i tried to sleep.
i gripped those dreams that keep
slipping through my trembling fingers
and wondered if i should ever
hold them tenderly and securely
with tumultuous oceans brewing in my eyes
i again begged them,
stay a little longer please
and if not then allow me to
cleave my fingers from my hands so
i don't have to worry about holding anything anymore
i really tried to sleep
but i don't know how to anymore

hello! it's been so long
it's been so long since you
talked to me like this
like this we were whispering
in each other's ears like
not even the august leaves
could have part in our affair
not even the august leaves
could know what we were
it's such a shame isn't it?
isn't it? that those leaves,
drifting down so sadly,
became september leaves
september leaves that knew
only the tears that we shed
the tears that we shed
and now the april leaves will
never know who we were
never know who you were
never know who i was
just who you and i are now
it's been so long since you
talked to me like this i almost
remembered how much i missed you

a single note slips out of the chord
as the others cling to safe harmony
she turns the soundwaves to crackling lightning
she becomes the tension of a catastrophic earthquake
she pushes the limits of the dam and threatens to flood
she is dissonance
and she will hold out before her resolution

i hear
chewing, chewing, chewing
i think it's my
lingering negativity
feasting on leftover feelings.
chewing, chewing, chewing
feast, i say.
eat till you're filled,
then eat me entirely too.
chewing, chewing, chewing
don't
leave
a
single
crumb
of
memory.

i saw someone
kissing your eyelids as you fell asleep
wrapping their arms gently around you
and pulling you ever closer
i heard their
soft breath tickle your neck
all the way from here
and no i can't really hear that far
but also i can, you know?
i'm watching them
unravel the impossible enigma that is you
with effortless swagger and irresistability
while you gaze into their eyes
and i
saw

you are a universe, love
let me be just one star
in your infinite galaxies

in eons the Earth
found the means to create
a wonderous world populated
with lush forests, rippling oceans,
and life bursting from every corner

and yet, the planet
still spins in the same direction
the moon still
borrows her light from the sun

then tell me
what's the use of
wishing on shooting stars
they've seen every unchanging moment
they know each story ends the same way

the flowers i've planted
have never bloomed, nor felt spring
all these years i believed
with enough water i could do
something
anything

perhaps i need to
plant my flowers elsewhere
or perhaps i should
accept this broken universe

the sky sprawled out across the atmosphere
the sun melted into a rich, bursting orange
and then into a deep, mellow lavender
clouds like sharp strokes on a canvas
drifted so slowly they
seemed to be suspended onto that artwork

from my vantage point,
having exhausted myself in study and in loneliness,
that sky seemed to knock on my heart's door
and leak into what cracks i had sustained
yesterday's despair seemed so far away in that moment
for once i admired the present for
what a gift that sight had been

for such an array of beauty
i had no words to describe
but after giving it some thought
i feel your name would fit it best

i wonder what your name
looks like in my handwriting
if i weren't as shy as i am
i would have overcrowded a notebook
just of the way your i's are dotted
what frightens me is that
your hands don't agonize over my name
don't at least motion the symbols in the air
much less write them
and i wonder what my name
looks like in your handwriting
if you curl the e the same i would curl yours
or if you bestow your personal touch upon it
either way it would look beautiful
i would adore any name you'd write for me

i wonder what your name
looks like in my handwriting
but honestly i worry that
i cannot do it justice

with the break of dawn
     i feel hunger following my sleep
arrives the warmth of the sun
     and the warmth of fresh breakfast
beside me is an indentation in the bed
     following its scent i linger on sugar
your scent still lingers in the blankets
     its irresistable; i'm hooked on this flavor
i hear your footsteps like shy murmurs
     sweet blueberries and soft muffin bread
lifting my eyes to meet yours finally
     i find solace in its simple beauties
you are my sunrise my dear
     the day is not complete without you

i live slowly.
i chew slowly, letting sweets and spices melt on my tongue
i write slowly because the right words come to patient minds
i fall asleep slowly so i can reflect on the gift of yesterday
and i awaken slowly when i am ready for morning's light
i drive slowly when i can,
and i run slowly, for the beauty of the scenic route
i fall in love slowly, carefully, fully,
and i may fall out of it, but even slower

see just as a flower waits until the warmth of spring
before she blooms,
i, too, am always
looking for a spring to bloom for
and i often find it
in moments that people slip past too quickly

and when i bloom,
when i am immersed in the warmth of life,
i bloom beautifully