Sometimes,

Every little thing

Gets

Under

My

Skin

I didnt feel woman

Enough

I didnt even feel human

Enough.

I'm so depressed,
And it isnt yout fault,
Please,
Dont go,
I cant hold my head up.

I use to be a person
There is body
But no soul
I am a demon in a skin suit
Hate me

Depression peeking as the sun recedes more frequently; I am trying to stand on my own, trying to make my own home.

Buy me a ******* ticket, I want to leave.

But I want to take him with me.

But I love you.

Then I remember it's all not me; my whole life is a mirage with me in between in the desert.

I hate my brain, I hate my pain, I hate the way I want to stay ******* sane.

I just want to
Lay in bed
All day
Sleep, sleep, sleep
Away

I cant muster the energy to look
At myself in the mirror
But people still expect me
To lift my feet
To lift my head
And
Smile

I wont wash a dish,
I certainly dont look at the clothes,
I cancel my plans last minute when I should have just said no,
I think my friends are conspiring against me,
And I cant leave my husband alone, what if he finds someone else better equip for our home.

I cant muster the energy to look at myself in the mirror,
But I still get up,
I still get up and go to work,
I am just waiting for the time
Time to pass me by

I'm running out of energy for these cycles
Im running out of energy waiting on my energy
I am in deep water, with crashing waves
Everytime I stand
I am knocked back down
Gulping for air
Only getting more water
Waiting to tumble back to the surface

I cant muster the energy to look at myself in the ******* mirror.

I have nothing to say
When I
Am this way