I feel inside out.
As if the inside of my flesh is exposed and vulnerable to the outside world,
susceptible to people and circumstance who poke and **** as they often do- perhaps to test resilience.
Well what if I don't have the strength to endure?
What if it wears on me? drains me? kicks me around?
What if i don't want to get back up after I fall?
What does that make me?
Weak?
Un-stoic?
loser-like?
sensitive?
vulnerable?
tired?
apathetic?
finished?
socially suicidal?
in denial?
If i resist so much and close down so much and let my world shrink so much until i back up into the tightest corner that existence will allow,
until i resist life itself and contemplate death as a alternative to "living"
who am i after the image i've strived to maintain ever since i was taught to upkeep one is utterly obliterated?...
When I'm stripped down to my most basic layer of inherent humanness
who am i?
Who am I!?
*WHO THE **** AMM I!!!???