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moon 1d
why should i be here?

it feels like a question that's been planted inside my head for years and years. i ask myself this question during my darkest hours.

but it becomes clear to me when i see you. you, a light, a light that never fails to make me want to stay. looking at you, that answer disappears. not answered, but disappears.

but you aren't there all the time. i end my days alone and once again, that same neon light lights up my room, keeping me from sleeping, keeping me from even imaging you.

i sit facing that sign, tilting my head as if it'll give me answers if i stand differently. it doesn't.

in my darkest hours, i cry. the plans i had for the future: the apple farm, the cafe, the bakery, the dogs and cats, everything, it all seemed pointless and far away.

but eventually, with a flicker, the sign goes dark and, once again, i'm given a break from everything, from myself. eventually, i'll be okay again. eventually, i'll remember that the reasons i'm here are to love...

and of course, making sure i have the apple farm, cafe, bakery, and dogs and cats.
moon 1d
i can clearly remember the sound of sneaking out the front door,
how i would close my eyes when i very, very slowly shut it,
making it seem like if i squeezed my eyes tighter, there would be no sound.
the fresh air is like no other.
looking up at the streetlight lit sky,
i started to run.
first, down my street
then, down the park trail in my neighborhood.
i kept running,
with tears in my eyes.
these secret hours felt like i was truly Free.
in these hours,
i could be anyone i wanted to be,
i could make a story in my head as to why i'm out here at three in the morning.
i sat on the neighborhood slide as i watched the sun rise.
eyelids getting heavier, i tried with all my might to watch the sky change.
moon 3d
last night, i asked god to forgive me,
i asked every god and the universe to forgive me for what i was planning to do.
my face hot from holding in sobs,
i held my hands together,
i brought my forehead down to them
and on my knees,
i asked for forgiveness.
  4d moon
empty seas
i leaned on the fence
dandelion in my hand
and as i blew it
away
i whispered


i wish
to forgive

i want to let go
moon 4d
i broke out in sobs.
everything was tinted the most beautiful yellow from the setting sun.
the windows were halfway rolled up,
i screamed.
i couldn't help but pull over and hold myself.
i hugged myself so tightly
until it began to feel like it was your arms.
winter aid - the wisp sings
moon 4d
the shadows grew taller and i watched as the sun slowly yet gracefully fall back into the earth.
before it was completely gone,
i remember seeing its light being cast upon the ocean waves in front of us.
glistening and shining,
something that i don't think i could capture on camera.
we sat there,
not saying a word to each other but we understood everything.
the tips of our shoes became damp from the calm, crashing waves
hugging us.
the tips of our fingers touched and all i could do was close my eyes.
doing this, i relived
Us.
  7d moon
Mark Kelley
“Partners “

Partners,
     Until the stars fall
Partners,
         Hear the wind call us
Partners,
           See it written in the sky

Charted,
       It seems our lives have been
Charted,
        Since the very day we
Started,
     To make our journey through this life


Anywhere it will lead us
      Every phase we go through
     I’ll be here beside you
Until we reach our journey’s end


Together
Like stars within a constellation
Until we reach our destination
Until our last card has been played


Anywhere it will lead us
      Every phase we go through
     I’ll be here beside you
Until we reach our journey’s end


                                         Lovers,
    Before our paths crossed we were
Lovers,
   Our love has been alive forever
    And will be ‘til the end of time
    And will be ‘til the end of time
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