Please
Don't humor me with empty promises of
   I'm in town
                  I'd love to meet up
           You are amazing
                          I love you
When everyone knows
You pity me more
Than you could ever
Love
        me

Everything from this afternoon
1. I do believe that moths are just distracted butterflies
2. Butterflies may also be distracted but in a way others find acceptable
3. Have you ever wondered why stop signs are red?
4. Between all these thoughts, your face and name remain somewhere infused in them.
5. There are so many waves in an ocean, some that swell and break. One day, I hope to count them all.
6. My father taught me always to listen to understand, not to reply.
7. These eyes float full and heavy, I Pray the rain holds off just a little while longer. Enough to embrace you one last time.
8. I wrote this list, everything that was worth writing down. I've been trying to give it to you with hope that you will read it sometime.
9. If you're reading this I hope you see it was never really a list, just trying to tiptoe around the fear of losing you. Honestly, it is the only thing on my mind.

Nothing*
        fills the soul
Like the fruit
            of your **womb

tell me i'm being a dramatic brat
because i'm the one
who turned you down
i threw you away

you have saved my life
too many times to count
i tried to give you space
these long years
six years ago
you met me
and i was a doll
and you were a bird
and now i am nothing

i expected to be your last
pick as it's been
for the past years after
she told you no as always
i actually expected that
i'm such a *****

but she said yes
she told you yes

i remember
when we were thirteen
back when we were thirteen
and now you're and adult
and i'm not far behind
and you said she'd be with him
and in my head i added that
you'd be with me
you'd be with me
it seems i've always been
a presumptuous little *****

i can't believe
i'm crying over you
you always made me cry
more than anyone
even back when i was twelve
do you remember when
we were twelve
and you told your instructor about
how you gave me my insomnia
you were the start
of the problem that still
haunts me at late hours
but you were the start
you were the start of me
of so much good
you are the only one who knows
the secret i won't tell a soul
not another soul
just us alone
you are the first one
the first one i loved selflessly

i tried to give you space
i know i came back a few times
but i tried to forget you
in other men
because you proved to me
not all men were
*** driven pigs
utter *******
like i grew up with

and i asked last year
i asked why not me
what with all our chemistry and how
you're the only one
i have ever let touch me
with out panicking
you are the only one
i asked why
and you gave me the reason
the one thing i cannot change
and i weep over it bitterly
that the only thing keeping me from you
is perhaps
the thing i love most about you

and i wanted one night to feed
my craving for all the nights
but she took it from me
the sweet girl
who has the one thing
i do not
the sweet girl
you met a year before me
and you fell in love with
seven years ago
a year before i fell for you
i love you

i just wanted that one night
one night
a girl who is devastated
over one night of her life
tell me i'm being a dramatic brat
because i threw you away first
and you haven't given me
a second chance i don't deserve
~

The only thing I'm afraid of
is forgetting about this

Why did you eat that?
Don't you know
You're already fat?

Everyone is staring,
At the way your skin
Is swelled and sagging.

No one wants you,
With all that extra cargo
You look 200 pounds.

Put the food down
And go for a run --
You look disgusting.

Why did you eat that?
Don't you know
You're already fat?