Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 Nov 2018
unknown
Love
Love comes and goes
Love punches you in the face when you do something “stupid”
It dies and gets resurrected and kills you more
Stabs you rededately
Killing you fast but slowly
Everyday passes and all you can do is sulk
In pain and suffering
This is our life
This is my life
I try and stand tall but just fall to the floor
Sinking lower into the lava you have set for yourself
Because you knew you would fall
You knew you would suffer
So just make yourself suffer more
Then you fin another love thinking its going to change you
But it doesn’t
You still find yourself at night wanting to be held
But no matter what you cry
You cry silently to yourself
As you picture the future
And figure you are going to die alone
Because no matter what or who you are
Forever Alone
 Nov 2018
unknown
As I watch the days role by
Every second every minute
I long for that blade.
I wish for that blade.
I have lust for that blade.
I didn’t cut today and I am proud.
But ever since then I feels so numb
I feel like I cant live without it.
And during that moment
When they got flushed down the toilet
I thought I could live without it
But I cant.
As I tear apart a razor just to get the blade.
I have realized how I have become accustomed to the feeling.
The feeling of want, lust
I have an addiction
An addiction to cutting
But I don’t want to break the promises i’ve made.
But I need it
Want it
Lust for it
I need the pain in my life
And as I take that blade
Swipe it across my skin
I feel a rush of adrenaline
I feel happy for once in my life
I become numb from the pain
Okay it time to go deeper
As the blood rushes from my skin
Down my arm
Of my skin into the sink
As I wash of the blade
And my arm
I feel happy
As if it was meant to be
As if this addiction has helped me
I feel sorry for breaking the promise
But happy for feeling a thing
But when the people find out
What I just did
They will become sorry
Sad and broken
Just as I am
Sad blade cutting
 Nov 2018
unknown
Now as I feel nothing,
My body shakes in fear.
That what I once did to it,
Will happen again.
Now when that blade comes near,
A tear comes from my eye.
Because I promise never to cut again.
But now here I am trembling with pain.
This pain I cannot bother.
The long sleeves that I wear,
Are really are ******.
Now that you’ve seen what I’ve done,
My time is running out.
For what I once feared,
I now lust for it.
That death will come near.
And I wont feel pain anymore,
And that I have died
I want you to know
That everything you have done to me
Killed me inside
That this pain I have suffered from,
Has now become unbearable.
 Nov 2018
unknown
As you stab your knife into my aching heart repeatedly
I loved you
I didn’t
I weren’t brave enough to tell me
You weren’t honest
You brought my hopes up for nothing
You told me you liked me
Making me fall for you
You picked me up when I fell
But now I fall into another arms
And you stomp on my face
Every word you said left a bad remark
Every action you did for me
Telling me little white lies
Its like looking through a looking glass
I was too dumb to see the truth
We had our thing
Video Chats and calls
Always talking,
Till you became distant
Weren’t responding
Ignoring me completely
Making me feel worthless
Till I asked you one day if you still liked me
You told me you didn’t feel the same way anymore
Bringing me down into my endless plunder
Your soothing voice became satan to me
I was acting okay,
But inside,
I was falling apart
I saw it coming
Thinking I was ready
But I was
I didn’t sleep
I didn’t eat
Making me feel like a mistake
Even though you said I wasn’t
But one thing you never understand is
I HAVE FALLEN FOR YOU AND IT WASN”T WORTH ANYTHING
 Nov 2018
unknown
Anxiety,
Another mental illness that give people a lack of interest in other things.
Anxiety one of the worst mental illness you can have.
Gives people no hope, no motivation to get their butts out of bed.
All you wanna do is look at the ceiling silently crying all hopes and dreams away.
And sometime you can’t even cry,
So you just sit there feeling numb.
Trying to make yourself cry because you wanna feel something.
Anxiety hold me hostage inside of my bed.
Anxiety makes me have no hope.
But I’ve learned how to turn to numbness, to being busy, and the busy by occupying your self doing something.
My busy, looks like laying in bed, watching t.v.
But when my mom left,
That busy changed.
It went from laying in bed,
To crying a little looking at old photos of they happy times.
My busy changed to wishing I had a different life.
And I told everyone I was busy because,
I didn’t want to be bothered.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted to feel something.
But those people that gives us hope.
We thank.
We want them in our life constantly.
Just like me.
My person lives in Ohio.
We video chat everyday,
We talk daily.
So my happiness lasts for an hour.
Then disappears into the abyss.
But happiness doesn’t last a lifetime.
We have our good days and the dark days.
Everyone says “Just be happy”
They don’t understand the struggles of being happy
That we have to search for a while just to find it.
We have a lifetime of loneliness, sadness, grief, and envy.
That people with depression, agony, anxiety, and lust,
Are just “Acting out to get attention”
Or just “Are faking it”
But those comments hurt,
Just like a stab wound.
We love,
We lose,
We live,
We die,
We grieve.
And in the end,
We are just items of merchandise.
That we get sold form person to person,
To trust,
To love,
To die together.
But once the love dies.
We move on get sold to another,
And another,
Until new die.
Because love doesn’t last a lifetime.
 Nov 2018
unknown
A mental illness because our brains are not wired correctly.
Something that people won’t understand until they have it.
It make our days darker.
Like we see no color.
Some of us may see color,
But everything had a darker part of it.
