please know that I love you more than the stars, the sun, and the skies could hold.

but I don't know how to fix something without damaging it the process.

you are fragile, and my hands have unintentionally fractured you countless times. I know this, even though you've never explicitly told me.

I dance on eggshells around you: I am atlas, pirouetting across an empire of thin ice, just so I don't mar you with my words.

swallowing conversations and feelings is a talent we both possess. to spare the pain of the other, we dampen the truth. we drink the fires of resentment and leave them to ferment.

I cannot fix this without potentially damaging it further.

I'm a storm with skin. my collateral damage knows no bounds, spares no mercy. you know this. but hear me, and heed me closely.

I don't paint you as the villain. you aren't the martyr. we are equally responsible for this damage and decay. the rot of something once beautiful.

yet I cannot fix something without causing further damage.

we are a two way street. growth of beauty cannot flourish in stagnation.

please, do not test the limits of my volatility. I cannot mend the tatters of thirteen years with a single spool of thread.

I refuse to swallow fermented resentment. I walk on eggshells carrying mountains for you no more.

this tapestry will end in one of two ways: opulent splendor, or devoured by living flames.

I cannot fix something without destroying it in the process.

Drifting back to the ocean
like it never even happened
unraveled dreams washed clean
crystalline renaissance bestowed    
by wind mountain spring waters
rising from the heart
of mother earth

A remnant light glows deeply
of one love's untamed wonders
an unfastened feather glides abandoned
rushing waters floating
alighting pilgrim blissfully sails on
stranded without wings
a fallen wild feather free as bird
wanting a place to be let free

Sun in the summer air
wind in buoyant feathered hair
softly dancing upon
wild river restless ripples
to feel the love of holding on
adrift asunder whence it touched on
destiny's far-reaching
journey yonder
holding onto flowing rivers
rolling towards the sea

The incoming tidal waters blossom
surge to greet wind river's gentle saunter
converging slackening passage
salt on feral feathered fragments
arousing currents babbling swirl
imbibed by the impassioned sea

Wild rivers' born intentions
a different kind of drifting passage
to kiss the distant horizon
where the sown sunlight settles
submerged in shoreless ocean waters
    to be free all at sea at last


someone you used to know  2017

Shhh! no one listens
To you oh weary soul
They too have their own burdens
So you must carry your cross alone

Shhh! no one cares
To walk with you in your darkness
Oh how you would've showcased
Your shattered feeling of unrest

Shhh! no one demands
To hear your lousy side of the story
You are but a king turned to a beggar
An unimportant, forgotten memory

And Shhh! Thou must hide
And cover yourself with mud
It is ***** but fitting
To your tarnished blood!

Alas! no one hears
Or cares what you will end up to be
Alas! My heart be strong...
For in solitude you must be.

My cruel time, you inspire me to write.
I love the way you flow, run and stagnate,
Invading my mind day and through the night,
Always dreaming about the surrogate.

Let me compare you to a contender?
You are more stoic and more immortal.
Cool frost nips the robins of December,
And wintertime has the righteous cortile.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.
I love your mortal event, length and age.
Thinking of your portal length fills my days.
My love for you is the temporal page.

Now I must away with a gentle heart,
Remember my dual words whilst we're apart.

(C) Anavah 2018

I want my love for myself
To overflow
And I want my overflow of love
To seep over onto you
But for now
My cup is empty
And maybe you can sense
That I have nothing to offer you

On those quiet gray days,
My mind wanders.
Echoes of anger and hurt
Greet it as they paint the walls red.
They haunt my footsteps
They haunt my memories
Making me aware of how wrong,
Absolutely everything was.
Make me wish for that time,
When I can live and forget.