shallow creeper
blindly seeks
subterranean passage
horizontal
push and ******
fingered shoots
in compliant ground

purple sword
arcs skyward
a deception
yet to unfurl
gold to conceal
the tangle
underneath

perennation
in unfavorable
seasons
propagates
subversive
perpetual
regeneration

The truth of it is
I am not good enough for them
That's why they leave me

They must wake up one day
And realize
I'm not beautiful
And they were crazy to ever say so

They must wake up
And wonder
Why they tell me they love me

They must wake up
And see
I'm flawed inside and out

My hair is thick and unruly
My body is not pretty or toned
My heart is fragile so I worry too much
I say "Hi" at random moments
And I'm too scared to touch
Because I think I'm a bother
I cry for no reason sometimes
I care too much and this scares them
So they see this and leave
Along the way making fake promises
About staying friends and about
Maybe one day being together again
But they'll always see me as flawed
They'll always see the failure
The crazy animal lady
The ****** who loved them too fast
I will never be perfect
And they will never love me for my flaws
They will never love me period
And no I'm not okay with living
As a broken woman
Because it's simply not fair
To love so much
To be broken every time.

Sometimes I wonder

if I even survived
my childhood.

Maybe some part of me
is sleeping
up on the hill.

One of those
Nightmares
That I couldn't escape
Carried me off
In its jaws

and so maybe
I am planted.
Looking down
At all the people
I can't remember.

I hope that I am ashes.
I never wanted a stone.

I am not afraid of the storm.
Or of the wildness of the winds.

I am not afraid of the darkness.
Even my nightmares
Have little power to frighten
Any more.

I am not afraid to die.
There is very little mystery left.

what is left?
You may be wondering

that may be a conversation
For another day

We unfriend so easily --
mice clicking

Memories --
Just a bunch of ******* memes --
Nicely, slickly