Thats what we see.
We can’t see the beauty in things, in people, and most of the time, ourselves.
We cover our face in makeup,
We put on clothes that make us look “attractive”
We cut ourselves just because we need to feel,
And when someone doesn’t like us,
We change ourselves just to be “accepted”
We change everything,
Our clothes,
Our hair,
Our lifestyle.
And when someone asks us if we are okay,
We respond with I’m fine.
But when we feel strong enough to throw are the blades.
We become desperate,
We tear shaving razors apart to get to the blades.
We cry silently to ourselves.
We become numb enough to slice all our hopes and dreams away.
But when we stop,
We long for more.
The razor takes control of us,
Becoming our master.
And when people abuse us,
No matter if its Mentally, Verbally, or Physically.
It doesn’t hurt.
We stab our selves to become strong.
We think its going to make us strong but in the end.
It makes us weaker.
We feel like we can’t last more than a day with out it.
 Nov 2018
unknown
I wish,
I wish I had a better life,
One that I didn’t have to rely on pills to keep me happy,
One that my parents were still together,
One where I was happy not depressed 24/7
One that my anxiety makes me want to stay in bed
One that my family was normal
Not a suicidal daughter,
Not a brother that stays in his room,
Not a mother thats a former Alcoholic and lives a state away,
Not a father that’s gone 24/7 and comes home when your sleep.
One that everyone is together,
One that people will understand how it feels to be depressed or anxious.
One where I am happy.
Not one that your significant other lives in Ohio and barely gets to talk to you,
Not one that you look at couples and with that was you with him,
All that you get with him is video calls or phone calls.
One that you don’t have scars on your wrists because you can’t handle everything at once,
But life doesn’t care.
It throws everything at once,
Just says oh your sad,
Im not sorry.
I wish
I wish
I wish
I freaking wish,
I wish this,
I wish that,
When is it my turn to get what I want?
When is it my turn to be broken,
Or sad.
No one understands what it feels like to have to pick up pieces hiding the fact that your sad.
I WISH
I WANT
I CANT 
I NEED
I 
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I AM NOTHING
 Nov 2018
unknown
The dark red liquid flows from my arms,
Covering the sink and floor.
Crying inside but not outside.
That I have just made another mistake.
As soon as the blade touched my skin and slid from side to side,
My gut clenched in a paralyzing fear.
“Now I think I understand how this world can over come a man.”
Whispered in my ear softly
My earbuds played a song that makes me regret everything.
“Not that I could, or that I would, Let it burn, under my skin, LET IT BURN”
I quickly changed the song,
The wet liquid dripping from my eyes.
Maybe it was meant to be,
Maybe I was supposed do it,
Maybe not,
Who knows,
Why do people do this,
My body trembles every second,
With every voice,
And every loud sound.
In another room somewhere else,
You can hear the silent screams of a little girl,
Her dreams are broken,
Her eyes are dull,
Her body covered in new and old cuts
She feels unwelcome.
She wants to be okay.
But she lets her depression control her.
Somewhere else,
A man in Japan hangs his self
Because he feels unwelcome.
He goes to the store,
Buys his gun and bullets,
And goes to the middle of a forest.
Says goodbye to everyone through his phone.
And writes a letter that reads,
“Dear Family,

I’m so sorry I had to put you through this. You don’t deserve it, but I do. I deserve to be dead. I deserve to not live. I’ve been through the good, the bad, and the evil, but through it all I have to say goodbye.

Love,
X”
 Nov 2018
unknown
Death surrounds you
Everywhere you go
It’s lurking in the shadows.
Waiting for the right time.
Waiting for the right time
Waiting to punch and take your life away in a snap.
It’s planning
It’s stroking your head
Making you feel calm
While its stabbing you in the back
And you can’t seem to feel it anymore.
You close your eyes and take your last breath,
As it pulls you in a forever slumber.
Death is not scary.
Being alive is the real scare
 Nov 2018
unknown
Everything is not okay
Now don’t ask me anything
Please just don’t
I feel like blowing up
I feel like screaming
It’s one of those days.
I’m in pain
I’ll admit it
If you can’t tell
I’m broken
I can’t think straight
I can’t talk
I can’t talk
I can’t breathe
The air is suffocating me
Just like hanging yourself
It feels like an anxiety attack
Everything is spinning
I’m shaking in fear
My silent screams are loud
The voices are louder
Just please let it go
Cut my life short
**** me already
I cant feel it
I can feel the hate
The anxiety
Everything is so bad
Everything is out of place
My heart beats faster with everything I do
My heart can just break away
Just like a wine glass
Just like my soul
Just like everything and anything else
But one thing I can say
Please don’t ask me if I’m okay
We all know the answer
Don’t ask me about my family life
I know how I feel
And don’t ask me why I’m sad
For you haven’t been through what I’ve been through
And you will not understand
Why I’m in pain
 Nov 2018
unknown
I don’t know who I am anymore
One day I’m glad
And the next I’m sad
I shake and tremble
With every step I take
We used to be perfect
We used to be family
But now that you’re gone
I spent know anything
All I want is his loving embrace
His scent of his body spray
But since your gone,
I am not home,
I am not here,
I always transport my thoughts into real things
A way to make me feel like he is there.
A way to make me feel real
Because since he’s been gone,
I have been falling apart.
I have never felt so alone
Next page