It's killing me.

I know we are more than friends,
but less than lovers.

At what point are we ?

What is left to do when we trust each other,
we support each other,
we crave each others soul,
we understand each other,
we have each other,
we have made each other cry
but mostly laugh?
When we have said so much,
and at the same time
we left so many things unsaid,
and we can still find a topic?

What am I supposed to do when I write you 'I love you'
and you don't write 'I love you' back ?

Do you not love me?
Or are you being -again-
to shy to say what you feel out loud ?

You always sign your post cards saying you send me hugs.
Do you really mean it?
Do you imagine yourself hugging me?
Do you remember out last hug ?
I do.

It was at the bus station.
I still loved you and you still loved me.
We were both to shy.

I was looking for a signal,
something that meant you could still have feelings for me.
But I saw nothing.
You kept distant.
I thought I had lost you.
It was because of my shyness that we are not together.
I did not had the guts to say that I still loved you.
And when it was time to go I tried hugging you
but you pushed me away.

You broke my heart,
and in a certain way,
I broke my heart too.

And then that was it.
You grabbed your plane the next day,
and we haven't seen each other since then.

It is killing me, at what point are we ?

I need to brood,
I need to heal,
I feel all ****,
I feel no appeal.

The first was "I love you".
He killed me with that.
Killed the confused  me.

The second was "Please, forget me"
He killed me with that.
Killed the happy me.

The third was "Don't forget us"
He killed me with that.
Killed the nostalgic me.

The fourth was "Stay with me"
He killed me with that.
Killed the unhappy me.

The fifth was "What's up, friend"
He killed me with that.
Killed me.

Te quiero.
No te dejare ir.

No te marcharas
de esa puerta
sin saber lo que siento.

Te mostrare
todo mi amor
en un beso.

Y
en una mirada
nuestras almas
se volverán a unir.

Si después de eso
quieres partir,
no te lo impediré.

Pero amado mio,
quiero que sepas
que no te dejare ir
sin que sepas
lo que siento
por ti.

Ese momento en el que estas sentada.
Las luces parpadean.
Las señales se encienden.
Te aferras a tu asiento al sentir la velocidad.

Este avanza, a un paso fuerte.
De dulce pasa a brusco.
Tu corazón pide más,
y tu adrenalina esta al tope.

De repente se eleva, y desde la ventana observas como las llantas regresan a su lugar.

Y en ese momento, justo en ese momento.

Te sientes infinito.

You bring the sun.
You are my sunshine.
Just like I once was.

Now
I am your cloud
Full with rain

Yo no se si este amor es temporal,
o si es eterno,
lo único que  se,
es que disfruto cada momento.

Deseo que pudieras ver lo lindo que esta el cielo.
Es un azul lavanda,
el color de las lilas.
El color de una sábana para un niño recién nacido.
El color de la tranquilidad.

Hablas cuando duermes.
Bebes te sin azúcar.
Te gustan los huevos revueltos.
Dejas los libros a la mitad de la sala.
No tapas la pasta de dientes.

Todo eso me desespera
Todo eso me encanta

I sent you a message.
You’re probably not going to respond.
Why do I even bother?

Tanto dañó que nos hemos causado.
Y aquí estamos.
Dándonos golpes de nuevo.

“I wake up scared.
You whisper to my ear
“Everything is alright,
it was just a nightmare”

I smile, and rest my head on your chest
Listening to your heart beat
And feeling how you inhale
And exhale.

Suddenly,
I hear a noise coming from the stairs
“I think somebody broke in”
I whisper back.

I turn my head,
For just a second
To look at the door,
But nobody was there.

Feeling relieved,
I turn back to you
Only to find out
You are no longer in bed with me.

You never were.”

Once,
Not so long ago
Your deep blue ocean like eyes drowned me.

Now, they help me float.

