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Jun 3 · 168
It Still Hurts
CTB Jun 3
It’s doesn’t hurt when you shout.
It doesn’t hurt when you scream;
When you throw hate in my face
Because I can still dream.
There’s no pain when you make me cry
Not even when I hope falsely
But it still hurts sometimes
When I see you happy without me.

I can handle when we fight.
It’s okay when we don’t talk.
You can say you hate me all you want,
Because I just can’t run before I walk.
But with your hand on her thigh
And your eyes all over her,
I won’t ever let you see it,
But it still hurts.
I said I didn’t love you anymore... I lied
May 12 · 170
Not Enough?
CTB May 12
Am I not good enough
Will I never have the strength
To stand within your army
Or must I stand beside your enemy?
Could I never be bright enough
To shine as a star
In your lonely night sky
Or must I cloud your vivid days?
Is my hug not warm enough?
My kiss not soft enough?
My love not strong enough?
To be enough for you.

Am I not strong enough
To rest your heart on
When it is too heavy
For you to bear alone?
Is my mind not as good
Or strong
as to lift your thoughts
When they drown your mind?
Is my world not yours?
Can you not breathe my air?
Or do you choose to stay away
When I change it for you?

If I altered my world
Despite the terms
Of my own survival
Just to ensure yours
Would I then be enough
For you to stay?
Could I ever be yours?
The reason for your smile?
The sparks in your eyes?
My loss: your only fear.
Or I am destined to always be
So near and far from enough?
May 11 · 116
The Hard Days
CTB May 11
There are going to be days
That will be harder than most
Days spent drifting through life
As hollow as a ghost

Those days where all you want
Is to lay in bed where it’s okay,
Where it’s always warm and safe;
And yet you pull those sheets away.
You rip off the layers.
Each adding more weight to your chest,
But you still refuse to turn back
To your bed where you can rest.

There will be some days
Where you can hardly swallow,
And eating will make you sick
For a day or two that follow.

But what’s important is you.
Your body soul and mind
And that you have the strength
To leave that voice behind.
And, sure it may catch up
And bug you from time to time.
But you’re strong enough to walk away;
A strength that’s so sublime.

There will always be times
Where you want it all to stop.
Where you want to take the pocket watch
And smash your ticking clock.

But think of each day you lived,
Or rather each time you survived
The battle against yourself
On the war-fields of your mind.
You’ve fought off with each demon
Enough to last your years,
And sure it may have been hard
But even clear blue skies shed tears.
I figured I would try something a bit more optimistic
May 11 · 75
CTB May 11
She’s smiling.
That soft smile,
Like a whisper of hope
In a world drained of light.

She’s laughing.
A mix of all kinds,
Like a chorus of bells
After the church wedding.

She’s speaking now.
Her voice,
Like a sail or a stream of smoke,
Caught up in the wind.

Here he comes
His strides,
Like ticks of a time bomb
Set within her peace.

She’s silent
Her mouth,
Like a vault full of riches
Is in lock-down.

She laughs,
But it’s bruised,
Like the bulged knuckle
Of his left ring finger.

She smiles,
But it is dull,
Like their worn rings clashing
Upon their linked hands.

They walk away,
Neither happy,
But she will stay in those arms;
the ones that grip her too firmly.
So this is about a toxic/abusive relationship incase it was clear.
May 11 · 130
My Drive
CTB May 11
Pain is my drive.
It fuels the fire inside.

Tears are the glue
That stick me to what is true.

Bruises are my friends.
They tie up my loose ends.

But Numbness is pain,
And it is driving me insane.
First poem... not sure if it’s good enough

— The End —