When I go out at night
trying to sweep up the stars
my woman grows weary
of the cold weather in me
she thinks I am with someone
else, but it is midnight
and I am alone with the moon
that woman in a red dress
standing on the beach
but you see, it is an empty
plate with no supper, or
maybe a piece of stationery
without a lover's phone number.

Heart hard and worn as an old cemetery flag-stone.
Relationships were dead and buried there,
lovers long gone.
It can't help but mourn.
Does so alone
in lost hours.
Unexpectedly it stumbles upon
regrets thought flown,
hopes toppled down
and echos the loss of someone.

I hate you here
I hate you there
I wish not to hate
because I am not one to hate,
but I think about you
way too much
for someone that no longer cares

I think how you were,
the things you asked of me

The things that were said,
the things you screamed,
the pain you charged at me

I still walk by that picnic table
and think of that night
you chased me down
when I wanted to leave

I still look at that park
and think of those nights
full of tears and anguish

The stars we walked under,
barely visible
as if even they knew,
the end was near
the moon shined down a perfect light
for our shadows to leap on

I still drive by that path we walked,
the time you told me things you've
not admitted to others before me

I remember thinking then
that you were a complete mess,
and not mine to fix,
but still,
it was so very hard to let go

It still is,
and after the time that has gone by
I saw your car just the other day
It just set me ablaze

You ruined so many things for me,
you laid out these lies
that I was supposed to trust
you laid out your fear,
your anger
that you held onto deeply
the past,
ours and yours
it rang inside of you like a bell
billowing out like a nuclear blast

I wasn't sure of you at first,
you were adamant
you were misleading
you were comforting,
but the things you became
riveted me in such a way
that I haven't been able to overcome

I'm guilty of a lot things,
but with you I was better

I needed time to become that way
I needed time to heal from the loss I had before you

I wasn't given that time,
and we see the results now

We see the results of two people,
claiming honesty
and getting lies

I find myself lost again
In a pit void of light and hope
(With familiarity to bruise me further)

Who would drop me in here?

Where any weep you let out
No matter how quiet
Will echo back with the weight of all your sorrows

It's not like "friendship" and "true love" will help
Oh No
They have only dragged me deeper
Piercing my heart with blade called trust
And using you as a steping stone to leave
The very place I drown in

Why would they leave?

Only the lights of moments once shared
Seem to offer
Or some sense of it
But even the brightest of stars fade over time
Why would hope be any different?

By the weeping willow our hearts entwine
And through the shadow of the mist
Our love is made
No boundaries we crossed
Just two souls dining
On the delights of desire
Your passion
My meaning
Your life
Now in my hands as we create
As we grow old
Fearless
Reckless
We end as we begun
Lying in the grass
Peaceful and content

You cannot break the broken, you can't live in the past, throw that memory away, you cannot let it stay, oh I wish I had the power to change every wasted hour, to knock down this growing tower under which I fearfully cower, in my ball of self regret.

             
                    I can remember:

                Tears that I have shed.

                 Lies that I have said.

                 Pain I have inflicted.

              Oh how I feel conflicted.


But know now this, for it is true, for all the things I can't undo, I'd never regret loving you.