not easy to
have conversations with when
I just want to stop
You love me more when
I'm happy so I'll fake it
Just to see you smile
You say you love me
But I still just feel empty
So what do I do?
I've never acknowledged my depression
And as soon as I do
I want to die
But I dont really
I just want to stop hurting
And sometimes I just want to feel something
And right now it is both
My heart hurts and my body feels numb
Theres a pit in my stomach that cant be filled up
I feel like I'm void
Of everything but sadness
Like I'm a black hole for happiness
I used to be "happy"
But now I know it was just a mask
Because everything was buried
And now it's on the surface
And I just want it gone again
I want to pretend like I dont care that I dont have friends
I want to go back to when nothing phased me
I thrived on stress and I didnt go crazy
I was used to abuse so I was never really me
I had created my own alternate reality
One without **** and drugs and alcoholism
One where I didnt stand up and I just took the hate and criticism
One where I was sad all the time
But I was so busy pretending to be "happy"
That I didn't notice.
I'm grateful to be at a point where I can feel like I'm myself. But I'm also terrified because so many things are coming to the surface and I'm afraid you're going to run and hide. I dont want to lose you but I keep pushing you away and one day you're gonna say "I'm done" and that's it. My biggest fear will be realized ten-fold because I'll be without you and I'll die sad and alone.
Is it worth it to
Hurt the one you love so that
Your hurting can stop?
Is it though? Asking for a friend.
And it's so hard to
believe him 'cause everyone
Else before him lied
I make your life so
Much *******. Please just forget
Me, let me go
But think about the freedom
You won't have to listen to me bicker
You won't have to deal with me getting upset
about every. tiny. thing.
Sure you might be sad,
but just imagine how much easier life would be
not having to impress me
not having to do things for me
not having to be my only support
Sure you might be sad,
but think about how much lighter
your shoulders will be without my burdens
just feel them all lift, and never return
Sure you might be sad,
but some day you'll realize your life is better
some day you'll move on and you'll forget me
just think about the freedom.
Totally didn't cry while writing this
You picked up pieces
Everyone else smashed, and you
Filled the gaps with you.
You put all my broken pieces back together and made my heart bigger adding yourself.
You know I've found that mirrors lie
when they tell you bad things
Mine tells me every day
that I'll never amount to anything.
It tells me my nose is too big
to pull of this piercing that I have
My eyes are too close together
And if you split my face in half
there is no better side
because they're equally ugly and flawed
I can picture my mirror telling me this
and leaning back to guffaw
But he's just a liar
and I've come to realize that now
because it's all the good reasons
my face would stand out in a crowd.
They say it's the loneliest number
But how can that be true?
I feel lonely here
And there's 50 other people in the room.
You see there's this monster
and he's got his claws around my head
He doesn't guide me or yell at me
He just tells me I'd be better off dead.
Who would really notice?
Would anyone really care?
Yeah they'd sit around a vigil.
Yeah they'd say a little prayer.
But who would really notice the empty spot
here in the room
When there's 50 other people
and the only one missing is you?
Depression is a *****.
I don't pray often
But when I do, I thank God
For giving me you
I really don't pray often. I don't know what I believe in. But sometimes, just in case someone is listening, I say a little thank you for putting him in my life.
I don't remember my life before you.
I don't know if I really knew how to breathe
before you walked in and took my breath away.
I don't know if I knew how to walk
before I learned to walk to the beat of your heart.
And it may sound cheesy
yes, it may be cliché
but I don't know if I knew how to talk
without your name being every word that falls from my lips.
Not being able to function without a person
labels another being "dysfunctional"
But, baby, that's how I was before you.
waking up every day
in a fog
you've cleared up.
never knowing where I was going
just through the motions
and now those motions lead me to you
at the end of every day
and I have something to look forward to
that isn't just another way to shut out the world
I have LOVE.
And I don't remember my life before you.
Just thinking this morning..
The only thing
I've ever known
in my whole life
to be true
is that I'm
in love with you.
Lately I've been feeling like you need reminders that I'm all yours and you're all I want forever. So I'll say it over and over again until I'm sure you know. And then I'll keep saying it so you never have to wonder.
