I set an empty plate on the other side of the table
I’ve been expecting her all day, the least she could do is show up for dinner
I pour her some wine, I know she hates red
I write a card and lay out some flowers in case it’s something I said

It’s growing late so I lay out all of the dishes
I eat alone and my hopes diminish as I play our song with no one there to hear it
I even made mashed potatoes, her all-time favorite
I put the wrapped box with her name on it where I know she’ll see it

I end up drinking both glasses
Hell why not the bottle
Another year has passed and I can’t bury the sorrow
Of the choice she made not to wake up on the ‘morrow

Is it my fault she left?
She said I just wasn’t enough this time
But I tried my best
I’ve never been able to get the guilt off of my chest

Please excuse me if I’m loyal to you in every aspect
And think that your mind is what deserves my respect
If I hold you in high esteem because of the opinions you hold
Instead of the sight my eyes behold

Please excuse me if my self-esteem takes a hit
Every time you call another girl fit
If my heart breaks and I can’t help but condemn
All the comment you make about them

Am I not beautiful to you?

I used to think addiction
Was something that you brought upon yourself,
Something you chose.
I thought a drink here and a puff there
Then you were hooked

I thought addiction
Was something to numb the pain
Not something that caused an ach in your chest
That made you feel like your lungs had collapsed
And broke you a little more everyday

I didn’t think Addiction
Would come with a heartbeat
And a voice telling me they loved me
Everynight before I went to sleep
With soft skin and a crooked smile

But it turns out Addiction
Can make your heart soar
But it always leaves you wanting more
Obsessed with the next time
You can get your fix

I never thought Addiction
Would crash into my life,
Leave me helpless as I was swept up in its wake
But surprisingly okay with letting it take
Everything in my life that belonged to me

I gave into Addiction
With its charming words,
And hot temper that could explode without warning.
It's bright eyes
And cruel words

I’m learning to live with an Addiction
That I can't help but run towards.