Waiting
Always waiting —
I creep into my own dreams
Waiting for them to become reality
Living in another time
Grieving what was
Never mine

Waiting
Always waiting —
For my life to begin
For a time when my mind
And my body join in

Fog seeps through every inch of me
Distorting my views of
You
Cleansing me of each thought of
You
These bleak misunderstandings of
You
Because it was really never actually about
You

In the pursuit of death,
We are halted by the occurrence of life,
Debted to hope
And tolled by the terrene

Life is short
Love is unfair
Don't waste your precious time
Being bitter and hurt
Love your time with them
As a learning experience
No matter the past
Wish them the best
Focus on yourself
Move on

Feeling lost sitting at home
I've been on autopilot so long
I'm making tracks in my carpet
Nothing but a figurative circle

I keep telling myself
It will be okay
It's only temporary
You are not alone

And I know
This is just how life is sometimes
But that doesn't take the pain away

Sometimes you don't even need a reason to hurt
Your brain just starts to send the wrong signals
I am writing right now and it doesn't matter if it *****
I am speaking to no one and to everyone
Just to not feel so alone

I'm not afraid to cry
But I'm tired of feeling like crying
It's a melancholy thing I suppose
And even if it doesn't feel good
I'm still appreciative of the ability to feel

This isn't a matter of actually being alone
I just feel like a stranger in my own skin
People are trying to help me
And I'm not denying it

It's only temporary, right?

There lives in the everyday
On a Wednesday late morning sidewalk
Of grimy city and in the small town
In the overcast of pregnant skies

Just plain folks
Blind enough of their own ego
To wear an immunity of self like a concrete saint

You see them in timeless pause
And watch in awe and ache
As blue and grey birds
With eyes as cloudy as your skies
Rest peacefully on their fingertips
Nurturing fat bellies with morsels of a sacred stillness