GF: "It's not you, its me!"
BF: "You're right! It is you!
GF: "WHAAT!"



copyright: r. riddle 06-29-15

All mine friends
Are ghost's
Tis
They cometh around
Early "morn"
And late evening.....

Creating a problem
For every solution

I hit mine head at birth
And for some reason
It gaveth me a different vision,
Tis,
I figured out I wasn't human!!!

My girlfriend is upset,
and I have no idea why
For some reason she's mad,
and for some reason I made her cry

I tried to calm her down,
but she wouldn't look at my face
She told me to leave her alone,
and that I'm a rotten disgrace

I tried to speak to her,
but she did not want to tell
I tried to ask her what went wrong,
but she told me to go to hell

She did not cook me dinner,
so we ate Chinese take-out
I tried to smile and start a conversation,
but she just sat there with her pout

I wonder what I must have done,
to unleash such unholy wrath
I tried to figure it out,
I tried to do the Math

My girlfriend was trying to **** me,
and settle some unknown score
She tried to hit me with a frying pan,
and chase me out the door

I fear for my life,
my girlfriend has turned into a witch
Now she's got a chainsaw,
and she just turned on the switch

Her eyes were glowing red,
and she spat out blasphemy
She came at me with the chainsaw,
and I almost jumped out the balcony

I never saw her this worked up,
I must really be at severe fault
She was always so loving and kind,
but now all those things were at a halt

I tried to recollect if it was something I did,
or could it have been something I said?
Was I just a terrible boyfriend?
or was I just awful in bed?

As she chased me and I ran,
I wondered what started this vicious spat
It suddenly struck me and then I remembered,
Oh yes... I called my girlfriend FAT.

Doesn't anyone
on this site
ever sleep?
  ~mce

I feel so far from everyone.
Isolated.
They are unaffected by my pungent aroma.
Perhaps I won't wash.
Then my smell might waft into their lives.
I'd be noticed for once.

Hey, fat child, look at yourself.
You can't possibly be happy with the way you look.
Let me help you, child.
Just loose one pound, its all you need.

Hey, fat child, look at yourself.
You can't be happy with that fat!
One or two more pounds can't hurt.
Look, now you've lost three.

Hey, look, your still fat.
Loose a little more weight.
Just a few more pounds.
Soon no one will hate.

Look at how much you've lost,
you poor, fat, child.
Are those ribs?
Just a few more and you'll be perfect.

There goes four,
then five,
six, ten, soon twenty five more.
Look at your ribs.

Skinny, dumb, ugly, child.
You've ended up in the hospital!
Don't you know your supposed to eat.
You were so dumb to listen to me.