my crocuses are frozen
my hyacinths are wilted
my snow drops are still hiding
and my tulips all are stilted

my lawn is buried deeply
my door bell doesn't ring
all of these together are
signs of Canadian spring

lawn all ripped to ratshit
flyers frozen to the fence
*** holes every fifty feet
student residences to rent

icicles on my eavestrough
and the damage that they bring
all of these together are
signs of a Canadian spring.

I was dancing at a dance club
Two stepping all about
When my thumb, it found a belt loop
And I couldn't get it out

I shifted and I wiggled
I ****** my hips out front in time
I bent over and I shimmied
I was twerking on the line

Now, I ain't no Miley Cyrus
You can believe me now or not
I wasn't up there twerking
It's because my thumb was caught

I sashayed and I moseyed
And others got up too
My thumb was still encumbered
What the hell was I to do?

I was twerking like a mad man
Not knowing how, or  why
But the pain in my one digit
Just made me want to die

Maybe now I know the reason
Miley Cyrus did her dance
She wasn't up there being slutty
She had her thumb stuck in her pants

Now, I'm through with twerking
And there's is one thing that you'll find
That unlike young Miley Cyrus
You don't want to watch me from behind!!!