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 Mar 2019
olivia anne
letting go of you
is going to be so difficult;
part of me thinks:
why put forth the effort?
 Mar 2019
olivia anne
ian
I’m starting to finally realize
that you aren’t at all right for me.
It’s taken me almost an entire year
and a lot of sleepless nights
of crying and talking and staring at the ceiling,
and I don’t know if I’ll ever completely be able to stop wanting you in my life,
but it’s worth a shot.
Maybe I’ll let you go
instead of living a life that revolves around
a boy who decides day by day if i’m worth his time.
im just tired of spending every waking moment thinking about you and knowing i’m just someone you might think of from time to time.
 Mar 2019
olivia anne
you asked me who these poems were about
and i didn’t have the heart to tell you
that almost every word
i’ve ever written
has been for you.
all for you.
You told me to just find him and go for it. It’s you you idiot.
 Mar 2019
olivia anne
I’m sorry that i’ve tried so hard to get you to love me.
It’s like we’re on two little boats in the ocean
floating in opposite directions
and i’m paddling faster and faster against life’s current
towards you.
maybe i should just drop my paddles and float.
 Mar 2019
olivia anne
I was finally starting to rid myself of you
and your persuasion,
your crooked smile
and nice guy demeanor
that left me to your will,
but then you came along and asked a simple question
one that showed you might just be thinking about me.
so here I am writing poetry about you instead of deleting your number.
no, i’m not, and it hadn’t even occurred to me that you might be.
 Mar 2019
olivia anne
i made up this glorified version of you in my mind
who was someone i could see myself
loving for the rest of my life.
the real you is someone
who goes back and forth between
needing me
and acting like i’m not even there.
We were in an “acting like i’m not even there” phase for a while and then you asked if I was going to the basketball game tonight. It was weird to hear from you.
 Feb 2019
olivia anne
maybe i’m losing you
because we went so fast
and time is finally catching up with us.
i wrote this 3 months ago but it’s even more true these days.
 Jan 2019
olivia anne
i loved you for almost a year
and for just one moment ,
you needed me;
you wanted me, too.
and i can’t even describe how powerful it made me feel.
 Jan 2019
olivia anne
you act like you’re all high and mighty,
like you’re the shining example for men everywhere.
the truth is
you’re just as bad as the boys you condemn,
luring me in with charm
and the “nice guy” attitude.
you’re not perfect;
stop telling people you are.
for the boy who flirts with me , while his girlfriend sits next to him on the couch , and the girl he’s in love with kisses her boyfriend on vacation in nyc.
 Jan 2019
olivia anne
i’m starting to notice all your flaws.
you touch people too often in conversation,
and the right side of your mouth turns up when you talk.
you’re so awkward when you play basketball
and your voice is weird.
it’s got a country quality to it
and if you listen hard enough
you can hear the lisp on your s’s.
you’re not near as perfect as i once thought you were.
i don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
 Jan 2019
olivia anne
i
the day after we met
i told you
that i thought God put you in my life
to help me,
and you said you felt like we understood each other.
how did we form such a deep connection
having never seen each other in person,
and having only known each other for less than 24 hours?
that’s the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night.
“i feel this weird sense of understanding” then why aren’t we supposed to be together?
 Jan 2019
olivia anne
i had a dream about seeing you this weekend
followed by a dream in which i was in a car accident.
i feel like that’s trying to tell me something.
 Jan 2019
olivia anne
i’m tired of spending every waking hour thinking about you
i’m tired of consoling you when you’re sad
and i’m tired of thinking that just because we connected so fast on such a deep level we’re soulmates that just haven’t had our time yet.
i’m starting to think that it’s never going to be our time,
and surprisingly i’m okay with that.
i still love you though, i just don’t think it’s in the way i have for so long.
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