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 Mar 2020
kenny
Every kiss begins with chaos
Before we collide
Our unquiet minds
On to the mattress

We made this bed
To bash our brains
of imagination

Where you steady me
slit my veins
and feed on the electricity

Are you turned on?

Tune in,
and drop out.
This is a high
without the drugs

Darlin'
be a little more reckless
Wrack your mind
and embrace the transgressions

Whisper to me,
let your soul start *******

sweet static nothingness

Licked from the goddess apocalypse
to the tips of our
touch
****
and release

It's such a ******* relief.

Reorganized minds
mend the missing peace
between the reverberations
of our heartbeats
beating the path
down the rabbit hole

Don't you want to come with me?
 Mar 2020
kenny
Woke up from the
American dream
like this,
Hungover
Panic sweat,

Swaddled in
a state
Of sleep paralysis

snuggled up
suckling
The chemical laced
**** of a succubus

Held down
Force fed
The fuel of a nightmare

Til I’m too numb
to give a ****
While I watch myself
**** myself;
Apathetic
medicated cuck

Edging,
Tease and deny
Tease and deny
NO RELEASE!

This unquiet mind
My soul is writhing inside
Caught between,
darkness and light
These lows or the highs

It just gets so uncomfortable
Inside the comfort zone
I just wanna unleash the beast!

I woke up like this
Finna get
back on my *******

mood swinging
panic attacks
And all the sweet rage

spoiler alert:
I’M BIPOLAR AS ****
Streaming right now
Binge and cringe all my episodes

(Live and in stereo)

Ima trash all
my meds tonight;
Bout to raw-dog
Real life;

I don’t know if
it’s a leap of faith
or am I about to
jump this shark
higher than the horse
that I rode in on?  

Sinking deeper and deeper
Deeper and deeper
Like Artax in the swamp
..You gotta fight the sadness

Cause those with no hope
Are so easy to control
You’re better off
Selling your soul to
The status quo

What a time
To be dead inside
So complacent
Pacified and prescribed

Emily Dickinson was right,
Much madness
so ******* divine-
But I sense we’ve been desensitized

There’s a displacement of madness
Plaguing the planet
They all got a hate fetish,
But they’re trying to mind-shame
You and me?
 Feb 2017
kenny
Like lightning striking
tenses my chest
with regret
at night

Every time I hear John Mayer,
I think of how I pirated
Battle Studies
in an attempt
to get down your pants

And as I drove down
to your school in Bloomington
it was the soundtrack
when I was inside of you
for those couple minutes

Giving whiskey-****
disappointment
a name
Like Heartbreak Warfare
 Feb 2017
kenny
To the girl with the pin-up dreams,
Keep reaching for them.

Like the time you reached out
Like a dream and gave me
that over-the-pants-hand-job.

In my car, after work,
waiting for your train to come,
After I did.
Happy Valentine's Day
 Jan 2017
kenny
“Burgundy sounds more poetic than maroon"
You say, in regards to your sweater.
-I’m just romanticizing it
tossed across
my room

As you push me
to the mattress
and strip me down
passed skin and bones

back to the vibrations
of my soul

Humming along,
are you a muse
or a siren song?

Are you rebirth
or are you just
another little death
of inspiration?

So fleeting.

I hate when you’re leaving,
because it leaves me longing
and pathetic

I’m just the impulsive one
with the most grandiose dreams.
Like I wanna give you everything
from the depths of these
****** up fantasies
With the most
golden ******* intentions

Because you’re the reason for
the ringing in my ear
when I feel like I’m onto something

The reason that the season
starts to make me feel better

So can you just stay
while I romanticize
your sweater?
 Sep 2016
kenny
Would you be my Ava Gardner
     When I submit myself to the darkness?
         The madness of my own racing thought theatre 
                             In my mind

My own sacred sanctuary 
                         lost
     Somewhere between the ruminated past
     And a catastrophized "way of the future"
Where I presently react

Would you ever bring me back?
     Before bath times
     And fetal positions

Back into the arms
     of infinity, space and all in between
'Cause all I feel is scared anymore

Washing my mind clean with your cosmic touch
     From a black hole back to star child 

Whispering,
       You will emerge beyond The Phoenix and The Full Moon.
                   Just rise, My Sun


Exploiting my inner madman 
     with all the right intentions

Little death in the dark
Reborn illuminated

*Way of the future
Way of the future
Way of the future...
Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E
 Aug 2016
kenny
Ambien Angel,
Hallucinate
a halo

to replace
the self-doubt
that you’ve got
wrapped around
your mind

We only talk
at times
of
Swirling
self-destructive
forces

I felt your
distress call
through the ether

Spiraling
down
down
wrapped
in a cloud
of smoke, whiskey
and Bukowski

There you were,
The American Spirit
staring back
from the
Apothic abyss
of red wine
and controlled
prescriptions.

