It's not the fact that I don't wanna be loved.
It's the simple fact that I'm scared to love.
"I don't wanna get attached to anybody"
Constantly reminding myself daily of what you said
Every time I feel the need to fall for you deeper, it tunnels my vision. years, months, hours spent crying trying to forgive the one I still talk to till this day
Trust issues that I still hhave today.
Hours , Minutes , seconds, it took for me to like you
when it took you weeks to recognize me,
The sentences you say and the way you look at me , reminds me of why I only want you.
Too early to catch feelings but I know one day they'll leave
Not because of you messing up, just because my heart blocks anything that wants to care for me.
Several years spent and wasted because of the pain from several broken hearts
Leaving me heartless & cold, mostly giving up hope
Looking me in my eyes made me feel weak and worthless.
But don't stop. I don't want you to
It makes me feel so good & as if youre really happy to be around me.
Suffering from the shift of my mindset,
I feel as if you'll leave and never look back.
Reason why I don't want to **** yet.
It'll make me fall for you & get attached.
Scared I'll become too sensitive for you to handle, and you'll leave.
Why do I feel that you're only doing this Because I won't leave .
Get what You want then you'll leave.
Make me fall in love then you'll leave.
Care for me but then leave.
Like you're only doing this because I want you too, like you did for your ex.
I want you to keep it real with me
Regardless of the curiousity that weakens your mind wondering if it's going to make me upset.
Maybe I've been craving this attention for so long that I rush the process .
Get one . Then leave. & wonder who's next?
But be upset when you find someone better & move on
Just don't wanna get heartbroken playing in this game of "love"
Not even love. Just the subject of feelings
Just don't want to lose you because of me overthinking.
Reason why I'm scared to talk to you about what's on my mind .
I think I'm feeling you more than you're feeling me.
I don't wanna rush you into anything you're not ready for
It's just I'd rather you stop it now , instead of putting me through the stuff I've been through before.
But then again I got to the point where I don't wanna see you with anyone else .
When you wrap your arms around me, it's make me feel as if I have worth.
Then when you kiss me, it makes me want to be with you even more.
Then how you talk to me & play around with me makes it so much better.
You're just so perfect .
Your smile. Face. Hair. Body. Personality.
When you ask me if I can make my knees touch my elbows lol
Or when you tell me how beautiful my smile is.
You make me so happy.
I just wanna enjoy it while I can,
Before everything comes to an end .