I like you.
However, you do not like me.
Not the way I want you to like me.
You kissed my friend in my bed.
Still, in the morning, I was preparing breakfast for you.
You just made small talk while you put your clothes back on, and left.
You just gave me a kiss on the cheek and left.
Leaving me with questions and a kitchen full of fresh dishes just for you.

Pathetic

Yet, I am still looking forward to seeing you again.

Aunque exista distancia,
aunque el amor sea inseguro,
aunque sea un amor de momento…
Por que he de negarme el placer de quererte?

Tienes el mismo efecto en mi
que el de la primavera sobre el mundo.

Cosechas cosas lindas en mi alma.
Haces que florezcan sentimientos hermosos.

Mis días se vuelven cálidos
y con infinitas melodías.

Tu,
carino,
me recuerdas a la primavera.

¿Porqué me confundes tanto?
No puedo contigo,
pero al mismo tiempo te quiero.

Eres demasiado,
pero vales la pena.
Me fatigas.
Mental y emocionalmente.

Me rompes el corazón.
Y,
al mismo tiempo,
me alegras el alma.

¿Qué hacer con el primer amor?

You said you wish that I remain near you.
You asked for forgiveness,
and admitted it was stupid
to tell me to stay away.

You said
that when I’m not around,
you don’t feel happy.
That we have a connection.  

I told you
I wanted to stay away from you,
and you asked why,
you couldn’t understand my reasons.

You admitted that
you can’t forget me,
and I
told you the same.

I could feel autumn in the air
but your lips tasted like spring,
my body was cold like winter
but burning up as summer does and the same time.

Me pregunto que escribí.
Le respondí que un poema.

El sonrió
pidió que un día le dedicará uno.
Ilusamente
no sabe
que todos los poemas que hago,
van dirigidos a el.

La cosa es que te quiero.

Te quiero mas que a las flores en primavera.
Te quiero más que al sol en verano.
Te quiero más que a los árboles en otoño.
Te quiero más que al viento en invierno.

Te quiero más que a las 4 estaciones.
Te quiero más que a las 4 pm cuando el sol le da un toque dorado a las cosas.
Te quiero más que a las 5 am cuando el sol sale con pereza y el ambiente es azul claro.
Te quiero más que a las 10 am cuando la cuidad se calla y los pájaros hablan.

Te quiero más que a los 12 meses.
Te quiero más que a los 365 días.

Te quiero tanto que me duele.

Le duele a mi ego,
que te quiera más a ti que a el.

Me desperté y sonaba una canción a lo lejos.

El cielo esta muy bonito.
Un azul muy tranquilo.

Ya estoy en Polonia.
A veces la gente necesita un respiro de un respiro.

El momento es perfecto.

No creo que te ame.
Amar es una palabra muy grande, y no estoy segura de saber que es el amor.
De lo que si estoy segura es que te quiero mas que ha nadie.
Te quiero mas que a las pequeñas maravillas del mundo.
Te quiero mas que al olor de brisa, y al sonido de las chocando contra las rocas.
Aun no se que es lo que siento por ti, lo que si se, es que te aprecio mas que a nadie y me haces sonreír.

Como es posible querer a alguien de esta manera?
El carino se me desborda del corazón.

And years will pass by, and you will still make me happy.

Because I am in love with you.
And I can never stay mad at you.
I just see your eyes, and your smile, and it drives me crazy, that we can't be together.
I want to be together.
I want to be with you.
I want to walk in the park and see you smirking and grinning.
And drinking tea in my living room talking about our future.
Man I miss getting up and making you breakfast and preparing the tea just how you like it.
And I miss how you shiver when I kiss you.
And how you start trembling because I make you nervous and I miss how my hand feels under your shirt.
I miss riding a bike with you.
And kissing you under the rain.
Heck, I just miss kissing you in general.

I just miss you in general.

You have a part of my heart,
or you have it all,
you can have everything,
everything you want my darling.

You are good
I am naughty.

You are an angel
I am the devil.

You are heaven
I am hell.