Give me some of that vitamin H, so my body can sigh
Sit awail, I'll nod a bit, and kiss this world's problems goodby
There'll be no more tears, no need to cry
As my mind is carried off on high
Body so relaxed it forgets to breath
Where I have floated off to, there seems to be no need
With this vitamin running through my veins
I don't feel the need to plant a bullet in my brain
When thoughts of death start to close in
I turn and run to my new friend
It's all a matter of desperation
Locked up tight in my situation

Dear Addiction, could you please stop knocking on my door?
        I already have your ***** syringes scattered about my floor.
               You keep on telling me that I want more
        But I’m not very sure.
When you pierce my skin everything stills
        Even though I hate it it feels so much better than the pills
                I don’t want to do anything you have taken my will
        Not only that, you’ve taken everything, including all of my dollar bills
I know that feeling of dry mouth too well.
        They tell me that I can stop but honestly, I can’t tell
                Right now it seems like the only way out of this is a bullet shell
         I don’t know why I crave you when you bring me so much hell
When you crawl your way back into my veins
        Those first hits of pleasure make me go insane
                I start to remember why I got on this crazy train
        But then I remember just how badly you’ve ****** up my brain
I wish I could get your illness out of my head.
        They tell me that I am one twentieth of a gram from ending up dead
                Yet no matter how many warnings are said
        You seem to be the only reason to get out of bed.
I have lied for you.
         I have ****** for you.
                I have done for many awful things for you.
         And I will most likely die because of you.
Dear Addiction, why do you make this so tough?
        They say that abusive relationships aren’t made out of love
                And I know the way you treat me is rough
        But I cannot help what I love.
They say that all you do is harm.
        Yet when my happiness comes into me through a needle in my arm
                And my brain tells me that I should be alarmed
        All I can do is crave your harm.
Your harm makes me feel like I am whole.
        But it also seems to drag me further into the hole.
                It seems that you have taken my soul
        Getting you out of my life is a faraway goal.
Dear Addiction, you’ve hit me with a huge smack.
        You’ve shown me how easy it is for life to get out of whack
                I probably should have stopped before your first attack
        But you had seen to put my life back on track.
Dear Addiction, you fill up my hunger.
        But at the same time I’m starting to feel more and more like a jumper
                I hate you more than I’ve hated any other
       You are my most hated lover.
Dear Addiction,
         I’m giving you an eviction.
                I never even gave you any permission
         To take away my ambitions.
Dear Addiction, I want to send you away.
         But you are still knocking at the door where I stay
                You always do know how to get your way.
        Time to go back to my decay.
Dear Addiction
        Stop ******* knocking. I’m coming!

♡° ⊙ • ⊙ °♡
This place in my heart
There...
intimately aware
     Deep tenderness
Imbued with
illuminessence
Moonflowers
opening in the fullness
of the Moon's light
     Tonight
wrapped tight
threads of fear
Mama Pain
too great to fight
     A ragged slice
overflowing
with hurt by
unkind words
thoughtlessly
thrown my way
Self inflicted pain
when I doubt my inherent
Knowledge and Strength
     I know this part
of my heart
that holds
the wounded
collections of me
Keeping at bay
the ache that
lives within
     The Blessing is
that Love
surrounds
Wraps around
with Healing light
Shining within
to Hold The Power
     Allowing me respite
from the Sacred Locket
held in this place of
My Heart
♡° ⊙ • ⊙ °♡

Copyright © 2016. Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved

related poems...
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1483839/19/
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1465555/knick-knacks/
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1181941/it-hurts/

Please pass me the spoon
I need a hug from Jesus and I need it soon
My body needs to relax till it forgets to breath
Don't worry about the marks you can cover them with sleeves
A little ***** and the pain will all fade away
Let me nod out, I'll deal with it another day
Let my mind get lost in the sway
It's the ritual of the needle and the spoon
It's the hug from Jesus that can't come to soon

She whispers to me in the dead of night
I scream for her in the bright daylight
She's my sweetest siren, she sings  a fatal song
Such a rush, falling headlong
In her embrace nothing can go wrong
With her venom, I feel I belong

With a single fang
She spikes my vein
A sudden rush
The quiet hush
A body sigh
Touching the sky
Nodding out
No voice to shout
Wonderful phenomenon
Worries gone

She whispers to me in the dead of night
I scream for her in the morning light
Responsibility she slays
Chases memories away
My beautiful queen
Erases what I've seen
I have succumbed
I have become
In every way
Her prey

I had the Needle in my arm,but couldn't take the Plunge,
Like a Fencer Poised to do some harm,but somehow couldn't make the Lunge,
my life has gone to **** lately to be honest fellow chasers of the Muse,
so I started Chasing Dragons amongst other systems of abuse,
I made a new pal! Sal,my Dealer,what a Pal that Sal!,
he told me I was wasting time with Tinfoil,Lighter and all...
So I got my instructions (Safety first use clean gear!),
and Needle in vein,Thumb Poised I heard a whisper in my ear,
it said
Life's not so bad,compare yourself to millions without food,
or clean water or a future,or the horror of abuse ,
so with a Sting of shame I pulled the Stinger out and snapped the Wasp in half in disgust,
pulled out the rest of my stash and it duly got Flushed.
so that's why you haven't seen me lately Hello Poetry,sorry pals!...
*and there's a poster up looking for a missing Scumbag name of Sal

You are a drug
handcrafted by the Devil.
Addiction came after
a single touch,
always craving “just one more.”
Everything used to feel like a dream,
but I don’t think
I’m dreaming anymore.
Traces of you still flow
through my veins.
I don’t want to be addicted anymore.

swallow the stars
whole.

glow from the inside out
as the pain of what you've done
spreads seeping through your body
filling your veins
with excruciating light.

close your eyes against it and
find it's to no avail
the bright follows, the light suspends
behind your eyes, pinpricks
finding their way out
working their way in.

sell yourself for borrowed silver
scatter it on the ground as later
you cry out for a redemption
that never came.

finally
submit to the silence
you've swallowed the stars now
and there is no one else
there is just becoming
numb.