Trigger warning: Self harm, cutting, suicidal thoughts
sometimes my mind falls ill
twists and warps my thoughts
lets all the demons in freely
to ransack my sanity
somewhere in the chaos
in the
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there's a whisper of a thought...
it's not kind...
it craves pain...
it flirts with death...
it is this voice that makes me wonder
if it wouldn't be better if i were bleeding
or maybe if i were starving
or maybe if i were high
it makes me want to abuse myself
to punish, to torture
to remember i'm alive
to excite me
all i want is destruction
defile abuse torture harm
"you deserve this....."
"don't you want to see the damage?"
"your heart will race.... adrenaline in your veins......"
"brand yourself with the marks of suffering..."
"make yourself sick......."
"i know you've been curious."
"make the pain real."
"enjoy it."
i must control the voices
else they get too loud...
and as they grow in power
i quickly desire to be terribly abusive
to DESTROY MY BODY
because this....
this disgusting flesh...
really shouldn't exist
maybe it'll matter