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Connor Simms Sep 2014
I'm all packed up and ready to go, no goodbyes.
Now all that is left is to close my eyes, and breath.
She motions her way to me

Grabs me...
Pulls me in..
I feel my heart start to beat...
I feel my eyes open...
I feel alive.

This is what it is like to live, with her, in her heart and her eyes
For so long I've felt no blood, seen no vein.
For it seemed that all that I had to give was drained.
With her I am renewed.
But now I have to leave her

And life puts me in the stranglehold again.
Connor Simms Dec 2017
Hello, father dear,
I'm not sure what to say.
But when is any son,
When we only have the day?

Hello, father dear,
But sure isn't there a lot to be said?
Man is strongest in silence.
Especially when overfed.

Hello, father near,
How ironic!
This is the closest we've ever been,
All you had to do was get sick.

Aw Jesus.
I'm sorry.
I'm so so sorry.
Can we start over?
Connor Simms Sep 2014
Feel free to leave anytime but now.
For what seems like years I've tried to help you.
Feelings of despair were your daily nightmare, and I your anchor.
Feel free to leave anytime but now.

I watched you fall but I was always there to soften the blows.
I cradled your head and sang you songs to sleep.
I wiped your tears and hushed your most horrific fears.
So feel free to leave anytime but now.

You said I was the stable one.
You said you were the wreck.
You said you were nothing without me.
You are free to leave, but please, anytime but now.

She left and my mind with her.
She left a hole in the soul that you clung to.
She changed me like no other could or ever will.
She forged the anchor that you left.

I wasn't the same and you knew it.
The anchor had rusted from years of your tears.
Just when I was never more grateful to not be alone.
You left me, you ******* left me.

The break was brutal,
long and ever present is the recovery,
had only you been there, who knows,
but you left, you ******* left.

I miss her and I miss you
I miss the tranquil times
I miss all good because little did I know and **** it for being true.
*It all left with you.
This one I feel is meant to be read out loud
Connor Simms Nov 2017
You're starting to
feel better about all
the things that worried
a delicate mind in fall

When you feel it
try to put it out of mind
and please don't choke
on that delicious find

Oh you'll be better soon
Sure why would you worry
You're privileged.
So don't complain.

Never try to whimper,
You'll only feel pain.
Connor Simms Dec 2017
My brains all goopy,
Like a thick soup.
Chunky, and wholesome,
And you wonder.

...

How it got that way,
Content+Consumer=revenue.
These are the trends,
I should be trying to sleep.

...

Waiting for the ads to end,
Another little video.
Just another smidge of content,
It won't hurt at this time.

Were I to ring a dealer at this time,
Some would say I was addicted.
Addiction phones social media sleep
Connor Simms Dec 2017
So much noise.
Pinging your ear drums like pellets.
Ricocheting off of every head.
I didn't think there was a purgatory.

/Booooooooooop/
Leave my dreams at once
Connor Simms Jan 2014
"Why am I so sad?" he'd say,
those warm wet tears freezing the clay
"I've tried so hard, yet gotten nowhere", he'd scream
When he was my signpost.

So concerned of being lost, that he dropped the map.
Without thinking, he ran, into the dark.
Those warm wet tears still freezing the clay.
Ruining my dream.

Not once did he stop, still trying to get out,
all he was able to do was moan and weep,
which only ever plunged him ever more deep.
Ruining my dream.

In my youth I never once stopped him,
never helping him find that muddy map,
so trampled upon by fear and doubt.
I'd just watch.

Now the tears are my own,
It's me running, my map dropped
My signpost broken, hanging.
No one is stopping me.

I don't know how greedy that makes me,
Or any human,
The fact that we cry over the dead because it's they
That no longer provide us our dreams.

We've only cared about ourselves, so stop them.
The running, rest their feet.
Wake up to give them their chance of a dream.
**Maybe then I'll sleep.
Connor Simms Dec 2017
I'm really trying to remember.
Every time you stir the brain.
You're re-imagining it for the for first time.
Every memory you treasure, is not yours.

At first it was...
...then it wasn't
then it wasn't again...
...It sure isn't now

So then why attach yourself?
Why even say, 'Remember when...'
It's not your memory, it's your memory
of that memory.

Funny thing is though...
It comes back with an ebb and flow.
The cold biting through...whatever I was wearing...
The way the wind, rushed into the spaces provided.

I think it was in a smoking area?
Does that sound familiar?
How I felt is what I remember,
And oh, yeah, there was rain.
Connor Simms Dec 2017
In a state of confusion and blood,
those men fought.
What am I to feel?
They died for something they believed in.

So did others that didn't,
the innocent always have to pay
For the heroism of the brave,
if you want to call it that.

Surrounded, they fell
Surrounded, they died
Surrounded, they tried to fight
Surrounded, they surrendered.

Was it right they died?
Was it right they killed?
Was it right their act of defiance to the tooth
slaughtered the youth?

I...
I can't say.
You'd think it was simple.
But history needed to change.

History is ever-flowing,
like a river it runs violently,
but these men,
these men used it to create a stream.

With that stream, came an ocean.
With that stream came our fathers emotions.
With that stream came a generation that knew peace,
who knew their country.

But can I say if that was right?
No. I never can, nor can you.
For any change, surely the innocent must pay.
Connor Simms Sep 2014
How long do you think it's been?
It doesn't matter now, I'm tired of waiting.
I am tired of waiting for life.
I am tired of waiting for happiness.

Life keeps passing me by and I sit and watch,
but I am tired of sitting, I want to fly.
My dreams are the skies and the clouds my possessions.
They bend to my voice and the heavens open.

The rain is so fresh it is as if they were the tears of God,
maybe this was his plan, but I prefer my way.
Worry does not afflict the free.
For I am done waiting.

— The End —