You got used to my absence.
My absence doesn't affect you.



- LynnAA

Tell me you love me one more time
Test me
What will I do?
Will I fall back again?
Will I take the bus to see you?
Will I walk away or come closer?
Will I smile or lower my irises to the ground?
Will I say it back or clear my throat?
Will I make love to you or touch your face fondly?

Endless choices to an endless love
Test me
You'll go to bed holding one more soft memory of me.



- LynnAA

After that night the bags under my eyes never went away and streams of white hair made their appearance.
My insides felt like they were planning a revolt and every bit of humanity I had left vanished with a siren like shriek.
My tears felt like acid and the carpet still looks bleached where they fell from the waterfall on my face.
My breath had been stolen by the two ton weight on my chest and I didn't want it back.
My heart had proclaimed its demise because surely nothing can strive after being torn in two.
My eyes wept, my mind wept, even the hands that you used to hold so dear have wept.
After that night my fear has never went away, and even with death, my love never will.

*Some broken hearts just cannot mend.

You took my sails and filled them with the air of your words,
Guided them through my darkness with the light in your eyes,
And gave my journey momentum with the current of your voice.
The course traversing through entire ocean-filled universes.
Breathless.
Hopeful.
Silent.

The reality you feel
Is the illusion your insecurities have fed you.
The observations made become your assumptions
That destroy the beauty of the unknown.
The words you choke on
Distort truth to lies.

Then your silence feeds your fears
Until your heart begins to fill with doubt.
The possibilities dissipitate
Sabotaged any friendship, any hope, any adventure, any future.
Convinced by the anxiety that warps your mind,
You close yourself.

There's no way back through the twisted silence and physical separation.

Ruined.

Last night I cried myself to sleep...
But tonight I'm filled with warmth
and hope to dream of you once more.

I lay here silently listening in the light for her to scream or possibly cry, during this time alone I realize how I may have sounded. Now I'm less frustrated, more sad. I didn't mean for what I said to sound bad. Today turned around quicker than I had expected. I haven't felt this bad in a while. I'm sorry.

You say you know me
Better than I know myself
You judge me cause you think it is easy
It is bever easy to walk in my shoes
It is not the thing that I wanted to choose
You think of me so little
Yet I am full of news
I am a riddle that you can never solve
Step into my body and figure out how my cells beat
Figure out how every brain cell speaks
Show me what my eyes can see
And what my limbs seek
Don't think I am weak
I show compasion because i have reached the peek
When you slap me I turn the other cheek
I am born to love
Not to push and shove
Respect who I am and don't throw me under the bus
My heart is whiter than a feather of a dove
Respect my humanity that is a gift from above
My brother what you see is not the image that it appears to be
The real image is hidden in a mist that the other will not reveal to me
So don't look at him and you think you have figuered out the key
You will need to be closer to him to understand what is he
He might be somone who you never thought he could be
He might be the devil hidding in an angels rougue
And pulls out his sowrd
And stab you in the heart
And as you fall down and bleed in pain
You will understand that judging people is a shame
The mirror reflects the human that we see
But doest it reflect the bones and muscles lying inside of me
We are humans and thats the easiet we could be
But we got to evolve to be the best that people thought we can only be

You find inspiration in the darkest places, like lost love and letting go. He may be gone but there's always faint traces and no one new could fill the voids and spaces. You'll find yourself spending days tracing faces but none will ever be the same. Broken hearts never fully heal because just like a shattered glass, you can't fix anything when there's missing pieces.

this echo will only confuse
put your fingers in your ears
yell or hum
try to think of baseball games
concentrate on geometric figures
recall sunny days
picnics in the park
rev that hemi engine
neigh like a stallion
turn Led up
smoke a blunt
snort something
position yourself with a concrete wall
between us
think of gramma
whatever it takes
to not hear
or face it
write a poem
a novel
read the dictionary
just close it off
it won't do anything
but make one think
and that is painful

if i die,
I want to be content,
Solemn
and atleast happy
not
lonely

Beyond the rolling bones
Of memory's myths
And the ancient sounds of laughter and tears
Something mystical exists
Something deeper than marrow
The seeds of our ancestor's dreams and fears
And at a level beyond our knowing
It still rules our actions
And leads us to our fates

                                             By Phil Roberts