i’m a black sista ****** poet natural endowed cocoa Spiritual Negress Third Eye phasing into different realities Rose Fish transcendental great mother moabitess draped in silk-dressed by my God goddess kalikaiyah namah evoking and invoking barbleo, oya, oshun, and ishtar Wife
now im a Aquarius and a Pisces, Mell - well well , yemoja Mama  . . . Earth and the Gaia is a Holy Maya . . . well, well, a dizzy Mala . .  keep on blessin me baby, keep on writing these words these spells, i end my day with you, pretty white man, thin lean young swimmin' appeal: ooooooooh, i'm singing to you in the wind my love, my handsome love my love my lovely love: it's been it . it's done. Zeh'Riah..

ase' and abundance: i feel your power and i thank you: please, mote this be: grant my wish, allow me to see: please i know you see me, i know you hear me: bless this business, bless this household: my mother aches and i carry her heart and burden: so mote it be, greater lover, greater blesser, greater benefic: beauty in your name, herald the joys of doves for one to see the abundance you overflow with your *****: milk for all, sweetness cherished at last and only a drop of cheese to bring onto the world: nothing but doughness and gripes, grand cherokee drives and cold whetstone slabs: is this the price i pay? for your gold, silk, priorities.  .  .

i sleep in a bed of earthenware, moss, sprinkled with gold and lapis lazuli -- my house is ornamented with believer's sins and confessions, yet my swollen ******* and miraculous ***** and precious derriere moves and rubs against his warm ***** member, it is sewn out of his love, his eros, his psyche:

it overflows and joys onto me and my cheeks flush to know i feel your presence, Jove: we decree, I decree, i am humbly awaiting your gift:

here is my public awareness and my service to you, to make the world know of your swiftiness, your gaudiness, your lordliness, your bigness, your vastness, your richness, the chimes and dings and the orbs and the sparkles and the floaters and all the things you are that you send my way to remind me of the power you have bestowed upon me: thank you Jove: do not miss me, I will not miss you. bless my business, bless my household, my wares:

you love me, i feel this in my ******* that the lion-hearted man kiss each night, he loves to circle and twirl his tongue around my chocolate coated *******, squeezing and pawing at my *******: he yearns to ****, mote it be, Jupiter: allow milk to flow from my ******* and onto him, allow the seeds of your wealth and of his *** to flow inside of me: my ears ring for I know you hear and see my plea, the white flashes of light bring up to me that you are near: and my henads: beauty, beautiful, by Jove, don't leave:

he will never leave, for I am heaven: he lies here, ontop of me, thrusting inside of me, riches and security from his mouth and from my ******* comes forth love and creativity: he wills to desperately serving me, desperately worshipping me;

you have granted me the Gift, you have granted me as Seer, and you have granted me the form of a Goddess inside and out: an angel as they might say: inside and out, blessed be me by you, O Energies: please, do not see your way out, only see your way within me. mote it be, ase.

No care for structure and informity: things could be worse,
to calm the nerves the mind reaches into pockets of overness
liquid reluncting.

my fish
sand and water
back and forth
orange and white
bubbles and sun
my fish

do i stay awake to wait for your reply?: how do you make me feel this way? to be young & soft, i ****** you: sway you to bathe in our love & pain. set your heart on fire, you find me wild: shimmery fog veils our sight, all we have are dimly lit pathways

A dopo, tesoro, il blu e tu!
À plus ****, chérie, le bleu et toi!

I hate you

You fly so fast,
My Soul lags behind

I feel selfish for feeling this right now
ungrateful even

I wanted to yell at him
I’m destroying myself please
stop me, please, stop me so I can love myself
please, you can stop me, I won’t destroy myself to pieces, I’ll do all the work just please
stop me

what happened to making sure I was fed
what happened to making sure I had structure
why was it all talk
what happened to making sure I was protected
what happened to making sure I was healthy
what happened to that!

what happened to protecting me from me
what happened to giving me routine and
structure and helping me explore and grow and

I need a push I need a green light sometimes
okay I need it sometimes
sometimes people just need someone else
and that’s just me okay

