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A tribute for those I've loved and lost to this sick battle...

Mental illness isn't a joke
It's a reality
It stares you in the eyes
Until you pay attention to her gaze
Her perfect
Crystal clear gaze

She gnaws at your existence
She begs and
pleads for your attention
Listen to your anxiety
Why are you like this
What is wrong with you
Your skin
Your body

Theres something wrong with you
Yes I know ******!!
Can't you see it in my eyes I know
I'm filled with fear
And tension
And this inability to love again
Because fear gnaws at my every whim

Desire to speak out
Is hushed
By illness

Mental illness is real
Mental illness is breaking down
Without even a whisper
And nobody knows the pain inside

Mental illness is seeing something ugly
Mental illness is hating every inch of yourself
Mental illness is giving up
Mental illness is a reality
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Youllneverunderstand me
On nights like these... I miss you
I miss your poetic zest
I miss your broken touch on my skin
I miss the powerful, intense desire I had
For you...
For your mind?
I miss the obsession I had
With your lips that burnt my skin
With your fingers that delicately caressed my tears away
I miss your tranquil breathing beside me
Oh God, I miss him
And when we fell in love...
I couldn't quite decide what to do with these
Overwhelming feelings in my heart
The way your touch makes me feel alive
The manner in which you place your lips on mine and I experience life for the first time
You are mine
And I am forever yours...

You speak about us
As if we are infinite
There is no end to us
You plan to be mine forever
And, God, I wouldn't mind waking up to that glorious smile for the rest of my life
You say, in five years... We'll be planning...
You have faith in us
You want me
You actually want my tired soul
And worn eyes
And I want you...
I want your bad moods
I want the blistering cold
I want dark nights filled with your warmth
No matter where life takes us
I want you to be my forever
I will be here
I will stand by you for us

My forever...
I'd never thought I'd find such love so young...
Oh, God, Let it be.
Quite a romantic outburst...
tell me what it is you want
and trust me, i'll listen
if you jump, I jump
i'll make truth out of all your wishes

i can be anything
the shelves that hold your favorite books
the blanket that wraps around your skin
the mirror that tells you how you look

just tell me, and i'll be

i can be the warmth that you need,
a safe place to come home to
i can be the winter wind,
lifting you off your feet

i can be the sun that touches your body,
take me all in
i can be the light that guides you,
follow me

i can be here
and i can be yours
and if you let me,
together we could rule the world
Strolling in the dark freezing night
on streets frozen and crushed,
we talked under the moonlight
and cracked jokes all the time.
I sensed an awakening inside
like the Devil was rapturing my mind.
It was pleasing, sensible, yet
I knew - it was an ugly lie.
I love another, I well remember,
but I can’t stop staring,
staring at those deep brown eyes...
Part of my "Somebody" collection of poems, this one is more personal. Enjoy!
I don't know if I'll ever be able to say the word
For what you did, or even spell it out in any language.
Then again, perhaps I've been shouting it through so many
Forms of communication that I let it out every time I breathe.
Maybe it's the way I flinch under my lover's touch;
The way I never let my own body come to her, how it freezes, waits for her first.
How I see your face in every remotely-threatening figure,
And I see their faces, your minions, in the smaller figures that surround you.
Sometimes it's hard to see myself as a survivor,
When sometimes, the only reminders that I'm alive are nightmares.
How their movements shake me awake,
And I can still remember how you taste.
There are times when it tastes like ash, because I burn the memories
With the fuel of self-destruction and I sweat myself to sleep.
Maybe it's that, half the time, I see masculinity only as a devil,
And the other half, it's a quality so far removed from my being
That I'm not really sure if I can call myself a man
Without being at least half a liar.
Some people live their entire lives without ever seeing the light
Not because they can't, but because they refuse to even try
Don't stay in the darkness
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