the finality of it all is agonizing
i'm not ready to leave forever
i wonder what it feels like to vanish
i just want to be a space sphere

how are you okay with the void?
i vote we say ***** it
and just become vampires

you can't scare me
with the concept of hell
you'd think, if you're there an eternity
you'd get used to it eventually

someone once told me
they believed the afterlife was a new earth
some call this hell
but for once
i hoped someone was right

I'm either dead
or in fear
the inbetween is nice
but still there are sides to the spectrum

yeah the dread is a little bit completely overwhelming
the famous daves billboard gives me a lot of anxiety
I watched a youtube video about "haunted" instagram posts
humanity has allowed all of this to happen
it's so ****** weird
humans are the weirdest ******* coincidence
maybe I need to listen to a different playlist
cut off this train of thought as abruptly possible
block it out until I die
that's what I've been doing this whole time, yeah?

there's not enough talk
about accepting death with no afterlife
I can't read hundreds of articles
on how to comfort myself of this fact

being suicidal was fine
since there was always that option
but now, that I don't want to die?
there's no way out of it
it's a little bit cruel, how that works

they don't understand my horror
when I tell them 'I'm afraid to die'
they don't understand
how this feeling is new to me
how, for once, I could see myself aging
how, now, it seems the stakes keep raising
joy cannot be ripped from you
if you do not possess it
but now that I do
this feeling is new
for the first time, in my short life
I'm truly afraid to die

solitude is a favorable theme
however ironic
to my human orientation
and tendency to love
sometimes that means to live without

it hurts, real bad
I can only say that to myself
‘less I submit to selection
nature’s way of letting me go
but that’ll hurt worse

finding solace in thinking
that death comes in multiple stages
rather than an instantaneous there-then-not
to live is within our own conscience
and who's to say that we do not live elsewhere
to be a string in another memory
that is my only life after death