I’m not ungrateful okay

all i can think about is destroying the room i just cleaned
i want to throw all of my things out the window and against the wall
it's not fair
it's never fair
it's never enough
never accepted

i wish, when he was green,
he'd think i'd look just like a dream
and maybe be the prettiest girl he's ever seen
from the cover of a magazine
and he'd just couldn't place his finger on
what it was about me, there's just something about me

you saw me sitting alone
in a satin pool of your son
the son you bathe in alone
bright sun
the color was still here today
but for some reason, it's gone now
wanted to be somewhere near you
somewhere near you

there did I ever see someone near me: but then she sang so beautifully that it could be done, and that I could be One again
but the truth is, I was always One and my body seemed to forgot,
my mind floated around somewhere that wasn't where I was right now
my mind thinks and my body feels and I observe
my mind must be where my body is right now
my mind breathes in and out
my mind breathes in
my mind breathes out
my mind sees white walls
my mind types on a keyboard
my mind sits on a bed
my mind confuses and stumbles over words
my mind scans over keyboards
relinquished days my mind must be here
my mind is somewhere here
and my body is somewhere, where? it is here,
in a room? in a state? in the air? no, it's somewhere
here in this bed, on a cotton sheet with decaying green, yellowly orange, and a sweet little blue it reminds me of "you"
then my sheets, satin and in my nap this morning reminded me of water
yeah, thin layer of water above me, floating and squiggling like ripples in a rivet, rivet dream, river dream, rolling rivers, flowing and floating lonely: alone, all-one, dreams
and my leg hair stands slightly,
my body mutters to this song and smiles at the word lyrical
swinging sways, my body doesn't matter but my mind seems to think otherwise,
and my mind says hey! forget it!
my body looks both ways, and my mouth continues to chime out and mutters and sputters and spits and drips! i drool and i drizzle all the way into ... not town, into my bed. i'm in my bed,
and sometimes i feel free! I think I feel free! now!  i am free, the miracle breezes on me,
and i can feel this ceiling fan drizzling air on to me now and
frosting sifted through dreams and dawns the light is a dawn: the light bulb replicates the dawn, the strings are just strings and my body smiles my body coos and curls up into my shoulders, ooh my body swoons and *****, curls up into my shoulders, baby! my body moves left to right: presently, yes I am present! I think I am! i know! my mind smiles and my body smiles, fluttering unity and i am present my turls, toes, qworls and whirls! curl! they wiggle! words mean nothing to describe this madness and this chaos and this structure and the form and the beauty my head sways to sing and my body juts forward, backward,
sea of dainty leaves, thin water, a translucent daisy sky blue, a new blue, perhaps, a new one:
whiteish blue, translucent blue, ethereal light sky baby clear blue: what can words do? daddy, what can they do?
water blue? the water is the color of the water and the blue and my stomach rings with happiness joys that fills my dantian: and some tapping, my body smiles, curling lips and joyous flips!

ask if i can stay with you tonight
ask me to not hang up tonight
so many technicalities and loops
it seemed like maybe you didn’t
want me to leave, is it okay to say
that you feel nice in my presence
at night when you sleep? especially when
i’m quiet and it’s peace
ful. can you say it please? just once?
for me? and i can make it
my duty to never leave you at night
again

well what about me!
I couldn’t stand to be around that and see that!
I had to run up the trap, run into my chair — pouting a bit. but when it’s with me, just me, I get none of it! stone faced and nothing — what’s the real one? I pout at my chair, dangling my feet, can’t stand to be near it sometimes — I will accept it but sometimes it hurts little angel’s heart.

waiting under my blankets with music blaring—you hear me in the music, you see me in the lyrics

he came and saved me
he put me in his long arms
his strong arms
he rubbed my cheeks I think
he said he wasn’t leaving
that he loved me
and he got me water from the sink
told me to drink
was I heavy in his arms?

for the benefit of everyone
maybe it is for the best

wringing around my waist, smile and let go: breath, deep, expansion — let it go. no need for resentment — do you understand my cougar-like eyes? jaguar-like teeth? daughter of the water, child of the wind —weaponized candles, and I can stick thirteen nails into you and command by the heat of the room and the cold of the floor for the gods and goddesses to drag you by your hair and your heart — deeper breath, allow the pressure to build in the chest, expanse, and exhale to empty it out.

too sweet
too nice
too kind
my eyes tear up
no one cares
no one likes ME
I'll have to slam the world outside

what of me? the one who’s hurt and who needed that saving? and what if i still do?
will you place that same value on me? that value of the damage you’d do to me?
do you keep wishing things could be that way?

