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I want so bad to be with you
You say you want the same
But every time we’re together
You cause me so much pain

I want so bad for things to work
Despite what people say
I love you more than ever
But all you cause is hate
We lie
We cheat
We steal
He forgives
He loves
He heals
Frightened by my own actions
Why am I this way?
I sleep with you
I sleep with him
To keep the worries away
And while I know
The feeling won’t last
I beg for it to stay
Because I’d rather be
With you
Or with him
Than in my own dismay
Jump into the lake
The voices say
He’s waiting for you, Grim
He says:
Jump, you can’t swim
Too tired to get out of bed
The bathroom is too far
Let me lay
Let me day dream
Let me sleep
Concentration at lowest bar
Untouched pile of work
Looser fit in my jeans
Thoughts consume my head
Get me out of this scene
New loss is about
Abandoned in the cold
Culpable for lack of independence
I anticipated to fold

Lying here without you
Seems to help me mold
Into a deep serenity
Of when my youth was told
cryingforhelp Oct 30
Into a deep abyss I sink
Struggling to cope
Consuming alcohol, I need to drink
I dream to float
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