Looking for
a pull up bar
that I can put on
my bedroom door,

because I am working on
building my
back strength
and overall
sexiness.

Looking for
all the episode
of my favorite shows
that I didn’t know
I hadn’t seen yet,

because I am
super obsessive
and have to know
how the whole thing goes
not just the beginning
and end.

Looking for
Star Trek,
Buffy
The
Vampire
Slayer,
and graphic
novel books,

because
I love to read
about the things
that sustained me
when I was a kid.

Looking for
humanity,
all those
struggling
people
who strive to be
better,

because
I feel like
this club of only us
against all other
human beings
have lost our way
and we need to be
reminded
we are one people
not disparate parts
set in a spark
of constant conflict.

Somewhere out there is something through all the dangling darkness.
There is a pitter patter of reverse rain.
A string quartet of meaningless existentialism.
We are caught between two worlds.
There is no turning back.
Each person here to play their own part.
Every thought endlessly echoing for future generations.
For future generations.
I don't know why I am here, why I am enhanced and injected, with fear.
Perhaps that while death was sweeping the sea of people he forgot me.
The choreography of shooting stars passing by us.
Here we all are together in this world.
Love is like deja vu seemlesly causing the whole of the universe to function.
Woke up today in my dreams and I walked to a blurry window and looked outside and I could not tell what was real and what was just dreams.
I feel we have been told by society that dreams and things that we think are fake and only the tangible world is real.
But dreams and thoughts that we think are more real than anything.
For a half remembered dream was created by you and will stay with you.
Random thoughts repeating.
Repeating.
We are the children of tomorrow birthed from our ******* up insecurities that laugh at us.
Ha ha.

Life is passing by a lot faster than I thought.
All my memories seem so far away.
It seemed just yesterday that I was on the train to New York City.
With the phantom lights dimmed down and my guitar in my hand.
Strumming away the days like grey rain raining down cafe jazz.
But now in my cup of coffee is a blurred reflection staring back at me.
All the things that I seen and all things that I have done stored in my memories.
I'm riding in the backseat of a taxi with my face pressed against the window looking out at familiar faces.
Life is passing by a lot faster than I thought.

Up above.
Church bells that vibrate with resonance.
Down below.
The solid earth that grapples with the fear of an apocalypse.
Grass that grips and pulls.
Luminous moonlight from my distant dreams pooling from my pores.
This over growth is my home.
Down by the creek,
you'll find me if I am what you seek.
Turning water into wine.
When I close my eyes I know that there is no difference between this land and me.
Break the darkness.
Break the veil.
The green ones with their seeking limbs, filling up the air, filling up the forest deep.
The leaves and twigs that collect in the drifting yellow suns.
As the deer stood high on the cliff a delicate rain of golden tears shed light on solemn hidden faces.
Seeking light on this path of mine.
Dangling dark vines that swing like pendulums collecting lost souls.
Those that do not make it through left to perish,
left to die.
In tomorrow they restart.
High fidelity voices that press insecurity into them like fists in dough.
Repeat.
Repeat.
The voices in their heads.
They're slippin',
trippin'.
Shaking their heads trying settle down the storm of razor blades within.
There is no return from this far off tear filled island.
All that we see.
All that we are
is wandering souls lost in time.

Tires gripping in the wet.
I am slipping.
Somewhere not here I am waiting for myself.
Tear drops the size of entire oceans rain down.
Can not see past my glass windshield.
Stop.
Break down infrastructure of existence.
The premonition of my future.
The orchestra in me.
There is a dust in the air.
I am slipping.
What ever happened to me.
Resume.
Immediate **** forward.
Off the cliff into the sea a thousand feet below.
I am weightlessly suspended in my golden light memories.
Way up here in the silence, the people down below carrying the weight of their problems.
All my life I have gripped the earth,
felt the power of the tree of life.
Life.
Is powerful and it breathes.
Stop.
A flood of blood pours out of me.
Glass and blood tucks me in forever.

I'm death defyed by you
Your warm skillet
Of afterthoughts
And tongues

The sweet taste of
Teardrop and bubblegum
The *** from the nurses
Cabinet

The stairwell
We had a good habit

Only to lash out
Of many times like this
When I kiss the cheek
Of a monster
And steer down
A road less inhibbited

One we want to know again
One that taste of teardrops and sin
And fun nights of running
With guns down
the streets of Adalie

And once again
We find this bliss
Somewhere between
Heaven and who gives a ****

Where the stars kiss our toes
And wine fills our holes
From valinquished unrelinquesed love

Replaced by sweet current aftertaste
Trying to perfect this flow
Is a hell of who knows
Why must I travel down it again alone