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Spitz Nov 2018
I want you.
Like the balloon wishes to fly,
I want you.
Like the birds need to sing,
I want you.
Like the soil craves the rain,
I want you.
Like the fire demands its oxygen,
I want you.
Like the mountain looks for the clouds,
I want you.
Like the flower waits for the bee,
I want you.
Like the page desires to be turned,
I want you.
Like the waves run to the shore,
I want you.
Like the moon waits for the night,
I want you.
With every part of my soul,
I want you.
Spitz Nov 2018
I know I am not an easy person.
I know I overthink it all.
I know I can be insecure.
I know.
But I promise you,
while it is hard for me to accept it,
I will give you love
with every part of my being.
I will love you
with a passion and fierceness
that will make you wonder
where I was this whole time.
I will make you forget
every imperfection you have,
because I love all of them.
I will comfort you
when life draws your tears.
I will care for you
like the sun cares for the earth.
I will try to be everything you need.
I may not be very good
at being loved,
but I promise you,
I am good at loving.
Spitz Nov 2018
And in the end
all I want
is to take it back.
I want to take back,
every time I let my lips touch yours,
every time I let you see me smile,
every bubbling laugh I gave you,
every time my skin touched yours.
I want to take back,
every text I sent you,
every conversation we shared,
every thought I devoted to you,
every secret I handed to you,
every emotion I felt.
All my time,
my loyalty,
my efforts,
my vulnerability.
I bared myself to you,
gave you a part of me,
and I don’t know if
I can ever get it back.
If I could do it again,
if I could take it all back,
I would.
Spitz Nov 2018
You missed out
on one badass queen
who would have given you
her entire world.
This queen never needed saving.
She never needed you
and she sure as ****
didn’t need your ****.
But she wanted it.
She wanted to give you herself
and to accept every piece of you,
but you missed out
on the best thing that
could have happened to you
because you're too selfish.
And she got over you.
Spitz Nov 2018
For the golden hair in a pony
so I can see my enemies better,
for the stormy grey eyes
that hide so much,
for the stretch marks
that map my fights.
This one’s for me.
For every time my chest has collapsed
with the pain of heartbreak,
For every time my fist has punched the sky
as I defied yet another barrier designed to crush me,
for every time I smiled
when anyone else would have broken.
This one’s for me.
For always giving so much,
for always working so hard,
for always loving so deeply.
This one’s for me
For every breath I’ve yet to take,
for every song I’ve yet to sing,
for every word I’ve yet to write,
for every mountain I’ve yet to climb,
for every life I’ve yet to touch,
for every ounce of love I’ve yet to give.
This. One. Is. For. Me.
For who I was.
For who I could have been.
For who I am.
For who I could be.
For who I will be.
This one is for no one else
but me.
Spitz Nov 2018
I can’t tell you.
Of course I can’t tell you.
There are so many reasons why.
Because it will terrify you,
the hurricane inside my head.
How it obliterates everything,
twisting and turning me around.
I can’t put that on you because
you will feel like you can fix me,
like you want to help,
but you just can’t.
Because I know I don’t deserve you.
Because I can’t let myself
crush you with my heavy soul.
Because you will cut yourself
on the shattered pieces I am in.
Because I’m selfish
and I don’t want to lose you.
Because I hate myself.
I want to tell you,
Oh how I want to tell you.
I want to tell you
like I want a drop of water in the desert.
But I cannot
because no matter how thirsty I get,
I would rather die shielding you
from the scorching sun,
than watch you run away from me.
I cannot tell you
because I am terrified
that you will see me
the way I see myself.
Spitz Nov 2018
I wish I could fight it;
What I feel for you.
I wish I could stop it;
the way my heart swells
when I see your face.
But I have no control.
You take it from me.
I fall into your eyes
every time they look at me.
I die a little bit
every time I hear your laugh.
If I can make you smile,
I soar above the clouds for hours.
I want to give you all of me,
I want to give you the world,
the galaxy,
the universe.
Your perfection steals my voice
every time.
Oh how I wish
I could control my heart.
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