Dearly beloved, I know you do not exist
Among the walking people and the cement walls,
My love is insane, the lover is fixed
Someone unreal, a rose without thorns.

Dearly beloved, you are a work of Art,
Art itself, the universe since the very start
How fluent your silence is,
The moon up there is your heart.

Dearly beloved, your existence is abstract
Yet I feel your breath on my face,
Your fingers on my skin, your warm smile,
A union purely spiritual and divine.

You are the platinum of the clouds above,
Clarity of the turquoise waters,
The whispers of the empty night,
The orange horizon just before dawn.

Then, what am I doing down here?
Take me into your comforting arms
Then I think, how can I lose you
When I never had you from the start?

Dearly beloved, wake me up from this slumber
Show me the way through this forest fire.
Anything but don't make me ask again,
What is this and where am I?

There is You,
my son, and You.

The You that died;
the You which we see
on rising
in photographs on walls
or framed or there
by the window;
the You staring back at us
from our mobile phones.

There's the You I saw
brought into the world
pink and small
and wanting to feed
and latch on
for the liquid food.

The You growing up
from baby to toddler,
mischievous, but loving.

The You growing
into manhood,
stoic and quiet
and brave, going about
in your own way
to climb many a mountain
of adversity
and reaching the top
and over it
and quietly smile
and unseen
in a corner, sit.

There is the You
of quiet talk,
of gentle words;
You of soft
under the breath swearing,
if the referee
had got it wrong.

There was the You who
became ill so suddenly;
the You who was let down
by medical professionals;
the You we loved,
the You whose heart
flat-lined and died.

There is You,
my son, and You.

The You who was taken
and the You whom we feel
around us still,
touching;
walking by
out of the corner
of our red rimmed eye.

when i curled up at your touch,
there was no rearview mirror in your eyes
Your hand’s a gift-wrapped fantasy
Your face an apology
for a crime that was not yours.

rather, i feared
that if i yawned open (creaking)
the love trickling out would be yellow (and reeking)
my bones unstitched, you’d run away (shrieking)
                       (i’m slick with sickness on the floor)

can’t shake this (him), rancidly grasping
grinding (and swallowing) and caving, collapsing
my body a coffin lay innocence rasping
rotting and ruinous and wasted and worn

i love within a cage. Don’t open it;
i don’t want to see what’s inside

things had never been more right
i've never done things more wrong
and everything's nothing now
  (i'm still supposed to shine somehow??)

people keep talking to me
  as if they know me
but its so hard to remember
anything other than these raging embers

some of them seem nice enough
  like they honestly care and stuff
but its too hard to focus on friend
  when i can't make the miracle un-end

love dont die
at least for me
it just screams forever
burning broken ragged ravaged fever

call the clowns
and listen closely now
cuz i'm lost without You
lost without You

see in the dark?
of course i can!
aint got no ******* spark
ain't got nothing man

toss all the pebbles into the stream
  none left for Yur window
**** the clown horn's silent scream
  noone needs to Noe

what the **** was i thinking?
what the **** was i drinking?
can't be true
me without You

i was living the dream! like every other relationship and emotion had been the warm up and i was finally where i really belonged, and i wasn't taking it for granted, I swear!! i was completely aware what a miracle WE were and I was doing everything i could imagine to nurture, to kiss caress laugh smile both of our souls, and instead i killed it

i believed in finally finding FINE
because it was pure and perfect
PURE FACT!!
but it could never have been forever
cuz i am the king of forever is never

another soul fracture
  as pure pours impure
the tender taste of bitter tears
  ****** noose burns taint my beer

once again nothing makes sense
even less so than ever before
  and I can pretend no pretense
    as I am slammed into fornevermore

my heart can't quite beat right
another anxiety attack in sight
no chulahoma to make this right
  just a ****** country version of the blues night

and when there won't be another then
  this **** up is the worstest sin
cuz im the best ive ever been
  but too late for the right when
and Yur gone
  and that will forever go on and on

but shall Yur being funnest fullest friend
  mean we find a way not to end
or will all that remains of You
  be just another tattoo?

I am in love,
With your
Darkness.

You seduced me,
With your mystery.

Everywhere I look I see your face.  
Grandiose,
yet humble.
Old as time.
Luminous freckles,
Stretch proud,
On the infinity
Of your body.

You inspire me,
And humble me.
I am enchanted
By your
Lullaby  
Of silence.

I know  there's some that fear you,
Stricken by the omnipresence.
I feel sympathetic,
For the ages
Of misconceptions.
Whispered in your name.

I am staggered
To my atoms.  
By your honesty.
Your projection,
Naked and dark,
Bare and bountiful,
Beautiful.

And I know one day Ill join you,
Up in your excellence.

Every time the tears fall, i hold my head a little higher so even when im at my lowest ill be looking above

love is a battle field and not many of us are willing to fight. Most of us just want the rewards but how many will actually brave the war for love?. Don't be one of the soldiers that sit back and watch the other soldiers fight . Lace up your armour and get your shield ready, its time you fought for what's yours.

The world is losing
Gravity,
But no one can escape,
We're hurtling on our petrie dish
In a gel that seals our fate;
Gravitating
Towards black holes;
They're closer than you think.

In China
There's a wall of dust,
Seen clear from outer space;
Our living waters die
In a legacy of disgrace.
We're citizens
Wearing masks;
We should hide our faces,
But we're running daily tasks.
We're fossils burning
Fossil fuels
Found in cremation gas.

The amphibians
Are on the fringe;
Whales can't sound,
They run aground.
It's an environmental slaughter.

Our world has lost
Some gravity.
We need to plant our feet,
But  charnel fires
And greenhouse gas
Have hastened our retreat.
Migrating birds lose sense of time,
Confused by the lights.
The morning dove coos at night,
The nightingale at dawn;
We're like
New turtles muddling,
Under lost starlight.
We must grasp
The gravity
Of burning
Burning  light.

This is a conversation from my head, a place where i am a lot more eloquent.

I say "I've only been to a few cities, in a handful of states, in one country. I am in no way qualified to know where in the world i want to live, where i belong. I do, however, know who i belong with. I belong with you."

You say "How do you know that though? You've only been with a handful of girls, surely you haven't seen a world's worth. How do you know?"

I say "The same way i'll know when i've found my city. I know i won't see the world, but when i find my city... when it's time... i'll know. It may be a city i've known for years, just overlooked, but when i truly find it, see it as it truly is, i'll feel safe, happy, full of life... i'll feel home. Like i do with you."