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I'm not in this for your heart
I want your mind

The way it teases all my senses

Ripping me apart through subtle motions
and pretending that it never thinks about me


I've been removed like a cancerous tumor
and I think I understand
But I sill can't stop myself from falling deeper and deeper into this seemingly endless facade

We so quickly jump to harsh judgements and conclusions
but do we ever truly examine ourselves?
Or is it always just a comparison constantly leading to the other person automatically being wrong?

I took my ticket for this ride a long time ago, not realizing how far it was to the next stop
And I'm wondering when I'll finally land in the place I've been trying to reach
  Oct 2016 Crystina Holency
Susan Jacob
Standing in front of the mirror,

She saw traces of her mother.

Neither as thick as leather;

nor soft as the flowers of heather.

Few minutes passed...

In her mind,emotions crashed.

memories hatched,

nothing matched.

Few hours passed by,

tears slowly saying bye

a face still marked with a sigh

but her self esteem was high.

For she knew that life would go on

but,everyday she gave a struggling moan.

She loved to be cared but,sympathy had long been gone.

She seemed to be struggling on her own throne.

She believed in God,

because,everybody worshiped the lord.

but now she seemed to doubt the strong hold,

she turned out to be too bold.

Is it a mistake or not she'll see

one day all her remorse would leave her free.

Independent of any plea,

Full of glee,

From this treacherous land she'll flee.
Crystina Holency Jan 2016
I was a lost broken soul,
Living in my own miserable world.
Drifting from place to place,
Couldn't keep up with the pace,
Of all the chaos around me.
Then he came along,
He was like no other.
My own knight in shining armor,
But his armor wasn't so bright.
It was dark like my soul, for he too had a dark past.
He brightens up my day.
His eyes glimmer with happiness.
His heart beats with love for me.
Our souls become one, when we are together.
He is my world, nothing else matters.
We mend each others hearts.
He makes me whole, makes me feel special.
I feel like I can take on the world,
With him by my side.
He is my Joker, and I'm his Harley Quinn.
Together we can win this battle.
  Oct 2015 Crystina Holency
Mike Essig
"I'd strike the Heavens if they struck me!"* - Ahab

Dear god, just a few questions
(I know how busy you are):

Where were you when the stray bullet
found the skull of the little girl
in the sandbox at the playground
(another drug deal gone wrong)

-Were you smelling your flowers?-

or when the machetes flashed and
loped off the hands of the tribal others

-Were you admiring one of your sunsets?-

I know you have never ever visited
the Balkans where men were lined up
and forced to watch their mothers,
wives and daughters being gang *****

-Maybe you had a cold then.-

and I never caught a glimpse of you
in Viet Nam where the ****** fell
like your gentle rain on the innocents
and my partner was cut in half
by a burst from a 40 caliber machine gun

-Were you cutting a ribbon at a new cathedral?-

or later when I went mad and ended up
committed, in jail, alone, broken

-Temporary deafness?-

or when my brother was set up and busted
by a corrupt attorney general
and when my mother died a horrible
long slobbering death by Alzheimer's

-More busy days?-

so I guess I only really have one question:

exactly what good are you?

   ~mce
Crystina Holency Oct 2015
What am I supposed to do?
Am I inlove with you?
I'm not sure,
I don't quite understand the meaning of love.
You say you love me, you care for me..
But how can I be sure...
You treat me like ****..
You have changed, we have changed..
I don't think this will work..
I worry day and night, wondering if you'll be alright.
I just want to cry..
This is not how relationships are supposed to be..
Crystina Holency Oct 2015
"Who are you?"
Those words pierce through me like knives in my heart.
Wish I could help you remember.
You are different now.
I do not recognize you, even though I "know" you.
I don't understand how you can be so close to someone and then they not have a clue as to who you are.
It's so painful.
I hope I will get you back.
Things will never be the same.
I don't want to lose you...again..
I want to help...
But how?!?
Just something I jotted down. Not too good with words. My close friend and used to be boyfriend has short term memory lost. He doesn't really remember who I am, and he doesn't really remember anything about us, besides what his cousin tells him. :/
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