1.
A boy dropped his pen on the floor next to me
and I took it.
I said it was mine when he asked about it.

2.
I didn't cry when
my cat
or my dog
or my great grandma
died.

3.
I read the text.
I just didn't want to talk to her.

4.
I broke up with him
on the phone
because I thought he might cry
if I did it in person.

5.
I stopped talking to him
when I got a boyfriend.
I started talking to him again
when we broke up.

6.
We flirted for 2 years.
He told me he loved me.
I told him he was like a brother.
He started doing ****.

7.
I knew his dad hit him.
I didn't tell anyone.

8.
I told her to stop talking to me
because she was too depressing.
She went to rehab for self harm.

9.
When he told me he wanted
to **** himself,
I told him a million reasons he shouldn't,
but never once said
*don't.

On the floor
in my living room
with my head on your chest
and your arms around me.
The tv was on.
I don't remember what show.
I remember the beating of your heart.
I remember how shallow your breaths were.
I fell asleep.
When I woke up,
I rolled over.
Glanced over at you,
said good night,
walked upstairs.
I wonder how you felt.
I don't know why I keep doing this to us.

I'm not saying I've fallen for you
I'm still not sure
but you said you loved me
and I think maybe I could love you too
if you were a better you
and I know I shouldn't ask you to change
but you've been gone for a while
and no one knows where you went
and I'm hoping that when you get back
you'll be better
and maybe then we'd have a chance
and I know this is wrong of me to think
but I keep thinking it
because you said you love me
and it's been four years
and you still do
so I think I have time
to decide how I feel
and you'll still be here
waiting for me
or maybe you won't
I don't know what you think of me at this point
I don't know if you'll keep waiting
but I hope you will.
I hope you still love me.
I know that's selfish,
but I hope you do.
I think I might love you,
if you give me a chance to.