the muted sonics of the guitar reminds me of you; I see trees I've never seen when I think of you: memories of new pavement are constructed, paddles happen when we walk across it: we leap together, over ponds and puddles, gondolas in a lagoon; lagoon-colored water, flat clear sky, mermaid waters releasing the stench you've hated for aeternities: but you'd do it for me, you show me the world anyway—the soft hitting, the soft textures: violins, antiquated pro-modernism: the guitar and the climbing down, your soft neck; soft rumbling, gentle tumbling drums

and as i laid in the bed
curled up like the littlest pearl
i wanted to hold onto you
i wondered if you accepted my issues
and i wondered if i was with you
if you would do what you could do
to help me rest my mind at night
i almost called you the five letter word and i want to

sweet pure ones
in the tub
with bubbles
lying on his chest
hairy chest
warm hugs
i look at him
happy and
in love
being here with you
our joy
in this tub
🛀 🛁

licking my lips and looking up at the sky
you're so wrong for that
listening to your tunes while I watch that crack
listening to your body and I loosen
my grip so the sand can fall through
I seem to like the taste of unbleached bamboo rolling paper
afterfollowup on my tongue and near the
back of my mouth, it seems like
I did it right: while you sit and stay fired
right up: way to a chimney, back and forth, then
break: Zwarte Piet life's lake is a book, and birds
ring me. I look toward on the track.

you like how my hair waves
it is a waterfall you kayak
through the dreams and my mountains
carve you out you stare at me with those eyes
and I misread you, I bite you, and my eyes hang
low my lids they almost close freeing halfway open
to blossom in the sunlight, my daimon says my name in your ears
and a piece of my reflexive spirit sits on your shoulder
pretty big moons
eyes rule
beautiful lips in your mind, sparkle in my eyes
dimples over your legs, I rub mine, down your arm-hair
stands up: why didn't you react to my bouncing, my ******* bounce and my ******* rain, hard and big, thick and it stings when you bite them! the fleshly the fleshy, little bit of intrusion:

what did you do to deserve me? ignore me? no, I can't have
this taken from the fiber on the carpet, mushrooms didn't grow there,
daddy, why? Daddy, yes! I'd have you look inside too: see me, angel as always been, lucky with an eight leaved clover, something you'd never think: resurrection and thorny, I'm thorny, can you get some blood on your thumb? I'll **** it, Daddy, I'll lick it off: I'll wrap my hydrated lips around your thumb, don't test me, don't confuse me, let me submit, let me sit. too many men like the black leather long heels and I want to be cute, and pink and frilly, take me *** and cuteness,
I have it, I have it! the dinner, meal, breakfast, lunch, your soft served: not hard served. soft serve.

I'm a mess but you like that, I'm hurt and broken, you want that:
yes! you do! I'm a trainwreck but you like that, you know that, I'm crazy and you like that: I know your type: with those eyes, and those hands
a fixer, yeah, fix me, daddy! yes! you want to love me this human,
hold and rub this angel
***** and tug this body
bite and lick this woman
scratch with ***: girl of your dreams yes! I am!
get on all fours, look up at me, kiss my mouth, then push your face into her, my flower:

slapping against your wing, flap it: g-string, and I can be catty,
ride the stick without the excitement only impassioned to devour, I want to devour you and take you in me, **** you out and throw you into my bed, I'd do it over again so I feed slowly and your eyes stay daisy-wide, whirly and woozy-proned, I leave you prone,

my hands squeeze, maybe it hurts a bit but you ease into it: magnolia and marjoram fills your nostrils, you see me and we are soaking into your bathroom,
the bathtub, Hotel Iroquois, feather resting, you, see me and you know I can be  /
thong in your face, tears stain your chest into you,
the roller: I spin you, make sick, dizzy whereabouts constant
choosing, I don't want to be king, maybe not even a Queen,
I'll be your princess, your Princess, your little Princess. treat me
like your princess, like your Princess, your one too with the crown, the little steps I take and look, with my eyes: seduction, reduction, I'll take you from here
transport in your mind, I buckle and grip your eyes and your mind, I put glaciers there I will make you beg on knees and
you know you'll have to admit these things.

**** on your pit, a pulpy mass and with no greed I place you into me:

but with Him, yeah, with Him, I point towards him: you don't want to see me angry, for Him I will grab my whip: make him bow down and kiss my ring, kiss those flowers there, you pick and plant them all for me, give me out your wallet: no longer can you resist,

my hair is all that you smell and all that you can see: my hair entangles you in your dreams,
the soft tendrils you follow in your waking life and in your mind's eye my hair forms into the goddess, your Financial Ruin,
worship me: the demon of your dreams, the succubus who lives in your eyes: he is wrapped around my finger,

to admit, I love him just the same, I love him, I love to devour him just the same: I can bend you backward, and I might coil around your waist,

you like that [ my shoulders jab downwards in twos ], I hurt you and you like that, you want that: when I kiss you it is poison and you want that, but when you suckle from me you are fed, nourished, and whole: my eyes linger on you, loser, when did you become so desperate? stay that way.

