I've never been able to get good sleep.
My eyes darker than black holes, I spiral down.
I try to clamber up, but I'm in way too deep.

Daydreaming at night.
The loss of myself, but very aware of my state of mind.
Release is only found within the sunrise.
Every night I stumble on the moon.
I jump star to meteor, hoping gravity pulls me into the space between. Maybe then I can get some real good sleep.

History book worthy battles, I wonder who will be the victor.
Love or loath; a sword drawn to my heart.
Arms apart, head thrown back.
I'm not even entirely sure what part of me I'm killing, I'm just praying for relief, I just want some sleep.

I was sick of the suffering, autopilot is my new definition of personality.
Memories have turned into sadistic nightmares.
Let me free myself from this close eyed, open mind torture.
I cant even stand to walk around my own mind, silence is full of beasts I have yet to slay.    
I'd rather hide in the wounded parts of me, call myself a survivor.
A survivor of nothing out of the ordinary.

Sometimes I think about.
High buildings, moving cars or bridges with beautiful scenery.
I have this saviour complex, an rubix cube lover.  
Destructive distractions are a pass time, I have an infatuation with underdogs.

Blowing bubbles, I like to swim against them.  
Purgatory is my sanctuary.
Pain is paradise, numb to most.
Inflicting paper cuts for fun.  
The caring nature of a broken soul, is a laughable misery.

Can I be saved?

Smite me, Lord I do not believe.
Sins of good intentions.
Relieve me, release me.

Redeem me, give me a purpose worth bowing for.
I just need more, let me bleed for bliss.
Lord I am hungry.
Starving for the ignorance you bring, Lord lay your hand on me.

Lead me, I need your light I was never taught to love.
I am blind, Lord give me your sight.

Heed me, I'm unsure if I have already fallen.
Resurrect me, I am surely ******.

Lord save me.

I was too immersed, in love with the idea of love.

My intellect drowning in the fascination of desire.
The ideology of you manifesting the adoration I demand.

Instead deceit trickled from your throat, oozed from your lips to plug my eardrums.

The bitterness of trickery fresh on your tongue for me to taste.
Ignorance played on repeat, rehearsing the sickly sweet tune you once sang.

An epiphany of misconception. The creator of my contorted heart, over dreamed daydreams.

Silly girl, did you not know fear is of the mind?

You can be freed.

If you simply chose to be.

Do you remember the carousel you took me to, on our first date?
The twists and turns still taunt me.
Round and round, as obsession started to leave a rotten taste in my mouth.

A severe sting, chewing sandpaper like candy-floss to erase your name from the tip of my tongue.
You had already made it into my blood stream, love drunk.
On Budweiser served in plastic bottles, I flip filthy ride tokens like they're gold coins. You became treasure to me.

Darling, the ghost train has nothing on you.
I fell for you hook line and sinker, unfortunately you continued to play. Crashing, I no longer gave myself time to recuperate.

We moved like clock work, to feed on the exhilaration we desired.
As I grind to a halt, you stubbornly carry on.
Until rusted exhaustion kicks in, misshapen and misused.

I hold my breath to **** the yearning in my throat, make the butterflies drop dead.

Oh boy, you are a poets *******.

Do you know how many teary ink cocktails you are going to create? You are going to be an inspiration, admired by many.

You boy, will be the beauty within every heartbreak.

Can you visualize the wreck? Imagine the triumph?
Try an picture the suffering? Feed on the exhilaration.

Glide your lips along my worn splintered spine.
Distinguish a young soul from the old book scent?

Rip out the pages of impurity, burn them too ashes.
Can you reach them when my heart is engulfed with smoke, lit from the constant fire of ambition.

The first time he evaluated me like I was a trinket in a craft shop, looking over to see if I was worth for what I have.
I eagerly smiled at the attention I was taught to crave, told countless times a lover will calm your outspoken heart.

You see, a lover would never be enough. My dancing soul grimaced at my fluttering eyelashes and bashful smile.
I was destined to be too righteous to only be devoured by looking eyes, caging myself would be an injustice act.

For such a wild soul, will never truly be tamed.

These scars you inflicted that only I can see, they do not reside on my body.
These brutal acts that can not be justified, maybe ripped flesh would be easier to console.
These wounds take longer to heal, almost always becomes infected.
Infected on purpose, because I rub dirt inside, every time I allow you back into my bed.

You are the boy with the yellow socks,
Forbidden is your middle name.

Adam comes to mind.
Eve is a daydream, but how mainstream.

Aren't you over apples by now?
Lets feast upon the world with our once innocent eyes, cast us out, of your prison like paradise.

Eden is over rated, lets fall off the edges of the world.
Watch them curve and bend to our will.

I may not be Eve, but I will tempt you with more than fruit.
Our souls do not deserved to be saved, we will be ****** in wide eyed ecstasy.  

The Serpent sensed your yellow socks.
Forbidden is your middle name.

Soaring high, in perfect delusion.
In the happiest parts of my imagination.
Until i plummeted into a bottomless despair.

In my truest form, is my weakest self.
I just wanted to fly in my perfect delusion,
that was never meant to be reality. With you.

I found soil, I swallowed it.
I made myself a flower bed.
I picked seeds, I squeezed them in my hands.
I watched day and night as the stems grew from the creases between my fingers.
I soon realised my feet had rooted into the earth.
I looked to the sun and smiled.

the girl is broken
saddened inside

the fight wore on her
callus covered

holding onto the fragments
soothing herself

crying in the mirror
to show shes human

only as strong
as her flesh feels

riddled with disease
doctors cant prescribe inner peace

Pursed lips, seal my fate with a kiss.
Your velvet tongue licks my wounds so well.
Wine cup collar bones, playing piano on your rib cage.

My wild heart ignites in the presence of your blazing soul.
Lets rain dance naked on roof tops.
Your eyes open to adventure.

You are just so wondrous, my infectious fascination.

I always loved to lick the sweet from your lips.
In the bitter end, it became bothersome.

I hope she tastes magnificent.
She makes fire burn in your belly.
You are the sand, while she the ocean.

I always preferred kissing your morning mouth, never partially liked the sea.

Have you eaten?

Love lost, isolation.
Mediocre conversations that lead to lies.
Eyes pouring, mourning.
Hold your breath, count to three.
Losing grip of your sanity.

Baby just spend the night?
Dig me out.
Crack the casket.
Have a coffee with me.

Is there any reassurance in resurrection?