Cold steel chains
Constricting pain
Burning sensations
Sanity slain

Heavy weight
Against my skin
Unforgiving
Relentless head-spin

Dry bloodstains
A malicious mark
Guilty as charged
*Repeat, restart

~

*Springtime sings of wondrous things
Of warmer days and robin’s wings
Of daffodils and playground swings
Of sunny morning wanderings
Of fishing poles and wedding rings
Of family picnic gatherings
Of arbors blooming jasmine clings
Of sweetly scented offerings
Of firefly meanderings
Of stardust moonlit ponderings
Of all the happiness it brings
Yes springtime sings of wondrous things

I'm watching your features fade
From our children's faces.
The pieces of you
Are flitting out
Of their personalities.

I can see our daughter's face,
My mother's curly hair
Framing it,
And your eyes blinking at me
From underneath it.
Her fingers are fast
On frets and strings
Like her father.
And she jumbles up the digits
On her math pages
Like her mother.
I can feel us hold her for the first time,
I can see you kissing her forehead.

The hardest part will be letting this go.

I can see our firstborn son,
Running up to me
For a kiss after he scraped his knee,
With Starwars temporary tattoos
Climbing up his arms.
I can picture the freckles
Sprayed across a nose like mine,
And a brave smile
From thin lips like yours.
I can see you running his dumptrucks
All over the house together.

I'm not just losing you.

I can picture our second daughter,
With fine hair from you,
Colored ginger from me.
I can see her muddy footprints
Tracked through our kitchen,
From staying out in the rain,
Just like her parents loved to.
I can see her toddling
Through our home,
My eyes staring up at me
Filled to the brim with tears
When she falls,
Your nose all red,
And my mouth
In a pout.

I'm losing them too.

I can imagine our youngest son,
Snuggled up on your lap,
With his daddy's scowl
From drowsiness.
Then my smile, and your laugh
As you blow on his belly.
I can hear him crying
In the wee early hours of the morning,
I can picture you holding me,
As I hold him,
Rocking him back to sleep.

I can see our children
Gathered around the dinner table,
And I know,
The hardest part will be giving up
This dream
I built with you,
This future we'll never have.
I'm watching them
Fade away.

Everydays
a sunny day
if even clouds appear

Or lightening
streaks across the sky
with raindrops falling near

For as I gaze,
with smiling eyes
upon these skies above

All I can see
are sunny days
because of your sweet love

I'm wearing one now
the noose is tightening

Problems that won't get resolved

You know the ones I mean

The refrigerator died
The roof is leaking

Everyone in the house
has a
Virus
Including the computer

The boss hasn't taken
a vacation or a shower
for
four or five years

True love that ain't comin'
and
bank accounts they go to zero

All problems, they say are time limited
But when in the midst of an albatross
the grinding wheels of time
come to a standstill in your mind

Anxiety Apprehension
late into the night

But you know
we know
the albatross
goes away or is forgotten

when it's on the scene, though  
life is just plain mean.