The only thing brighter than hope
is loss
it chews into the goldsmith
that makes the soul
and gnaws me into colors
each part of me flying down
into the wilderness I am fluttering
as the farmer ploughs me into earth
where my intensity can rest.

In full dress once
I left an economy of boughs,
the candle isn't lit, a wick without its crown
I leave the world schooled in lean and lithe, a yogi,
I am here to study my own neglect.
The rest of the world, lion bodied,
glances at my century of rough.

But I robed the ground with my convictions
I couldn’t keep them
seasons burst out of me
even if I wanted to hoard my greedy treasures for myself
I couldn't
thus robbed of my enfranchisement
I mutter in time to the wind
sorrow gave me this reason-flayed second purpose

Which is to feed others, my body now a spilled nut
I am birded by the sowing belly of earth
my bells are rained and pinched
by this tapering
I am being shrunk to get through the door to death
only snow will enter in the end
when I am covered white and immaculate
together we give up color for the season of bones.

You may not believe it, but I have tried,
To come to terms with this thing
Called forgive and forget,
While reaching for the tissues box
So what about my hidden scars?
My daily reminders, my mentors
I have tried.. But they taught me to be
Strong, and believe that out of bad comes good

Maybe I ought to tried, a *******
To see if I can came to terms with that too..
With me, myself and I: what a fantastic dual

I love me: and I, was fondling myself.
My evil mind, my impure thoughts
My labor of love: I did try

Poetry writing has taught me a lot throughout the years
I can be original, but I would never master the craft
But I will have a voice of recognition: My human voice

Ain't no woman for me, no, no,
'Cept the Lady Annabelle.
I'm gonna tell the story,
'Bout how she put me through hell.

I said to my Lady,
"You can have whatever you claim."
She took her box to the Northern fields;
She filled her box with the sugar cane.

I said, "Why'd ja have to break my heart?
Why'd ja have to break my heart?"

Aint't no kind of feeling
Like when your heart is in some pain.
And it don't help at all to know
She filled her box with the sugar cane.

I said, "Why'd ja have to break my heart?
Why'd ja have to break my heart?"

What’s a lovely girl like you doing in a dump like this.
I own it.
That course i took is working well.
Was that the diplomatic course.
It was, have you been on it.
Have i asked you any stupid questions.
Not yet, but give it time.
Ask me another question.
What’s your name.
Sonya.
You’re kidding, did your parents not like you.
Did you actually attend that course.
Well i sort of started the online application, but this **** site popped up and i got distracted.
Did anything else pop up.
That’s quite witty, Sonya.
It wasn’t meant to be. I was meaning, did any religious sites pop up.
Well they do say God works in mysterious ways. So i’m thinking he came through as ***** Bertha from Berlin.
Are you a bit rusty chatting up women.
Well i have just come out of a long term relationship.
Sorry to hear that, how long were you together.
A week.
Wish i hadn’t asked now. Was that a full week.
Well a week is a week.
Not necessarily, it might have been Saturday, Sunday.
I suppose so.
So was it.
No, it was Wednesday, Saturday.
So technically it was four days.
If you want to be pedantic about it.
What about your relationship before that.
Eight days.
What’s your longest relationship.
Three weeks.
That must have seemed like a marriage to you.
Actually my wife died tragically.
I’m really sorry, that was insensitive of me.
Only kidding Sonya, she ran off with the window cleaner. The windows have never recovered.
My God, you’re a train wreck.
You want to be on that train, don’t you Sonya.
I do, i actually want to go out with you. Why the hell do i want to go out with you.
Well Sonya, if you don’t go out with me. Then one fine day you’ll marry this boring guy, and i’ll be at the back of your mind.
But in my mind, I’ve already dumped you.
Not necessarily Sonya, this could be a match made in heaven.
It won't be, I’ve already known you five minutes, and already you’re doing my head in.
Well that is a sort of a relationship, is it not.
I suppose so. I don’t even know your name.
It’s Paul.
Paul, did your parents not like you.
Do you see what you did there, Sonya.
*** i’ve become you, how the hell did that happen.
I’m not sure Sonya, maybe we shouldn’t go out together.
No we must, it’s like i need to go out with you for my sanity’s sake.
Okay Sonya, pick you up at eight tomorrow night...

Every chore is a blessing,
Every blessing a chore.
Everyday holds bad and good.
'Tis but life, and nothing more.

I stare,
The outsider looking in.

******* comment,
Or a practiced defence?

Cigarette slowly shrinking,
Ember glowing bright.

Out of options,
Out of time.

Walls closing in,
Creeping like vines.

Shotglass is full,
unlike the bottle.