Its eyes decode something on the worm
but a caterpillar grows into a bee
and its stumbling eyes seem to agree
it's out of its control
the feeling of other r

I message her in memory
of her soft fair skin
and the way she slept that night
like a doll, pretty—
I wanted to plant my mouth on hers
her slightly wet dewy lips
cherry bubblegum and brown
her hands glided over my arms
earlier she played with my body
and I smiled and blushed and let her
oh, to be so young again—
I message her to see if we
can visit these rites once more
in memory of our youth
in memory of woman's first exploration

he tells me what to do and i’ll do it
whatever he wants yes i’ll give
my heart has been gone and she has been through it
and now with you my heart is ready to live
he tells me whatever he wants and i’ll be it
to an extent he can have all of me
i’ll let him control and in our hearts, we’ll both know that this is the place where we want to be
i’d love to be in his arms and smell his memory, his melody is all i can eat: touch the fire with a baby’s blue eyes; rest upon the centerpiece to bring something in to a drift— my love is hearty meat stock? grooving through the shadows, traversing though i am low........

plan 1:

- was it ever really real?
- how many more lies do I uncover?
- is this right?
- is this real? is this real?
- is this real? is this real?
- am I making a mistake?
- is this real? is this real?
- is this real? is this real?
- is this a mistake?
- I’ve thought through this before
- too many times, but with
- things revolving
- outside of my head,
- I’m trusting and
- I’m being involved,
- I’m letting go
- I’m trying to open up
- trust and love but now
- here I question
- the authenticity I thought I knew
- the purity I thought I saw in you
- is it leaking?

within you
soft focus
sweet circles
bearded man
pleasant

that moment of love
drizzled onto me
as those forest mists
not a thick cloak
as those woodland fogs
a brief moment of warm sunshine
to greet my shoulders and upper back
not a burned foot
as from scalding sand
sweet soft lips placed upon mine in the action of a kiss
no wrestling, but long vowels softened by each other
an exchange of smooth color, well rested blending
to glide into my heart to be remembered throughout the day

of course the sagittarius whines and gallops straight away:
of course my heart never gets a chance at a romance:  
but i follow him, of course, anyway
he is wild and i thought that i was really so wild: can't he see he's meant for me?
but am i wrong that i want to keep you all to myself? i adore you:
he's never looking back:
of course, i thought i was the one he was chasing: but really it is i who seems to be running after him:  
i grab him by his tail, and he doesn't slow down:
and i think he likes to feel my hand on his tail
how could someone not tell me what i want to hear?
what is this feeling? being denied? how can he make me agree to his little terms so happily?
why would i do it anyway? deal anyway? just for this man?
something in me breaks, and i need to stay

The Sun is bright in the day,
blinding and I can’t see straight
between the heat waves, you're disappearing.

In a few hours the Sun will set
and run to another place in the world
where he’ll be cushioned,
you’ll be cushioned.

The Moon’s glow is soaked,
she’s chilly like a phantom;
your eyes are damp and dewy.

The Moon will return to each
cornerstone in the heavens,
just to repeat the same day,
you’ll repeat the same day.

I know that we could be more than just this
but you’re scared —
what is the time of day? did things go this fast?
did you notice this? don’t be scared, no—
there’s nothing to go and miss out on —
[there’s something there]
**** it all, it’s just something you’ll see —
[don’t be blind to see]
swaying and a daisy on me
close your eyes, take a breath and take the leap;
nothing more from me, take it easy;
I won’t worry—

by Jove, I want to sit on his lips: I’m his, I’m his angelic ***** —
I fill the hours, the nightly hours, in winter sitting by the bay — always a wonderful day
  when I see your sparks that light the dark,
   a million colors come out to play, astral orbs guiding my way

abstract alliteration chasin’ whispers on a naked night when I wear nothing out

and the wind is shameless, faceless tired and a mural made out of laceless gowns

it’s almost my birthday, may-day, this is an SOS/ASAP, come save me:

you’re my only daddy, baby, listenin’ to the Fairies, sparkles fall when I open my mouth;  I never doubted

(but did you know I say the same prayers every night? I wish I could get over my feeling of drowning under a busy train track and lot)