We all
get so alone sometimes
in Tales of Ordinary Madness

It just makes sense
to let another
Siren sing our ships
towards crimson catastrophe

But you handle
the collisions
so gracefully

Looking so
God-**** divine
like your name

This time
Go lightly
and let’s float
away
 Jul 2016
kenny
Now that
I’ve told
you all my secrets

Won’t you come
in the night
and ****** me
with the truth?

Push me down,
and tie me to the bed
that I made
Freudian-slipping
between layers of
in vino veritas
conversations


When I manifested
from under the mask
where I just
want to be accepted
as both the light
and my shadow

Won’t you come
pull my dark passenger
from the
dark
depths
of my sacral chakra?

My deepest desires
spiraling out,
you've
got me
wrapped around
your finger

I am the snake
coiled around
the core
of the sweetest
fruit
I just want to
savor

Then slither
back home

To the
Goddess of the Abode

To decompress
this tension

To Rise up and
slit my throat
at the vortex
of expression
 Jan 2016
kenny
I'm never violent
unless it's self-inflicted

**** me for feeling
something
worthy of a heartbeat
right?

Pulsating my wrists
to my fists
and unleash vibrations
in a caustic manner

I will destroy the dreams
of Darling Wreckless,
wracking my brain
like Mara's
malicious temptations

A self-destructive
sequence
in a God-mode
fashion
 Dec 2015
kenny
No Romance,
just the way
you liked it.

Just the way
You ripped off
Your dress

And left me to
romanticize it
balled up
on my floor

Just the way
you teased and
denied
my poetic soul

You said it
felt so foreign

Like you were
never worthy
of the prose

You left me
Writhing and
Alone
and
I know
you know
You’re not perfect

I just wanted
you to feel
like a goddess
I worshiped
beyond words
even if you didn't
believe in something.

Believe me,
I did my best not to be
bitter

But your cynicism
was never ****

No one cares
What you don't
Like

You would
look into the
Grand Canyon
and just see a void.

Avoiding
the obviously
numinous

Like where
your heart
was

Before it was
split with a river
streaming your
constantly
pessimistic
consciousness.

Maybe I was too sweet
finishing last
like a nice guy
that you just
left salty

To
slide
down
the
throat
of your
thesis statement:

NO ROMANCE
 Nov 2015
kenny
At a crossroads again
With the ghost of my regrets
Spirit of the stairwell
We can only ascend

"We'll always have Shoe Factory Road"
she says
As she plunges the dagger
Into me

So slowly,
Taking her time
Twisting the blade
Deep
between
Bone
and the guts
I never spilled
Before her
Holy Matrimony

She tells me she'll
Always love me
Beyond physical means

Cutting even deeper
While she's everlasting
with my soul successor.

Standing on ceremony
I should have never
Held my peace.

At a crossroads again
with the ghost of my regrets
Spirit of the stairwell
*Only I can ascend.
This was particularly difficult for me to write. I reached a point where I was living in regret of an idea I romanticized to begin with. Growing up means watching the one that got away get married. There was an overwhelming sense of guilt about this. Then I thought to myself "Why? There's nothing I can do other than grow beyond this" It was a necessary intervention.
 Jul 2015
kenny
My friend the bartender
sports short shorts
and I can’t keep my eyes
off her little
purple ******* peeking along
the cusp of her waist
where olive skin and fabric contact

I can’t maintain eye contact
without fashioning her as an object
this little angel dancing
on the head of a pin

Or ******* symbol
when I let the id win

3 beers and 2 shots in
don’t blame me

I just turned 30
and this little goddess
just told me
my tab doesn’t exist

She just walked around the bar
wrapped her arms around me
and whispered in my ear
“Happy Birthday, kid"
Channeling a bit of Bukowski on my birthday.
 May 2015
kenny
She is the life breather.

She is the adventure.

She is the little death.

*She choked me here.
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