During sleepless nights
Sometimes I was afraid of sleep
Because to some extent
It was like death.
But unbearable the pang
I murmured sleep !,sleep !
I did not know
When I slept.
When woke up in the morning
I felt the satisfaction
Of the sleep I had.

As I sit alone on the shore
of a desolate, gray ocean of tears
with an aching in my heart
for the time I have lost,
I find myself wishing before I go,
that you would think of me

because all those years, I was there
a sunflower among the weeds,
they surrounded me, whining in my ear
trying to change me, to take away the truth
but even still in the end,
I rose, and continued
to turn towards the sun

and life is like an ocean
and I am like the tide,
everyone chooses to swim past
or let themselves sink to the bottom,
but all along I had been content with just floating on,
embracing everything and everyone
heading towards me,
but in the end, I was still never enough

and I was never one to ask for much,
standing by in the hurricane of desire
with half closed eyes and soft wits
in the lovely, cool, shimmering rain,
I did what they asked
wiped my tears away and swallowed my pride,
and no matter how it hurt
I still got up each day, and smiled

and now, our time is almost up,
and this is when we reach the threshold
of never realizing what we had
until it's all gone,
and although I'm not one to hold grudges,
I can't help but wish

that the day
all the sunflowers on the tide
drown,
they; the oppressors will all perish,
and pure light
will be able to flood
the ocean of tears again.

I stood in the February snow
the freezing sleet
no boots
no coat
Steam wafting off my fury

My father read the lie
two hundred yards away
and walking toward me

So I owned it
told it
With a snarl
Without a flinch
Both knowing

I held my ground before him
and wore the red of his hand
on my face for a week

Somewhere, amongst the debris
of cigarettes after ***,
chemicals to induce sleep,
I forgot what it means to love.

I forgot what it means to breathe,
to sit still, and just be.

Somewhere, beneath these hooded seams
of solitude and well-versed grief,
beats a heart less cynical,
less tamed by vague distraction.

My nervous ticks and bad habits,
line of best fit for a near-hit
of satisfaction:

This is not enough, I know.
This is not nearly enough
to cool the bray of life
that still rattles meaning in my bones.

I forgot what it means to love,
what separates a house from a home.

Somewhere beyond this thirst
for brand-new words
is a gratitude for all that has been.
Every cliché holds a truth.

Every sentiment, a cocoon,
that I should lie so still inside

until I am wholesome,
until I am new.

My sweetheart welcome me with open arms
Let my love longings be fulfilled just for ever
Let me kiss and caress you with love norms
Let us be companions for real taste and flavor

I just own my body but you are my soul's solace
Every contentment comes through your red lips
In every trying situation you are my only grace
I am enthralled by wonderful curves giving tips

I want to explore all treasure but being one on one  
In the process I may discover you all and in entirety
Let me see you burning with burning blazon sun
But before that my love you have to agree to disagree

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow

Skies are covered,
in that dreary cloudfilled gray,
the sun he hides his lovely self today,
his light has gone-
for now away,
an now-
is gloomy in his place.

I know his light,
will come to me on another day,
again the birds in song will sing I pray,
when I will dance again,
as my sweet memories,
as they again replay,
as a smile comes to my face.

I wish to rest my heart.
so there has to be another way,

for my stupid gypsy heart,
it simply-
it just cannot stay,

And so-
the war between my older and wiser soul,
and my youthful spirit -

Apparently has begun.


Ma Cherie © 2017

Master Manipulator
Parading around with all his strings
Trying to control
Persuade  
Use her to carry out his way of things
Why does everything always
have to be on his terms
Why does she even listen to  
all his mean and careless words
She is a real person
not just a puppet for his life
Now on to him and his ways
She finally sees the real him and understands
and is why she now carries scissors
in her hand :)

You cannot break the broken, you can't live in the past, throw that memory away, you cannot let it stay, oh I wish I had the power to change every wasted hour, to knock down this growing tower under which I fearfully cower, in my ball of self regret.

             
                    I can remember:

                Tears that I have shed.

                 Lies that I have said.

                 Pain I have inflicted.

              Oh how I feel conflicted.


But know now this, for it is true, for all the things I can't undo, I'd never regret loving you.