I started working again-
Suddenly I have to remember how to talk to people again.
Do I say "hello" first or do I introduce myself without a greeting?
I need to learn to smile with my eyes instead of my mouth because the mask covers it all night.
So many people are out and I can't help but wonder if those three months were for nothing.
Day 80 and everyone seems to act like they've forgotten what we were all fighting for.
I started a new job and it's the first time I've had to interact with people other than my roommate.
I've grown into the type of person that says "I will go on with or without you."
Into a person that loses people left and right, but knows that as long as I have myself everything will be alright.
So, why is it I still check everyday for your response?
I cannot process a heartbreak that I have yet to begin.
Not a lover, but a friend that left my heart in two.
15 years of memories, laughs, secrets, and sleepovers.
From grade 3, yet you still found it in your heart to leave.
Do you know how it feels? Acerbic.
I just tried to show you the red flags yet he convinced you that I was one instead.
You chose a man that cares for nothing more than getting in your pants, over a friend that only wants you to be safe
Was it easy for you to give us up?
You made the decision so suddenly that the knife of numbness is still stuck in my heart.
I'm scared of what I'll feel once I try to remove it.
For now it's fear of what will happen when you're left with just him.
I look at myself and wonder if I'm a bad person for letting you stay.
Then I look at pictures of you and remember you decided to drop me.
Yet I still pose the the question "Am I the *******?"
Based off of 15 years of friendship down the drain faster than water from a sink. Also inspired by the title of the subreddit "Am I The *******"
I'll never forget the tears we cried in different homes
When they threw you out and threatened the same to me
The strength you built from holding your own
And coming back for me
poetry challenge: write a 5 line poem to the last person you texted.
Sometimes home feels so normal that I forget that ever happened to us.
A month has never before felt like a year.
30 days of breakdowns and sanitizing my tears
A month alone-
Quarantined from everything but my thoughts of you
Just one day is what I crave
24 hours of bliss that bring me back from the disassociation of the everyday
I know I shouldn't risk life for a day with you
Yet the temptation grows as fast as COVID does
Tell me it's wrong
That I should keep us both safe
Remind me of the cost even if it hurts me to hear
Remind me that 30 days is nothing compared to a life without you.
Day 30 and I want to risk it all.
For the person I didn't realize I had feelings for until I was lockdown away from them and all I want to do is be there with them and scream how much I want to be with them.
An untouched forest
Oh so grand
Hints of dirt fragranced by rain
Full of crystal blue rivers that relaxes anyone that gets near to see them flow
Golden specks of morning flowers scattered within the vibrant green forest.
Combined they create the depth of your eyes that I find myself lost in so often.
Not sure where I was going with this. But here it is.
My mind races with thoughts of you. Memories of us hit my mind like a boxer- punch after punch until I knockout. It is so hard knowing your heart is full of pain which leads your garden of a mind to be poisoned by your lips to keep yourself safe.
I just want to open the gates and water your garden...