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Sep 2020 · 191
Blur
Gracie Sep 2020
Alterations in perception
Leads to involuntary self-deception
Is this a dream
Is this reality
What if I am really dead
My sanity's hanging by a thread
I miss having clarity
Being able to differentiate
Am I lucid
Or delusive
I miss being able to truly say
I had a good day
At this point I'm not sure what I know to be true
I just know that I'm tired of trying to push through
And if anybody can hear me
Please help me understand
I'm lonely and scared
Can someone please
just hold my hand?
Only way I can describe my derealization
Jul 2020 · 266
"F*cked Youth"
Gracie Jul 2020
We are the youth
Full of "fcked up kids"
Up to "no good"
Trying to "f
ck with you"

We are the youth
That wants something new
"Live in this world
But have no clue?"

You try not to see
What we could be
If you would stop making us bleed

We fight for our lives
'Cause we're nothing to you

Just walk in my shoes
And see what you do

I'd rather be part of this youth
Than stuck in a loop
Of narcissistic views

"No one is safe with these kids on the loose
Trying to take the world from you"

Listen to us now
We are the youth
We are the youth
that won't be subdued

We fight for our lives
'Cause we're nothing to you
Just needed to let some thoughts out on what is happening in the world right now.
Apr 2020 · 182
Decaf
Gracie Apr 2020
Slowly options are being restricted
My body tells me I just can't
I must find alternatives to my habits
And I just wish that you could understand
It may seem trivial
To mourn something so little
But its not as simple as it seems
I'm angry
I'm sad
I feel helpless
As this illness takes more away from me
Sometimes I just wish I could do things everyone else can.
Apr 2020 · 184
First Appointment
Gracie Apr 2020
Its 2 am gotta figure out what to say
How do you tell a stranger about the secrets you lock away
Should I tell them about the days
When I feel ******* great
Like I'm on a high
That could last a lifetime
Or how it quickly it stops
And makes my heart drop
Has me feeling like I'm getting torn apart
Cause I'm not sure if they'd get that
Or tell me that I'm just mad
Now its 4 am
Don't know what I am
How do I explain so they understand
Do I bring up how it feels
To not know who's you
Like I'm trapped in a body
And I can't tell what's real
But on the flip side
I can feel completely alive
It's as if I'm on an everlasting ride
But I'm not sure I will survive
Would they understand that I'm done
Or just send me to some asylum
Apr 2020 · 160
Not your dream
Gracie Apr 2020
I know who I am
And I'm not sorry for that
What's troubling is where your head is at
Who cares if I'm with a woman or man
Whether or not they have a **** in there pants
What matters is how our souls attract
How we fit like a puzzle with no doubt that we match
Its not like I suddenly changed
Its still me not a creature so strange
I understand its not something you planned
I am who I am
And I can't change on your command
I wrote this the night I came out to my family and was proceeded to be lectured on how I was going to hell. This was what I repeated to myself that night as I fell asleep.

— The End —