do I dare disturb the universe?

I don't know what I'm more afraid of--
to see you again
or to never see you again

by trying to save you,
i have saved myself

it kills me every time I remember
that all I could ever do is miss you
never talk to you nor touch you

then all of  a sudden
I was unconsciously writing things about you--
the things we do,
those we don't,
and those we can never do

there are days that I stopped myself
then there are twice as many that I wish I din't

we keep on trying to make it work
we keep on trying to force it
hurting ourselves in the process of trying too hard when we are already aware that it cannot be
it will never be

we are but humans
feels emotions
faced with temptations