has your life really been that easy?
that you can spout your ****
and expect no consequence?
has it been that easy?
that you really expect no backlash
when you say those things
with a grin on your face?
has it really been that soft?
that no matter what you say or do
you will never know pain again?

i held my tongue this once
but next time i will prove to you
that not everyone has had the luxury
of forgetting hell.

empty days                       empty or dead
empty head                             that im not
empty eyes                            alive and
empty or dead                 that i am still
eternal void approaching              me
no reason to stay                   reminded
only anger and sorrow              warmth
and as the dark closed in        and her
I closed                               was blinding
my                                       and her light
eyes...                     by her shrill laughter
        but was startled awake

You taught me so much.

How to hate without breaking.
How to lie without crying.
How to sleep without resting.

How to scatter the contents of your mind against the wall by your bed each night
like rainbow glass crashing
into rainbow splatter dripping
into rainbow puddles flowing
into black cracks.

******* without killing.

d
     r
      i
        p
                  d
              r
            i
    ­         p
     d
    r
  o
p

tears
  blood
    or wine
      you chose

Hey, Look!

Blue cloth pants with yellow vertical stripes and glittery disco boots!

Joy and dance in concrete club halls!

30 foot tall glass tanks filled to the brink with tiny white pills, turn the tap, they go clack clack clack on the floor!

Bass boosted booms burrows beneath bones, flesh feasts on fear, and fights for fickle infatuation.

Saliva drips between the beats, two hundred souls makes a swamp and their legs get tired from sloshing through the fluids.

Outlives the sun and makes love with the moon, their friend, and anyone to everyone else.

It's a party!

A party!

Cobwebs
Stagnant water
Lightless
Hopeless
Useless

The mere sight of it made our angels above recoil in disgust.

A festering wound that poisons the well. Meandering procrastination. Birthed hate and envy.

It is rot.

It is decay.

It is a promise.

It is inevitable.

It is home.