Depression means
I don’t swim in the ocean anymore
Because I’ve spent days drowning
In my own bed

Depression means
I don’t hug people anymore
Because every time I let go
I feel guilty for letting go
Too soon
Or too late

Depression means
I am difficult to love
Because I need you to be with me
But not too close or too long
But don’t stay away
Because I get lonely but also
Need isolation because I’m an introvert
Because my love language
Says I like receiving gifts
But whenever I get a gift
I feel like a burden
And I’m not worth whatever you paid for this
Because I have put a cost on myself
On my happiness
On my mind
Because anything more than $75 an hour
Won’t get me a return on my therapy investment
Because I sometimes see myself in the mirror
And wish I could disappear

Depression means
Life and death don’t feel all that different
Because they’re both terrible ******* options

I kept chasing
you, as if
you were
a distant dream.
But dreams
are not always
dreams.
Sometimes, we have
nightmares too.

I don't really wanna talk about it.

I think it's better if I keep it to myself.

Sometimes I could really do without it.

This kinda thing's just no good for my health.

-

Because again and again
I tell the same story,
and I know it's a shame
but there's nothing that you can do for me.
Being alone don't scare me.
I'll just kick back with my friend Mary.
-
It's the usual drama.
The same old skit.
Another boy let me down
but I'll get over it.
I'll just pack another bowl
and get a clean hit
of this high grade ****.

- -

So don't ask me if I'm OK.
I don't feel any different to how I did yesterday
and it didn't matter then
and it doesn't matter now.
I just wanna numb the pain
and I don't care how.

- -

Oh Mary! Mary-Jane.

I got the real life blues again.

So take me away, let's fly.

Nothing matters when I'm high

-

and I don't really wanna talk about it.

I think it's better if I keep it to myself.

Sometimes I could really do without it.

This kinda ****'s just no good for my health.

-

I don't really wanna talk about it.

I don't really wanna talk about it.

I don't really wanna talk about it.

...

Feeling much better.
But I know it's just because
I'm smoking more ****.