Writing with my left hand
Because my right arm is asleep
Your head rests on my shoulder
And I lay here while you dream
I cannot make a move to ease
The tingles in my fingertips
So I silently count my blessings
And touch your forehead to my lips
He's asleep on me still and I couldn't be happier or luckier
He's the one
That kisses my fingers
From base to tip
As if nothing so fine has ever met his lips
He's the one
That holds me at night
While he snores in my ear
And it's the sweetest thing I'll ever hear
He's the one
That stays up late
Talking about his dreams
And it's enough to make me burst at the seams
He's the one
I'll spend every day with
And still find myself missing
All his loving and his kissing
He's the one
I'm going to marry
And we'll spend the rest of our lives
And falling in love all over
He's the One
Future Mrs. Something.
I get sensitive sometimes
and I don't know how to explain it
one interruption can break my heart
and make me not want to speak again
a story of a past love fills me with dread
and I wonder if thoughts of her still dance in your head
I often think, in these sensitive times
that I'm not enough
but most especially for you
and it makes me want to cry
it scares me and has me thinking of my mother
she got like this sometimes too
but she never addressed it and never asked for help
she didn't ask her love for patients
and he left her
so please be patient with me
as I figure out why and how
to deal with all this sensitivity
Please know that I love you and I'm not trying to hurt you
Please know that I'm hurting, myself
and I don't know how to fix it
Please help me find the staples and glue
to put myself back together
so that I can better love you
Sometimes I get really sad for no reason and then take it out on the one person who is always there for me. It isn't fair, I'm aware of that. I don't do it on purpose, or maliciously. It's just what I'm used to and I'm learning to break the cycle.
I read these poems of beauty
of love compared to other things
used in analogies and metaphors
But I can't do that with this love
because it's unlike anything I've ever known.
Coming home to you
Does not keep me from missing
You throughout the day
It's seriously getting harder to say goodbye.
Set the world on fire
So we can build a new one
Together, for us.
I've never known this kind of love before
Hand holding in the grocery store
Smiles across the way while you're working
Not getting angry at your snores
Laughing during ***
Dreaming of seeing sunrises with you
Staying up to see the sunsets
Not caring about punctuality
(Okay maybe a little)
Wanting to be with you at 3:00 in the afternoon
Drinking coffee staring at the ocean
Thinking any date was the best date
Truly being happy
I've never known this kind of love before
I'm writing a lot about love... I've got good inspiration
I can feel it
The warmth of your fingers
Filling the chill
Of the crevices between my own
Wrapping around the back of my hand
Your palm embracing mine
Like I've never known
I often excuse
But now I know they've just been sleeping
Waiting for the warmth of real love
To wake them up.
Thank you for showing me how to accept the fire that is touching you, just with a grasp of my hand.
Fills my heart
I'm just lying here listening
To it enter and leave your chest
Fantasizing about the days we have
The days we have to look forward to
The future that I want to build with you
You inspire me in so many ways
To love you better, harder, fuller
To rise to my potential every day
With every snore my heart flutters
You're a twitcher, too
Which makes me giggle
I often wonder what you're dreaming about
If we are hiking and you have tripped
If Bones has crawled under your legs
If Tucker has jumped on you again
If your brother has tackled you to wrestle
If you just dropped the weights at the gym
And I'm writing this now as you sleep
My arm tingling, about to join you
But I can't snooze
Thinking about the luck I have come upon
To be buried under the weight of your arm
As you're hogging the bed
Not realizing, just trying to get close to me
Lucky to have someone so in love
My arm is legitimately falling asleep. My pinky is tingling.
You rub my feet when I'm sad
To show me you love me
Even though I hate them being touched
And I let you
Because I know what you're doing
And it brings me comfort
There's a cat living in my head
and he's redecorating.
Clawing at the sides of my skull,
tearing down the wall paper that was there.
But he doesn't seem fond of putting up something new,
just wants to leave the gouges so the pain can seep through.
He doesn't travel far.
To the back and then the front again,
but he never strays to the left.
He hugs the right wall of my head
like he'll die if he tries to leave
Just digging new trenches as he goes
When he feels really inspired
he gets a hammer and
new places that throb and throb for hours
never leaving me at peace
but he's happy with what he's created
I've been told there's a piece of metal I can get
to lock him out, keep him out, and throw away the key
some people say it worked for them and I'm just hoping
that it also works for me
I get migraines a lot. It *****. I have one right now and I'm also sick with a sinus thing so I'm just miserable
My whole life
I've never met someone who
Can love the way that
All that searching
Love found me, unexpectedly.
Thought of this on the car ride home. I like acrostic poems. :)