rustic brain calls upon late a night, wishing things will be done by the breaking of dawn.

oh, how i wish these sleepless nights could end in a spur. for years i have calculated, but have not documented those hideous moments to ever enter my sight. everywhere i look, a bickering thought arrives as if a group of chattering teeth lines through my mind when i'm suppose to be at rest.

in this shallow moment, let this end.
in this shallow moment, let's stop crying silently in our bed.

and as the morning rises, we could see brightly of the horizon. forgetting it for awhile until it crawls through at night. an unending cycle that causes a lot of fright. as if our brains lingers to the thought too tight.

rustic brain will soon heal
or so, or just life's haunting thrill

every book has its own story to tell. but ours are way behind the bookshelf; untouched, unread, and all dusty. its rotten roots had crumpled and seizes to the temptation of dying. yet, here i am, trying to find the perfect ink to fill this pen. if i try other inks, our story would smudge and would turn out to be messy. i would still try to write even though there are smudges all the way. i still try to pave the perfect story that you and i would find it interesting. and trying for you does not matter. so here we are— untouched, unread, and all dusty.

you've read my words
and count them
a waste of time
cause your life's a lime
what a shame
to contribute
relaying the pettiness
and silliness
what a pity
care to share my sighs?
cause i've counted them too
my existence is a mere reminder
of your silliness
oh what a pity indeed
why try pulling of your sleeve

and if you see me

cruising in the depths of unknown. it's cause i was seeking for the thing that you were looking for. you tried to look unto others the uniqueness that i cannot even fathom. you've given up your smile to those people who were unworthy to see you happy. they'd replace with pain that you'd still long to keep. but, how dare i to conquer this? it's cause i was selflessly caring for you while you keep dragging yourself to the fools.

look.

we both know that I am nothing to you. but you are something to me. I am just a speck wandering yet you make me sparkle out of nowhere. you touched my weeping heart with your ecstatic hands that tickles to call out being alive. but, you've touched so many, I thought I was special. or was just that feeling that people crave and you sought to fill those but not to me. I linger away that fuzz for I know it was only temporary. I better have the coffee I have every day. It gives the same feeling but it lacks you anyway.

an appalled
complexity
wished to be
converted
by happiness
and soulful
thoughts

she carried
the heaviest
weight of
unease that
people would throw
with the foundation
of unfaithful bliss
wished to be sowed

rough edges
and pathways to cross
she swore to herself
they are not
a big loss

thoughts boggled in
as your heart thumps within
the silent waves that only you can hear
the walls have glistened as the voices arrived
it was out of nowhere
you'll feel the motion; petrified

I've sense your symphony
It was her you linger
I couldn't see what was missing
that you left me unwanted

I couldn't sense the certainty
Is it all a web of lie?
questions summed up
rolled up to one;
was it all true or is it just to let my heart fly?

my heart is aching
from the fall that wasn't caught
I do not know
If I should've fought for it or was right for letting go

I wonder how they see you
how they describe the great you
would they see things like I do?
would they say what I would I say?

I say you're a flower
gently dancing in the fields of beauty
I say you're a violin
you fiddle away the unwanted mellow in my life

would they see that? I hope so
In my heart you're more than what you are
I see you, clear and bright
with beauty ignite

I've seen the bright new colors of tomorrow
because you're in it
I see wonder and hope everyday
because you gave me the will to fight
I wasn't the best
yet you choose me
so I manage to control the hues
ordinarily, you set them up
but I should contain everything
to keep things at its finest
uncertainty glued in every surface