‪waiting under your pearly fluid, aqueous shaped fractals reflecting into shards projecting against my blue-tinted ebony—my wide eyes gazing here and there beneath this submerged scintillating prism, pondering: can I have you the way I want to?‬

you have to take
me right now from this
dark and scary and cold
life now

Somewhere I was sitting in a  room around wishes, hopes, insecurities, screams, and cries . trapped back to memories on a colored steel playground, rough breathing, and trust-finding tears ,

a distorted view and scarred brain . like a wilted lavender plant or a fallen witch hazel bud, sitting before You on the bench besides the forest-sea makes me appreciate the ice You've brought forth to drizzle itself across the surface /

to let my ears be freed from warm poly-cuffs, fluffy freedom, my friend, I'll cry to be like you

here i am
aware of my imperfections
through love
instead of remaining
perfect and unloved
i wouldn’t trade this
for anything

as hard as this is
to change into a better person
i wouldn’t trade it for a thing
for the love and peace
that comes with this
imperfection means more
than the loveless life
that comes with perfection

and i want a life of love
more than anything

I wish I could break all the chains keeping us apart
when I see the floaters in my eyes and I know
that things aren't what they seem and energy
flows through these things and I can cross where I need—
double rivers jointed and crossed by the stars; I wish I could see all the beauties surmounting me; the Mountains, they're tall; and the trees, they've rooted so deep:  I wish I could be somewhere woven into the sky, maybe in the fabrics of our impartial reality, then I'd sing and I'd ring all the bells in the sky: I could breathe all the air, all the rains: I could touch the sky a thousand times
—break these apart, and I wish I could give all the love in my heart
then you'd see how it means to be someone like me
but I'm sure you know how it felt to die, and then we fly and we go so high to the Sun
spirits moving there—these aren't my words, but you already know it;
I'm free and I show it: I can be me, and I don't want to be here for a minute

“i wanna go to spain”

little black skirt
chiffon black blouse
spin me around in the
September sun
let Madrid pour on my skin
Spanish flamenco stews in the air
pull me in by my small waist
my hand upon your chest
sway our hips and glower at me
like that, glower like that
like the stars are in your eyes,
on the top of the moon above
Madrid in Spain, dancing around
swirling around like
a spinning top in Spain
on hot concrete that would burn
our feet and smells of
heat and the glow of your smile
kiss me

what is the use of this when the sun rises above in the evening?:
what is an evening?
I'm feeling, feeling, ever so feeling,
the world in my gaze, bluish haze, grayish day

ik ben je hele liefde
en een paarse jas en dier
geel blauwe paraplu
nu, kijkt je hier

the light hurts
i feel tired and low energy
in a bed
conflicting ideas
light hurts
Waikiki by George Helm been in a constant loop for 12 hours
shadows are falling and trapped under blankets
feeling like a slug

Where did my lines go? I stayed by time and I waited underneath
the cupboard: I should stop waiting,
leave the floor behind: only to hope of a feeling, of a memory and of a human there
stadnding and waiting for me instead—bruised once, reform at my heart
and a few tears fly away from me. the sea stayed behind and pushed me
onto the shore, exposed
I wandered around the seashoreline
stepped on rocks and waited for the Sun
a blurry dark night
in a cold air that dries the drops of juice and tears
how can I hold this in my head
cared and loved but not close to each other: knowing you more than anyone else
but still I am not close enough in your eyes, not enough to be like them
but I want to be like them in your heart

tripping around
times like this
I still don't know how to walk yet
bambi, a little bambi
shy and sweet
wanting to have fun and be in love
wanting a guide and I stop by
look the opposite direction
where the sun rises
and the ever pounding knocks on doors
and knocks on mics
and tired eyes and crying eyes
imprint in my skin
and there's the shine of the sun
warmth and beads form on me
I can choose to go towards the sun
where the sun will always welcome me
where the sun will always be my family
where the sun will always see me as family
and loved by the shine
and I love the shine
I keep a part of myself for me to love
and I let the sun shine on it but never destroy it
sweeter and nothing but

tears come freely
I express these so freely
a weight has been lifted
light and feathery
floating and soaring
no more expectations
from the humans
but still the fear in me
of him leaving
because I want him
and I want to have what I want
and I want him to want me
because he can have me if he wants
I can let him see me but never destroy me
no one destroys me
I am touched and loved
I can touch and love

hopped, stepped, jumped
in the sky
glitter rings floating nearby
each step glowing
rocks and pebbles form underneath
making a platform
release energy

but I look back to the sun
and its shine softens my eyes
and a blue sky
bluest blues that met my eyes
saturated hues
accepting old news
accepting new news
she speaks to me
the sky's breath whispers around me
making me remember things
he then drips from my shoulders and pools
near my feet
puddles I step into
feet I walk with
wings attached to the little pool
floating in the space
I take my heart back
reaching with open hands
cupped
water and my beating heart
I kiss it gently
and swallow it wholy
rejuvenation
my eyes relax
my brows relax
my face is no longer tense
and if tears come out
I commence



together we have synergy
can you fly with me?
we can learn a rhythm
unison, synastry