everywhere i go there's a cop
not a real cop, but someone trying to convict me
incarcerated by their eyes
i'm stuck in their cell and they restrict me

everywhere i go there's a God
not a real God, but someone trying to judge me
i'm condemned by their eyes
i'm stuck in their hell and they begrudge me

Why do I still try?

This love is like halaal
Everyday a bit of me dies
Whilst it keeps stabbing me
Bit by bit.

Now I feel like
A lone cloud
Drifting away into my paradise
Of filth and dark air.

I am standing on a cliff
And on either sides
I know I will be woebegone.

What do I do?

**How do I tell you I love you?

I want to write love
But I only bleed pain

I want to go back to my past
When tame pigeons of joy nested on my eaves
And I could hear their crooning
With the sweetness of love outpouring

I want to go back to my past
When innocent instincts ruled my heart
And I ran after every call from the woods or bush
Mesmerized by the whistles of the oriole and the thrush

I want to go back to my past
When every rainbow and every peacock feather
Ignited curiosity in me as a child
And colored my imagination wild

I want to go back to my past
When, with friends, I sat in the mango grove
And savored the ripe juicy mangoes
Careful not to let the pulp drip down our mouths

I want to go back to my past
When we strolled along the sandy strands
Watching the wild waves fray
And cooled by the kiss of spray

I want to go back to my past
When we had watched at night
A hundred fireflies dancing around the neem
Wondering if they were stars fallen from heaven’s seam

I want to go back to my past
When, like breeze, we ran over the meadows
Looking for the bleating lamb
Singing in chorus, ‘Mary had a little lamb’

I want to go back to my past,
When life appears a trying test
With ‘the slings and arrows of an outrageous fortune’
And as and when I feel so desperately alone!

with torches burning from behind
there's none like me to stand beside
it was a shock to wake up to find
I can't find nowhere to hide

with pieces of mankind's designs
there's a monster living deep inside
I hate who made this life of mine
I just couldn't get by if I tried

made with parts of different kinds
brought to life by lightning applied
there's no peace left in my mind
I can't find nowhere to hide