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 May 2021 Amanda
ghost queen
i don't understand
i had all the answers

i grew up

now it's all complicated
and gray
 Dec 2018 Amanda
eileen
We only talk at midnight
When you can't sleep
and I'm lonely
not a soul in sight

Close all windows
She can't hear a noise

I do everything for them
I ask for nothing in return

Desperate feelings
immediate reactions

I can't bare
to hear
someone's judgement

So I become their perfect person

I belong to this earth
and I have no ground

Lost in a forest
with no sound

I'm a lonely bird

Someday
Someone
will hear me sing
 Dec 2018 Amanda
eileen
It's the
worst thing
Having to let go
someone
you love more
than yourself
 Jul 2018 Amanda
Bec
When I’m sober I’m
so good,
so high on myself.
I talk to my friends and
I love that they love me
just the way I am.
But right now I’m drunk
and I’m falling in love
with all my exes,
all the people who are
poisonous.
I need validation
so I text boys who
I know will get off
on my words, on the
pictures I send them.
I have a whole list of their numbers
for nights like these.
I don’t even know
if they’d recognize me
in the morning.
I don’t even recognize myself
as I delete messages,
words, feelings.
No one will ever know
all the things I crave
if they don’t know me
sober.
 Jul 2018 Amanda
Lora Lee
Gently, she goes
as soft as a fawn
opens the window
and waits for the dawn
fireflies glow
wind caresses her face
as she sheds all the shadows
not leaving a trace
She dons velvet darkness
wrapped in its cloak
releases all poisons,
                 sylphlike,
             in smoke
She is preparing for battle
in her own, quiet way
She only wants wholeness
as she breaks through the gray
For soon she will weave
prismatic wonders of spells
her own inner aurora
lighting heaven from hell
For suffered she has
and it's time to forgive
unlock self-made prisons
and let herself live
and now as sunrise approaches
stars still in sight
she turns the skeleton key
and glides
into
             flight
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