I know this didn’t happen, but it is how I am currently, i think.

Who am I?
I am me,
I am not to die
I am free.
I have not bled
I have cried
I have fled
I have lied
I killed myself
I killed that half
I killed it for good health
I killed it so i never have to experience it’s wrath.
I experienced the pain of life’s cruel counterpart
I experienced it all without dying
I experienced the pain of never losing heart
I experienced it all and I’m still standing

Why did I need to leave
It was so much fun dragging the knife through
1 for every time I shakily breathe
On a wave of pain, we flew.
I have always loved that other side
It breaks me that I left
He just wants to hide
Leave me to carry it, to heft.
I have no words for my treacherous acts
I hate me down to every last shred
I want to rip them apart with... possibly an axe?
He means nothing to me, i will turn him red
If it’s the last thing i will ever do alive
I will **** him, or at least stop his thrive.

You need to leave now
I’m not doing this anymore
I don’t feel the urge. I don’t know how.
I’m not submitting to that pain, I’m not it’s *****
If i end this, so do you.
Or even better, just leave.
It will be better for the both of us if you do.
I know you want my pain every time I breathe
It’s hard to stop, i know we both love it
The reassurance of the cold knife and hot pain
It’s quite a nice thing to do before a potential fit.
There is just too much that i can gain
I don’t wanna stop but i know I should
I don’t need any help though, it’s all good.

Don’t you see,
The ruby red blood?
We love the pain, you and me.
Bother sides of me are mud
So we should just let it out dude
I love that we can finally get on the same page
I love the blood, i love the cuts crude
Now that we bleed, we have left that cage
We are truly free, flying above all
Not listening to anyone’s pleas
No matter how much the beckon or call
To us they are nothing more than fleas
You shouldn’t trust them, ever.
Just trust me, I’m your benevolent endeavor.

You’ve gone insane, I’ve gone insane
We are two in one so we both are as such
Listen to yourself, you cannot live without the pain
I don’t get why you love the bliss so much
I know it feels so great
I know it’s extremely addicting
But it also carries a lot of emotional weight.
we’ve stopped feeling the pain we are inflicting
Is that a problem? We could find another spot
Stop. Get out of my head
You are a ****, you mentally weigh me down a lot
I just need to forget, to lie in bed
You make me fight this endless strife
Just shut up, all I want anymore is my knife

You know I love this, you do as well
We all love the feeling of the dripping blood
I know this feeling brings us closer to hell,
But I cannot live through this emotion flood
I need it to stay alive and sane.
The feeling is good too, it’s bliss
I love all the self inflicted pain
I want more, everyday, without miss.
You may think I’m out of line, I’m crazy
But i know you love it too
You are a *****, you’re lazy
I deal with that **** everyday, and so do you.
We need our emotion vents to let out the crud.
Why not again use our own blood

Why are you here?
I never wanted you to exist
Yet you stay and cause me self fear
You never cease to persist
Wanting me to bleed
Maybe even to beat myself dead
Its all a mystery, a warning I won’t heed
I never wanted to let out so much red...
I ******* hate you
Hiding behind a shield of lies
Its all you ever seem to do,
The fake tears, but you never heed my cries
You need to leave me alone
You are a fiend that needs to atone

Jun.9.2019

I’m bleeding happiness
I watch it flow, a cheerful ruby red.
No time for the cold regrets and darkness
I cannot go back upon the path i was lead
The pain is the best thing that I’ve felt
It’s a wonderful, blissful feeling.
It makes me fall in a temporary relief. i gladly melt.
Until my body starts retching and reeling,
Im keeping things the way they’ve been.
I love the blood, i love to watch it flow
It has a wonderfully rose sheen
Especially when the wound starts to grow
Why cannot you, or even anyone see,
That i am ok with this happening to me?