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 Mar 2014
the pain
is now cutting
so deeply
i can't think
and i have
to be strong
for the ones
who need
to be strong
i have to put on this mask
a mask
with smiles
a mask that says
"No, she's happy, don't worry.
The scars on her wrists don't exist."
but frankly
i can't even breathe
or handle
this anymore.

i'm done.

 Mar 2014
Days of Dawn
I can't feel the warmth inside my chest,
of a racing heart or rapid breaths
is that bad?

The walls around me are crumbling,
they're letting in all the pain
is that bad?

I can't remember what sunshine feels like,
all I know is blood and darkness
is that bad?

The demons of my past and present,
swarm me like moths to light
is that bad?

My facade of happiness and lies,
is almost see through
is that bad?

I'm one step from oblivion,
and I want to take it  
is that bad?

Please give me an answer
because I can't hold on

 Mar 2014
It's all in your head
Those whispers of revenge
That soothe your racing heart
Making it hard to swallow

You’re safe and sound
While you watch your friends
Hit the ground
You let them down again

Raise up
To your call of praise
To hand out those weapons
Which make them feel brave

Forget who you really are
Wear the mask of your disguise
Turn your head before you shoot the gun
And never look them in the eyes

You played the game once again
But the game is now your goal
You can take lives, but the victims instead
Take a bigger part of your soul

Your eyes of stone look soft to me
I can read what’s on your mind
It seems you’ve decided once again
To **** one of your own kind

It's all in your head
Those voices who ****
Who draw out your weapon
And give you their will

They’re safe and sound
Resting face first on the ground
Who dug this early grave for them?

Stand tall
Hold your head up high
Hold that gun in your hand
Bear no life in your eyes

Forget who you really are

It's all in your head
blood-hungry war leaders
 Mar 2014
Slumbered scratching into a bedside notebook
   lying in darkness under a thick blanket of revelation
Afraid that lamplight may blind these 3am eyes
   to the dim, wispy glow of mystical comprehension

Trusting that valued mysteries will later be deciphered
   from this barely legible scrawl of the night
Refusing to squander such moments of divine lucidity
   captured in a poetic hand written outside the lines

Reluctant to wait until morning lest the light of day
   exposes a tenuous relationship to reality
Causing rays of enlightenment to glance off its surface
   in beams of obscure and superficial logic

Tangential truths
   scribbled in the dark
 Mar 2014
the walls are
closing in
surrounding me in
the puddles of my own pity
and sadness
i feel as though
i'm being gagged
like I'm choking
on something that
isn't really
some people say
its the sadness eating me up inside
and others say
its not a big deal,
but they don't know
how i feel when it's
3 a.m.,
while the moonlight shines through
my white blinds,
onto my pale face,
while invisible tears
stream down my face,
onto my wrists,
covered in blood.


— The End —